Nick Portokalos Quotes in My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)

Nick Portokalos: I've never seen my sister this happy, Ian. If you hurt her, I'll kill you and make it look like an accident.

Nick Portokalos: Listen, you know. I really think you should say: eho tria orchidea. It means: everyone, let's come in the house. I think everybody will really like it.

Ian Miller: [mispronouncing] Eho tria orchidea?

Nick Portokalos: Yeah! That's good! Very good! You got it!

Ian Miller: I'm not falling for that again, Nick.

Nick Portokalos: What?

Ian Miller: Yeah, what. Angelo? How do you say: everyone, let's go into the house?

Angelo: Eho tria orchidea!

Nick Portokalos: Hum?

Ian Miller: Everyone: eho tria orchidea!

[in Greek: "I have three testicles!" - everybody laughs and Taki looks at Ian's crotch, surprised]

Nick Portokalos: Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be part of who you will become.

Toula Portokalos: Nick that's beautiful.

Nick Portokalos: Yeah that dear Abby really knows what she's talking about.

[during Ian's baptism]

Nick Portokalos: See? This isn't so bad.

Toula Portokalos: Are you kidding? Any second now he's gonna look at me and go, "Ha. Yeah, right, you're so not worth this."

Nick Portokalos: Yes, you are.

[Ian reads the wedding invitation]

Ian Miller: My parents' names are Rodney and Harriet.

Toula Portokalos: [horrified] Rodney and HARRY!

Nick Portokalos: We didn't notice, so maybe they won't.

Maria Portokalos: Where did you go?

Nick Portokalos: Nowhere.

Maria Portokalos: What did you do?

Nick Portokalos: Nothing.

Maria Portokalos: Who did you see?

Nick Portokalos: No one.

Nick Portokalos: Hello ladies, fresh baklava!

[takes picture]

Nikki: [girls scream] Nick, give me the camera!

Nick Portokalos: Toula! Toula, help me, c'mon!

Nikki: No boys allowed!

Nick Portokalos: Oh, nice mustache, Nikki!

Nikki: Thank you!

Gus Portokalos: Niko, let's go, let's go.

Nick Portokalos: Dad, is that my tux?

Gus Portokalos: No, this one.

Toula Portokalos: Nick, go to the airport and pick up the band!

Nick Portokalos: Okay, okay.

Gus Portokalos: Hey, what is that thing?

Aunt Lexy: It's a mosquito bite.

Cousin Jennie: [runs, bumps into Nick] I've got the coverup!

Nick Portokalos: [as the girls girls cheer and leave ] You're all nuts!