Night Clerk Quotes in Mystery Train (1989)

Night Clerk: [after hearing the bellboy complain about his uniform] Well, you should do like I do, shit, go over and buy your own damn clothes over at Lansky's, somewhere like that; I mean, you know it's like they say: the clothes make the man. I mean look at that damn hat on your head, you look like a damn mosquito-legged chimpanzee, I mean-

[he abruptly breaks up]

Mitzuko: Hi! Good night!

Night Clerk: Good night. How may I help you?

Mitzuko: Umm... We would like most cheap room please do you have?

Night Clerk: All our rooms for two people are the same rate.

Mitzuko: Oh.

Jun: (speaking in Japanese) What'd he say?

Mitzuko: (speaking in Japanese) I'm not exactly sure. (In English) I'm sorry, that is too expensive.

Night Clerk: Well, what about on Jupiter?

Bellboy: At the time of his death, if he were on Jupiter, Elvis would've weighed six-hundred and forty-eight pounds.

Night Clerk: Six-hundred and forty-eight. Damn.

Night Clerk: [both stare at a plum on the counter, neither saying a thing] I don't think you should eat that thing.

Bellboy: Yeah, you're probably right.

Night Clerk: You gonna eat it?

Bellboy: No, I'm not gonna eat that thing.

[at this, the night clerk casually reaches over and eats the plum in one bite]

Bellboy: Hey...you ate my plum!

Night Clerk: [hearing a radio ad for seafood, disgusted at what he is hearing] "Jiffy Squid"? Turn that damn thing off! "Jiffy Squid"

[grimaces in dislike and shakes his head]