Norman Burroughs Quotes in Running with Scissors (2006)

Norman Burroughs: I don't understand.

Six-Year-Old Augusten Burroughs: I polish my allowance. I boil it clean, then polish it with silver polish.

Norman Burroughs: But why, Augusten? Why?

Six-Year-Old Augusten Burroughs: Because I like shiny things.

Norman Burroughs: I really don't see myself in you at all.

Six-Year-Old Augusten Burroughs: I'm more like my mom. I want to be special and I want to be famous.

Norman Burroughs: Is he an MD doctor?

Deirdre Burroughs: Yes. And as I've told you a hundred times, he got his MD at Yale.

Norman Burroughs: You heard about this guy from where?

Deirdre Burroughs: Doctor Newpall. Augusten's allergist. If you were more of a man and involved in your son's life, you'd know who that was. I smell manure.

Norman Burroughs: I don't smell anything.

Deirdre Burroughs: I do, I smell manure. It's coming out of your ears.

Norman Burroughs: Fucking bitch.

Norman Burroughs: So... you're saying we should split up?

Dr. Finch: In order to reach that conclusion, Norman, I would need to see both you and Deirdre on a regular and disciplined basis, for five hours a day.

Deirdre Burroughs: I'm available, Doctor Finch.

Norman Burroughs: Five hours a day? I can't do that! I have to work!

Deirdre Burroughs: See, Doctor Finch, I told you. I'm married to a narcissist.

Dr. Finch: Norman, if I'm willing to clear my schedule to save your marriage, but you're not... then get out! Leave this office, go home, and start dividing your books and your record albums.

Norman Burroughs: This is bullshit. This is really fucking bullshit.

Dr. Finch: [begins writing in his notebook]

Norman Burroughs: What're you writing?

Dr. Finch: "Norman Burroughs is homicidal. He is an unapologetic alcoholic. He is dangerous and a threat to himself, his wife, and his child."

Norman Burroughs: [from trailer] I haven't had a drink in four years.

Deirdre Burroughs: Excuse me, can you get him a medal?

Deirdre Burroughs: I'm unhappy.

Norman Burroughs: I'm unhappy.

Dr. Finch: Norman. If you're so unhappy, why stay in this marriage?

Norman Burroughs: I don't know why. My son.

Dr. Finch: I don't think that's why you stay, Norman. I think you stay because it's comfortable. It's what you know. You were trapped in your childhood by a castrating mother and as an adult male you have sought the same female archetype.

Deirdre Burroughs: [nodding] Well, that's - just - brilliant... and very true.

Deirdre Burroughs: I smell manure. It's coming from your ears.

Norman Burroughs: [muttering] Fucking bitch.

Deirdre Burroughs: I'm available.

Norman Burroughs: Five hours a day! What, I can't do that. I have to work.