Nick Charles Quotes in The Thin Man (1934)

Nick Charles: The important thing is the rhythm. Always have rhythm in your shaking. Now a Manhattan you shake to fox-trot time, a Bronx to two-step time, a dry martini you always shake to waltz time.

Nick Charles: Oh, it's all right, Joe. It's all right. It's my dog. And, uh, my wife.

Nora Charles: Well you might have mentioned me first on the billing.

Nick Charles: I'm a hero. I was shot twice in the Tribune.

Nora Charles: I read where you were shot 5 times in the tabloids.

Nick Charles: It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids.

Lieutenant John Guild: You got a pistol permit?

Nick Charles: No.

Lieutenant John Guild: Ever heard of the Sullivan Act?

Nora Charles: Oh, that's all right, we're married.

Nora Charles: You know, that sounds like an interesting case. Why don't you take it?

Nick Charles: I haven't the time. I'm much too busy seeing that you don't lose any of the money I married you for.

Nick Charles: How'd you like Grant's tomb?

Nora Charles: It's lovely. I'm having a copy made for you.

Nora Charles: All right! Go ahead! Go on! See if I care! But I thinks it's a dirty trick to bring me all the way to New York just to make a widow of me.

Nick Charles: You wouldn't be a widow long.

Nora Charles: You bet I wouldn't!

Nick Charles: Not with all your money...

Nick Charles: Hey, would you mind putting that gun away? My wife doesn't care, but I'm a very timid fellow.

Nora Charles: You idiot!

Nick Charles: [to the gunman] Alright, shoot! I mean, uh, what's on your mind?

Nora Charles: Nick? Nicky?

Nick Charles: What?

Nora Charles: You asleep?

Nick Charles: Yes!

Nora Charles: Good. I want to talk to you.

Nora Charles: How many drinks have you had?

Nick Charles: This will make six Martinis.

Nora Charles: [to the waiter] All right. Will you bring me five more Martinis, Leo? Line them right up here.

Reporter: Well, can't you tell us anything about the case?

Nick Charles: Yes, it's putting me way behind in my drinking.

Nora Charles: Pretty girl.

Nick Charles: Yes. She's a very nice type.

Nora Charles: You got types?

Nick Charles: Only you, darling. Lanky brunettes with wicked jaws.

Nora Charles: Take care of yourself

Nick Charles: Why, sure I will.

Nora Charles: Don't say it like that! Say it as if you meant it!

Nick Charles: Well, I do believe the little woman cares.

Nora Charles: I don't care! It's just that I'm used to you, that's all.

Nick Charles: Say, how did you people happen to pop in here?

Lieutenant John Guild: We hear this is getting to be sort of a meeting place for the Wynant family, so we figured we'll stick around just in case the old boy himself should show up. Then we see this bird sneak in, we decide to come up. And lucky for you we did!

Nick Charles: Yes, I might not have been shot.

Nick Charles: Now my friends, if I may propose a little toast. Let us eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.

Nora Charles: You give such charming parties, Mr. Charles.

Nick Charles: Thank you, Mrs. Charles.

Nick Charles: Now how did you ever remember me?

Dorothy: Oh, you used to fascinate me. A real live detective. You used to tell me the most wonderful stories. Were they true?

Nick Charles: Probably not.

Nick Charles: The murderer is right in this room. Sitting at this table. You may serve the fish.

Nick Charles: Now don't make a move or that dog will tear you to shreds.

Nora Charles: [after the doorbell rings on Christmas Eve] Who's that?

Nick Charles: It's probably Santa Claus.

Nora Charles: [after Nick gets shot at] Do you want a drink?

Nick Charles: What do you think?

Nick Charles: [carrying a tray of drinks] Here's that man again! Ammunition! Highballs and cocktails - the long and short of it.

[last lines]

Nora Charles: [In their two-berth sleeping car] Nicky... Nicky, put Asta in here with me tonight.

Nick Charles: [chuckles] Oh, yeah?

[Nick throws Asta in the upper berth. Nick leans down to kiss Nora. Asta covers his eyes with his paws. Last shot you see the train traveling off into the night as the soundtrack plays, "California, Here I Come."]

Tommy: Say, I'm getting out of here.

Nick Charles: No, you stay here.

Tommy: If I stay, I know I'm gonna take a poke at him.

Nick Charles: Then I insist that you stay.

Nora Charles: [suffering from a hang-over] What hit me?

Nick Charles: The last martini. How 'bout a pick-me-up?

Nora Charles: No!

Nora Charles: Is that my drink over there?

Nick Charles: What were you drinking?

Nora Charles: Rye.

Nick Charles: [finishes her drink in one gulp and hands her the empty glass] Yes, that's yours.

Tanner: Julia Wolf got me a job as her bookkeeper.

Nick Charles: Well, that's a hot one. Bookkeeper. Where did you ever learn bookkeeping?

Tanner: That last time you sent me up, I learned bookkeeping in Sing Sing.

Nick Charles: [inviting MacCaulay in] What are you drinking?

Herbert MacCaulay: Oh, nothing, thanks. Nothing.

Nick Charles: Oh, that's a mistake.

Nick Charles: Haven't you heard the news? I'm a gentleman now!

Nick Charles: C'mon in kid, shed the chapeau.

Nora Charles: Who is she?

Nick Charles: Oh, darling, I was hoping I wouldn't have to answer that.

Nora Charles: Come on.

Nick Charles: Well, Dorothy is really my daughter. You see, it was spring in Venice and I was so young, I didn't know what I was doing. We're all like that on my father's side.

Nora Charles: By the way, how is your father's side?

Nick Charles: Oh, it's much better, thanks. And yours?

Nick Charles: [singing] For tomorrow may bring sorrow, so tonight let us be - gay...

Reporter: Why are you in town?

Nick Charles: My wife is on a bender. I'm trying to sober her up.

Nick Charles: [Bringing out a tray full of cocktails] Ammunition! Come on, stock up.

Male Yuletide Reveler: Let-let this one ride, mate.

Nick Charles: You better! Hard times might catch you.

Female Yuletide Reveler: Nick, who are these amazing people?

Nick Charles: Oh, just a lot of old friends. Romans! Countrymen! What do you say?

Police Captain: This is like old times, Nick. Remember when we used to have 'em when we were flat broke.

Nick Charles: Oh, don't I.

Police Captain: Those were the good old days.

Nick Charles: Don't kid yourself. These are the good old days.

Nick Charles: Can't you get to sleep?

Nora Charles: No.

Nick Charles: Well, maybe you should take a drink. It will help you.

Nora Charles: No, thanks.

Nick Charles: Well, then maybe it will help if I took it!

Morelli: I didn't knock Julia off.

Nick Charles: All right, you didn't.

Morelli: I ain't seen her in about three months. We was all washed up.

Nick Charles: Why tell me?

Morelli: I wouldn't have any reason to hurt her. She was always on the up-and-up with me; but, that dirty little Nunheim he got sore with her cause I clicked and he didn't! And he put the finger on me!

Nick Charles: Well, this is all swell brother; but, you're peddling your fish in the wrong market. I've got nothing to do with this.

Lieutenant John Guild: Now, look here Charles I guess we're both of us going about this thing in the wrong way. Now, I don't want to get tough with you and I'm sure you don't want to get tough with me. There's just one more question I wanna ask you. Are you willing to swear to a complaint for this guy's pluggin' ya?

Nick Charles: Now, that's another one I can't answer now. Maybe it was an accident?

Nick Charles: Your guess is as good as mine, baby.

Nick Charles: From now on they're going to think that every thin man with white hair is Wynant.

Nora Charles: Back to California, huh?

Nick Charles: My soul woman, I give you three murders and you're still not satisfied.

Nick Charles: Whoever killed him was counting on one thing: that skeletons all look alike.

Nick Charles: I want to lie low until I get the whole dope. I'm not gonna go off half-cocked.

Nick Charles: Have you got a nice evening gown?

Nora Charles: Yes, I've got a Lulu. Why?

Nick Charles: Morelli, you knew Julia. Was she gypping Wynant?

Morelli: She don't say she is but I figure she is.

Nick Charles: Why do you say that?

Morelli: Well, once I wanted five grand. She give to me like that. Cash.

Nora Charles: Is this true?

Nick Charles: I don't know.

Nora Charles: Then, why are you saying it?

Nick Charles: Its the only way it makes sense.

Tommy: [Toasting] Here's to you two.

Nick Charles: And here's to you two too.

[Hears the sound of a train whistle]

Nick Charles: Why the rat! He can't top us!

Dorothy: No!

Tommy, Nick Charles, Dorothy, Nora Charles: To-Toooooooo!

Nick Charles: [replying to inquiry as to what he knows] I don't know anything, I've been in California for the last four years.

Nick Charles: Come on, let's get something to eat. I'm thirsty.

Nick Charles: You see, when it comes to words like that, an illiterate person...

Polly Byrnes: Whaddaya mean "illiterate"? My father and mother were married right here in the city hall!

Nick Charles: [Leans toward Nora] Having a good time, Mrs. Charles?

Nora Charles: It couldn't be better.

Nora Charles: Are you packing?

Nick Charles: Yes dear, I'm putting away this liquor.

Nick Charles: Have you made any New Year's resolutions?

Nora Charles: Not yet. Any complaints or suggestions?

Nick Charles: A few.

Nora Charles: Which?

Nick Charles: Complaints.

Nora Charles: All right shoot.

Nick Charles: Well, you don't scold, you don't nag, and you look far too pretty in the mornings.

Nora Charles: All right, I'll remember: must scold, must nag, mustn't be too pretty in the mornings.

'Dancer', Lichee Club Owner: Have you ever been thrown out of a place, Mr. Charles?

Nick Charles: Let's see. How many was it up to yesterday, Mrs. Charles?

Nora Charles: Well, uh, how many places were you in, Mr. Charles?

Nick Charles: How do you do? I'd like to get this gal out of the woman's tank.

Prison Matron: Oh, yes. Is this the one that was doing the fan dance?

Nick Charles: Fan dance?

Prison Matron: Yes.

Nick Charles: Well, if it is, she's been holding out on me.

Nora Charles: I love to watch you sleep. You look so cute. Nicky, have you any pictures of yourself taken as a baby?

Nick Charles: No.

Nora Charles: Aww, that's a shame. I want to see what you looked like.

Nick Charles: I'll have some taken in the morning.

Nick Charles: Who was that?

Nora Charles: Oh, you wouldn't know them, darling. They're respectable.

Lum Kee, Lichee Club Co-Owner: You bet you. You catch my brother. You play trick on him.

Nick Charles: No play trick on him, no catch him. You bet you. Is he still in?

Lum Kee, Lichee Club Co-Owner: You bet you. For five years more.

Nora Charles: Do you think she'll really take him home?

Nick Charles: She'll take him somewhere, I'm sure of that.

Nora Charles: What do you mean?

Nick Charles: I mean, did I ever tell you that you're the most fascinating woman this side of the Rockies?

Nora Charles: Wait till you see me on the other side.

Nora Charles: I suppose we ought to decide where we're going.

Nick Charles: Why, do you care?

Nora Charles: No, but I haven't any clothes.

Nick Charles: Well, what's the difference? Saves you the trouble of packing. And I don't need anything in the world, darling, but you... and a toothbrush.

Henry the Butler: [Elderly butler has an eccentric way of walking] Walk this way, Sir.

Nick Charles: Well, I'll try.

Nick Charles: Hello, Dancer. Come in, come in.

'Dancer', Lichee Club Owner: Once a gumheel, always a gumheel, huh? Well, I don't like gumheels, but I thought you'd quit it when you married a pot of money.

Nora Charles: Did he call me a pot?

Polly Byrnes: Say, is that Mrs. Landis?

Nick Charles: Yep, want to meet her?

Polly Byrnes: No thanks, I've had enough of this family.

Nick Charles: Good morning!

Lieutenant Abrams, San Francisco Homicide Squad: Good evening.

Nick Charles: Uh, yes, good evening. Will you have some breakfast?

Lieutenant Abrams, San Francisco Homicide Squad: Thanks, I just had dinner.

Nick Charles: I give up.

Nora Charles: Aunt Katherine wants to speak to you.

Nick Charles: What have I done now?

Nora Charles: Do you know why Robert wasn't here tonight?

Nick Charles: Sure, because he's smart.

Nora Charles: I'm not fooling, darling, he's disappeared.

Nick Charles: That's swell. Now if we could just get Aunt Katherine to disappear...

Nick Charles: Nora, darling, sugar, Happy New Year!

Nora Charles: Nicky, you're bleeding.

Nick Charles: Hmm? Oh, yes, yes. I little accident.

Nora Charles: [Nora uses a handkerchief to wipe off the lipstick from Nick's face] I know, this New Year's traffic is terrible, isn't it?

Nick Charles: Harold? We want to go someplace and get the taste of respectibility out of our mouths.

Harold: OK, Nick.

Nick Charles: Family dinner I suppose. Aunt Katherine, Uncle Willie, Cousin Emily

Nora Charles: Aunt Hattie, Cousin Lucius, Uncle Thomas. Pour me one too

[first lines]

Nora Charles: [on a train] Nickie! Nickie! What are you doing?

Nick Charles: [shaving] Just practicing, dear. Will you have a little slice of throat?

Nick Charles: [In a Sunset Limited sleeping car] Darling, don't you want to pack this?

[Hands Nora her silk negligee]

Nora Charles: How they can expect a woman to still have any mystery left for a man after living in a place like this for three days, I don't know.

Nick Charles: Darling, you don't need mystery. You've got something much better. Something more alluring.

Nora Charles: What?

Nick Charles: Me.

Nora Charles: You?

Reporter #1: Are you gonna keep on with your detective work then?

Nick Charles: I retired. I'm just going to take care of my wife's money, so I'll have something in my old age.

Reporter #2: You said you'd retired in New York; but, I noticed you took that Thin Man case.

Reporter #3: Oh, that Thin Man was a beaut! They're still talking about it.

Reporter #1: Pick us up another Thin Man, will ya Nick?

Nick Charles: Oh, you got ideas, huh?

Nora Charles: Very definite ideas.

Nick Charles: I was afraid so.

Nora Charles: I'm going to lock the door, plug the bell, cut the telephone and crawl into bed for a month!

Nick Charles: Oh, Nora, you're my favorite woman.

Nora Charles: [Talking on the phone to her Aunt] You see, it's New Year's Eve, Aunt Katherine.

Nick Charles: The old battle axe.

Nora Charles: Shut up! Excuse me, Aunt Katherine, I was talking to the dog.

Nora Charles: Come on, darling, it will be like old times - when we were all engaged.

Nick Charles: Yes, before we made any mistakes.

David: Poor girl, it's bad enough with Aunt Katherine and Robert. Now she's got that Dr. Kammer.

Nick Charles: Who's Dr. Kammer?

David: Oh, I don't know? He's some nut psychologist. He sits around and talks about her dreams by the hour. I get the creeps every time I look at him.

Nick Charles: What have you got to offer Harold?

Harold: There's Tim McCrumb's place and there's the Lichee and there's the Tenderfin.

Nora Charles: Is the Lichee a Chinese restaurant?

Harold: Yessim.

Nick Charles: Me no lookie for Robert.

Nora Charles: The Lichee.

Nick Charles: All right, Dancer, if you insist. It's mighty white of you.

Joe: Champagne, boys.

Thug with Joe at Nick's Table: Me too.

Nick Charles: Sure, Champagne! Willie?

Willie the Weeper: Scotch - with a Champagne chaser.

Nora Charles: Likewise.

'Dancer', Lichee Club Owner: So, a guy comes in and buys a drink. He goes out and somebody kills him. What are we supposed to do? Give the customers insurance with the drinks?

Nick Charles: Not a bad idea.

Nick Charles: Who ever remembers a gardener unless he squirts a hose at you?

Nick Charles: You're Dancer's girl, aren't you?

Polly Byrnes: I work for him.

Lieutenant Abrams, San Francisco Homicide Squad: That's not what he asked you.

Polly Byrnes: Well, we got a understanding.

Nick Charles: Polly, Phil had a key to your apartment, hadn't he?

Polly Byrnes: Yeah.

Nick Charles: And so had Dancer?

Polly Byrnes: Yeah!

Nick Charles: What about Lum?

Polly Byrnes: No, of course not!

Nick Charles: Why did you go to his place?

'Dancer', Lichee Club Owner: Because I thought he'd gummed my game.

Nick Charles: With these earphones, Anderson could hear everything that went on down in your place.

Polly Byrnes: Everything?

Nick Charles: Everything.

Polly Byrnes: Holy Smoke!

Nick Charles: Nice work Lum.

Nora Charles: And you sent his brother up.

Lum Kee, Lichee Club Co-Owner: Sure. Mr. Charles sent him up. Number one detective. I don't like my brother. I like his girl. I'm your friend. You betcha!

Lum Kee, Lichee Club Co-Owner: You betchu. You ketch my brother. You play trick on him.

Nick Charles: No play trick on him, no catch him. You betchu. Is he still in?

Lum Kee, Lichee Club Co-Owner: You betchu. For five year more.

Nick Charles: If the party gets rough, duck.

Nora Charles: I'm practically under the table now, but not the way I like to be.

Nick Charles: I got a great idea.

Nora Charles: What is it?

Nick Charles: Let's go home.

Nora Charles: What's at home?

Nick Charles: You, my pipe, my slippers.

Nora Charles: Nickie, you're slipping.

Nick Charles: Darling, give me my pipe, slippers & a beautiful woman... and you can keep the pipe and slippers.

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: [utters impenetrable stream of jazz-cat hipster argot]

Nick Charles: Mrs. Charles always wears her mouth open with this outfit.

Nora Charles: [about Phyllis Talbin] Stunning jewelry. Those earrings...

Nick Charles: [looking off in the direction of Phyllis] Very attractive!

Nora Charles: Earrings are higher up.

Mug #1: Gee, we sure get a gentrier plateau with these charity shindigs.

Mug #2: Especially the dames. What class! What refinement! What cultured tomatoes! Hey, get a load of that one. Yoo-hoo!

Nick Charles: [Turns around to face the mugs] Boys, boys, in polite society, we don't say, Yoo-hoo. We say Yoo-whom.

Mug #1: Nick, hi!

Mug #2: Hi!

Nick Charles: You remember Mrs. Charles.

Mug #1: Hi!

Mug #2: Hi!

Nora Charles: You took the words right out of my mouth.

Mug #1: Whatchu doin' at a clambake like this? You ain't detectivin', are ya?

Nick Charles: Mrs. Charles thinks that we should cultivate some people who haven't served time.

Nick Charles: You shouldn't have talked that way to my friends. They're very sensitive.

Nora Charles: I didn't mean to hurt them. I love them. They're perfect gentlemen - right down to their fingerprints.

Nick Charles Jr.: I knew Roy shouldn't have trusted that Arsenic Annie. She's a man dressed in woman's clothes.

Nick Charles: Annie's a man?

Nick Charles Jr.: Sure. It's a dead giveaway a dame would never pass a mirror like that without looking to see if her slip was showing.

Nora Charles: Dame?

Nick Charles Jr.: Well, that's what Daddy always says.

Nick Charles: I never say dame. I always say doll - eh, dish. Well, anyway, it was a very shrewd deduction.

Nora Charles: Nicky, the police do make mistakes!

Nick Charles: Yes, there's a cheerful thought. Just what I've been thinking.

Nora Charles: Of course, if you were on the case...

Nora Charles, Nick Charles: there would be no mistake.

Nick Charles: You're positively sadistic the way you drag me to work.

Italian Boatman: Hey, you, get out of the boat.

Nick Charles: Who are you?

Italian Boatman: Get out of my boat, that's who I am.

Nick Charles: Look, how'd you like to make yourself a quick five dollars?

Italian Boatman: Get into the boat.

Nick Charles: I just want you to row me out to that gambling ship.

Italian Boatman: Get out of the boat.

Nick Charles: Twenty-five dollars.

Italian Boatman: Get into the boat. For twenty-five dollars, I give you the boat.

Asta, the Charles' Dog: [Sniffing on the floor, while Nick searches for clues] Arrr. Arrrrrrrrrr.

Nick Charles: What's the excitement boy? Huh? It's just a razor blade. No. No, it couldn't have been Somerset Maugham.

Nick Charles: Where can I find this whacked-up character?

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: Oh, he's been boucin' around from place-to-place, lately. You'll probably dig him in one of the jam joints.

Nick Charles: Come again?

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: Dig him in one of the jam joints! Where the boys go after closin' and really ride. Just for cats and intellectuals. The rooty-toots and bobbie soxers verboten. Solid.

Nick Charles: Well, I don't wear bobbie soxes; but, would you say I'm a rooty-toot?

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: Strictly. But, I guess I can ace you in.

Nick Charles: Shall we go?

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: Go? Oh, oh, the dust don't start risin' till deuce of bells.

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: No, no, no, no, no. Swinging the classics is strictly off the cars.

Nick Charles: Taxi!

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: A gate who knows his Dodge, takes his Beethoven and his Brahms straight. You know what I mean?

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: Penthouse, you know. These Talbin jams are the tops! But, it's like I told you, strictly for gates and gutbusters. Hey, I tell you what, you're a slush pump man.

Nick Charles: Come again?

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: Da-da-da-da! Strictly from Memphis. And you, you're a canary. Strictly from Memphis.

Nora Charles: Canary?

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: Well, I could say you pluck a hot harp.

Nora Charles: If Mr. Charles doesn't find that receipt, he'll be plucking a harp.

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: I want you to meet a couple of friends of mine. Mellow Man Magee and the Missus. Hottest pump man in Memphis.

Nick Charles: Second hottest.

Mitchell Talbin: Do you play an instrument too?

Nora Charles: No, I'm a mud hen, eh, a bird, a canary.

Mitchell Talbin: A canary?

Nora Charles: Strictly from Tennessee!

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: Ooo, dig that music. It sends me outta this world!

Nick Charles: It should have sent you a little sooner.

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: Yeah!

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: It's Fran! Fran Page, Hollis' old flame.

Nick Charles: Unless I got my photographs mixed, she had a fire left over for Mr. Drake too.

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: Yeah, the 88 man grabbed her off and then he give her the Fuller.

Nick Charles: The Fuller?

Nora Charles: The brush. The brush.

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: Fran, this is Mr. and Mrs. Nick Charles.

Nick Charles: How do you do? Well, you were a, you were very jivie, a hep warbler.

Nora Charles: Mr. Charles is a bit of a shom.

Nick Charles: Cracked minds play funny tricks on you. And, by the same token, you can play funny tricks on cracked minds.

Nick Charles: The prettier the bait, the better the catch.

Clarence 'Clinker' Krause: Come again?

Nick Charles: That's an old saying I just made up.

Nora Charles: What do you get out of it?

Nick Charles: A sudden urge to merge.

Nick Charles: You wouldn't advance him the twelve thousand? Even though you knew Amboy was preparing a cement kimono for him?

Nora Charles: Are you through with crime?

Nick Charles: No, I'm going to bed.

Nora Charles: How did you know I was here?

Nick Charles: I saw a great group of men standing around a table. I knew there was only one woman in the world who could attract men like that. A woman with a lot of money.

Nora Charles: [Reading phone messages] Here's another one of those "Call Long Island Operator #15." Don't you think you ought to call her?

Nick Charles: Certainly not; she knows better than that! I told her I was bringing the wife along this time.

Nora Charles: I don't know why I always take it for granted that you're kidding.

Nora Charles: I got rid of all those reporters.

Nick Charles: What did you tell them?

Nora Charles: I told them we were out of scotch.

Nick Charles: What a gruesome thought!

Barney - MacFay's Bodyguard: What's the idea of the kid?

Nick Charles: Well, we have a dog, and he was lonesome. That was the idea, wasn't it, Mummy?

Nora Charles: [Talking on the phone] Oh, we had a lovely trip. Nick was sober in Kansas City.

Nick Charles: [Talking to a stuffed Panda bear] That's a very bitter woman.

'Creeps' Binder: Nick sent me up the river.

Nora Charles: It's nice you don't feel bad about it.

'Creeps' Binder: Why should I? Gee! It took a genius to outsmart me.

Nick Charles: You wanna touch me?

Nora Charles: Really, Creeps, you shouldn't run him down like that.

Policeman with flashlight: We're going to have to shoot that mutt. We'll never find him like this.

Nick Charles: Wait a minute. He's not going to come running up to a lot of strange men with lights. What do you think he is? A moth?

Colonel MacFay: He wants a lot of money. And when you won't give it to him, he says you won't be pigheaded, because he dreamed twice about your dying. And the third time he dreams things, they come true. Now, what do you think?

Nick Charles: I wouldn't think I have to hurry up my dying on his account.

Nick Charles: You won't be alone long. Wait till the news of your 5 millions hits the front pages. You'll find you've got relatives all over the world.

[last lines]

Nick Charles: Let's sit down.

Nora Charles: Sit down? What for?

Nick Charles: Just to get a little rest after our quiet weekend in the country.

Nick Charles: Now you know why I retired. Good luck.

Van Slack: You're not walking out on me, are you?

Nick Charles: I'm not walking out, I'm running out. Mind you, if there were any reasonable chance of me to help you, it would be different. But, during this quiet little weekend in the country, my family's been threatened, I've had a knife thrown at me, I've been shot at, and I've been suspected of murder. From now no, this is your case. You can handle it. I'm going back to New York!

[to their waiter]

Nick Charles: Two Bacardis.

Nora Charles: The same.

Dudley Horn: That's a mean way to die.

Nick Charles: Do you know any good ways?

Detective: What were you shooting at him for?

Nick Charles: I wasn't shooting at him. He was shooting at me. Why were you shooting at him?

Detective: Well, everybody else was.

Nick Charles: Thanks for not shooting me.

Smitty: Oh, well that'd only of made things worse.

Nora Charles: You're suspicious of everything.

Nick Charles: Well, I hate to wake up some morning and find the fortune I married you for was gone.

Nick Charles: You know, she wouldn't be a bad looker if she took her specs off.

Nora Charles: I'll speak to her.

Nick Charles: Oh, don't get her hopes up.

Mrs. Bellam: I heard the noise.

Dudley Horn: MacFay's been murdered.

Mrs. Bellam: Well, we all have to go some day. Shall I call the Sheriff?

Nick Charles: Yes.

Nick Charles: You didn't have a heavy set man with thick glasses watching Church?

Van Slack: No.

Nick Charles: No, I thought not. I'd never seen a country cop with a six thousand dollar coupé before.

Lois MacFay: Do you think the police are going to be enough or should...

Dudley Horn: I should say they were more than enough!

Nick Charles: Son, you better take a bromide.

Lois MacFay: You're shaking like a leaf.

Nick Charles: There goes Dum-Dum.

West Indies Club Headwaiter: You are alone?

Nick Charles: The good are often alone.

West Indies Club Headwaiter: I fix it so you will not be good long.

Nick Charles: Madame, how long have you been leading this double life?

Nora Charles: Just since we've been married.

Nora Charles: Give me fourteen dollars and seventy-five cents.

Nick Charles: Fourteen dollars and seventy-five cents? What for?

Nora Charles: Men.

Nick Charles: Another one?

Nick Charles: You didn't have any money until I showed up.

Nora Charles: I was doing all right. I'd have gotten it.

Nick Charles: I'd like to go in there by myself.

Nora Charles: You go everywhere alone. I'd like to have some fun too!

Nick Charles: Does she have noisy parties?

Mrs. Dolley: You know how girls are.

Nick Charles: No, how are they?

Mrs. Dolley: Oh, go on! Don't kid me.

Nick Charles: What does she look like?

Mrs. Dolley: The way she slaps that make-up on, you'd think she's an old timer. But, she don't need to. She's real pretty.

Nick Charles: Young?

Mrs. Dolley: Yeah, She's fears, she knows all all the answers. I wished I knew as much when I was her age!

Nick Charles: Oh, Linda Mills. A young girl, very pretty.

West Indies Club Drunk: That's the one. Cute lookin' doll, I guess, under all that warpaint. But, plenty tough.

Nick Charles: [Nick finds Nora at a table surrounded by a crowd of suitors] Now Mommy, you know better than to come to place like this, your first day out of bed. What if the health officers find out? They'll put you right back in quarantine.

Nora Charles: I won't stay in quarantine! I don't care who catches it.

[the suitors quickly leave]

'Spider' Webb: Hiya Nick.

Nick Charles: Hiya Spider.

'Spider' Webb: Where ya' been? How come I ain't seen ya' around?

Nick Charles: I've been around. Where you been?

'Spider' Webb: I ain't been around.

Nick Charles: No? In stir?

'Spider' Webb: I was the victim of circumstances. The D.A. framed me, not knowin' I was guilty. Ain't that a coincidence?

Nick Charles: Yeah. Spider, I want you to meet Mrs. Charles. Dear, this is Spider Webb.

'Spider' Webb: You're Nick's wife?

Nora Charles: Yeah. Ain't that a coincidence?

Nick Charles: Nicky, something tells me that something important is happening somewhere and I think we should be there.

[cut to Nora with a cocktail shaker]

Nick Charles: Well, gentlemen and ladies we have our murderer.

Nora Charles: Nicky, I can't stand it! Was it me?

Nick Charles: Mommy, he's a great kid. I'm much obliged.

Nora Charles: Oh, it was nothing. Any time.

'Link' Stephens: You're gonna see some great wrestling tonight.

Nick Charles: How do you know? Were you at the rehearsal?

[to the dog]

Nick Charles: Asta, you keep Mommy quiet.

Nick Charles Jr.: Why don't you just put down the book and read the racing form?

Nick Charles: Nicolas, you know, you're getting more like your mother every day. All right, Son-of-a-Gun is 40 to 1.

Nick Charles: Oh, honey...

Nora Charles: I'll be with you in two shakes of a cocktail.

Nick Charles: Cocktail? Cocktail? I think I'll try one of those things.

Nora Charles: Let's see if you can pick one winner for me, right now.

Nick Charles: What? A dress? Oh, sugar, winners all I pick nothing else as. Of course, here you are, right there. That's my favorite!

Nora Charles: Oh, Nicky, that's a nightgown.

Nick Charles: It's still my favorite.

Policeman: The last time I read about you, Mr. Charles, you was in New York, you was.

Nick Charles: I were? I was?

Policeman: Yes, you was.

Nora Charles: Either I'm dreaming or I've lived through this before.

Lieutenant Abrams: Funny how I meet you at all my homicides.

Nick Charles: Well, we won't be at this one long.

Lieutenant Abrams: What really worries me is that jockey.

Nick Charles: Yes. Still dead, huh?

Nick Charles: I tell you what, you go home, cold cream that lovely face, slip into an exciting negligee...

Nora Charles: Yes.

Nick Charles: And I'll see you at breakfast.

Claire Porter aka Clara Peters: You know you're really not like a detective at all, Mr. Charles. You don't pound the table or shout or threaten.

Nick Charles: I'm not really a detective. I just use that as an excuse to get out of the house at night.

Nick Charles: Why the detour?

Claire Porter aka Clara Peters: None of your business! I'm not on trial!

Nick Charles: Not yet.

Nick Charles: Don't look now, but your accent's showing.

Nick Charles: You got all the luck. What'd you do? Swallow a horseshoe?

Nora Charles: Hey, what about me? I mean us?

Nick Charles: Oh, this is a stag. Look, Mommy, you drink up some of your winnings. Ah, barkeeper, eh, bring Mrs. Charles 240 martinis, eh, we won't be long.

Nora Charles: I've heard that before. Come on, Molly.

Nick Charles: Lieutenant, I think perhaps we better have a little pow-wow in your office tomorrow.

Nick Charles: Now, Mommy, if any trouble starts, you dive right under the table. Major Sculley and I will join you there.

Nick Charles: The one thing about a murder case - is if you just let people talk long enough, sooner or later, somebody will spill the beans. Well, somebody has.

Nick Charles: I want to know something about apartment 25C. What I want to know is, how long did Rainbow Benny live in that apartment?

Greek Janitor: Oh, no long. He's move in last night at seven and he's a dead at ten.