Nick Ragoni Quotes in Boat Trip (2002)

[having found out they're on a gay cruise, Nick is trying to get himself and Jerry off the ship]

Nick Ragoni: Excuse me, how do I get off really fast?

Man on Deck: Try the Hole in One Room.

Nick Ragoni: [to himself] I'm starting to think that's not a real driving range. In fact, I'm CONVINCED OF IT!

[finding out he was on a gay cruise]

Nick Ragoni: I wonder how many people made the same mistake as I did

[looks around]

Nick Ragoni: NO ONE! SHIT!

Brian: Hey fuck you pal!

Nick Ragoni: Fuck you back!

Brian: Fuck your mother!

Nick Ragoni: Oh yeah no one would wanna fuck my mother cause she's too damn ugly!

[Turns to Jerry]

Nick Ragoni: I just lost it there didn't I.

Jerry Robinson: [while nodding] Ya.

Nick Ragoni: [after seeing the Swedish Bikini Team on board] I must be dreaming. Somebody pinch me.

Man on Deck: Sure, my pleasure.

[pinchs Nick on the butt]

Nick Ragoni: Ow! I didn't say on my ass!

Man on Deck: You didn't *not* say it!

Nick Ragoni: I didn't think I had to specify! Jesus!

Lloyd Faversham: We must get together sometime. Go for a midnight swim. Do whatever feels right. That is what a gay cruise is all about.

Nick Ragoni: [as realization sinks in] I see. Did you hear that, Jer? Whatever we feel like, we can do it. Because it's a gay cruise, Jer. Not a bi cruse, it's a gay cruise! Capital G, capital A, capital Y-M-C-A gay cruise!

Nick Ragoni: How gay can a breakfast buffet be?