Nice Guy Eddie Quotes in Reservoir Dogs (1992)

Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck!

Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip.

Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip?

Mr. Pink: Nah, I don't believe in it.

Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping?

Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit.

Mr. Pink: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money that she can quit.

Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you don't ever tip?

Mr. Pink: I don't tip because society says I have to. All right, if someone deserves a tip, if they really put forth an effort, I'll give them something a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job.

Mr. Blue: Hey, our girl was nice.

Mr. Pink: She was okay. She wasn't anything special.

Mr. Blue: What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick?

Nice Guy Eddie: I'd go over twelve percent for that.

Joe: This man set us up.

Nice Guy Eddie: Dad, I'm sorry, but I don't know what the hell's happening.

Joe: It's all right, Eddie. I do.

Mr. White: What the fuck are you talking about?

Joe: That lump of shit's working with the L.A.P.D.

Mr. Orange: Joe, I don't have the slightest fucking idea what you're talking about.

Mr. White: Joe, I don't know what you think you know, but you're wrong.

Joe: Like hell I am.

Mr. White: Joe, trust me on this. You've made a mistake. He's a good kid. I understand. You're hot, you're super fucking pissed. We're all real emotional. But you're barking up the wrong tree. I know this man. He wouldn't do that.

Joe: You don't know jack shit! I do! The cocksucker tipped off the cops and had Mr. Brown and Mr. Blue killed.

Mr. Pink: Mr. Blue is dead?

Joe: Dead as Dillinger.

Mr. White: How do you know all this?

[first lines]

Mr. Brown: Let me tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The entire song. It's a metaphor for big dicks.

Mr. Blonde: No, no. It's about a girl who is very vulnerable. She's been fucked over a few times. Then she meets some guy who's really sensitive...

Mr. Brown: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... Time out Greenbay. Tell that fucking bullshit to the tourists.

Joe: Toby... Who the fuck is Toby? Toby...

Mr. Brown: 'Like a Virgin' is not about this sensitive girl who meets a nice fella. That's what "True Blue" is about, now, granted, no argument about that.

Mr. Orange: Which one is 'True Blue'?

Nice Guy Eddie: 'True Blue' was a big ass hit for Madonna. I don't even follow this Tops In Pops shit, and I've at least heard of "True Blue".

Mr. Orange: Look, asshole, I didn't say I ain't heard of it. All I asked was how does it go? Excuse me for not being the world's biggest Madonna fan.

Mr. Blonde: Personally, I can do without her.

Mr. Blue: I like her early stuff. You know, 'Lucky Star', 'Borderline' - but once she got into her 'Papa Don't Preach' phase, I don't know, I tuned out.

Mr. Brown: Hey, you guys are making me lose my... train of thought here. I was saying something, what was it?

Joe: Oh, Toby was this Chinese girl, what was her last name?

Mr. White: What's that?

Joe: I found this old address book in a jacket I ain't worn in a coon's age. What was that name?

Mr. Brown: What the fuck was I talking about?

Mr. Pink: You said 'True Blue' was about a nice girl, a sensitive girl who meets a nice guy, and that 'Like a Virgin' was a metaphor for big dicks.

Mr. Brown: Lemme tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.

Mr. Blue: How many dicks is that?

Mr. White: A lot.

Mr. Brown: Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfucker and it's like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in the 'Great Escape', he's digging tunnels. Now, she's gettin' the serious dick action and she's feeling something she ain't felt since forever. Pain. Pain.

Joe: Chew? Toby Chew?

Mr. Brown: It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her, you know, her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat fucks her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a fuck machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, 'Like a Virgin'.

Joe: Wong?

Nice Guy Eddie: We got places all over the place.

Nice Guy Eddie: Alright, first things fuckin' last!

Nice Guy Eddie: [to Mr. White] Larry, stop pointin' that fuckin' gun at my Dad!

Mr. Orange: This is a very weird situation. 'Cause I don't know if you remember back in '86 there was a major fucking drought. Nobody had anything. People were living on resin... -smoking the wood in their pipes for months. This chick had a bunch. And she's begging me to sell it. So I told her I wasn't going to be Joe the potman anymore, but I would take a little bit and sell it to my close, close, close friends. She agreed to that, said we'd keep the same arrangement as before; 10%, free pot for me, as long as I helped her out that weekend. She had a brick of weed she was selling, she didn't want to go to the buy alone. Her brother usually goes with her, but he's in county unexpectedly.

Mr. White: What for?

Mr. Orange: His traffic tickets. Got a warrant. They stopped him for something, found warrants on him, took him to county. Now she doesn't walk around alone with all that weed. I don't want to do this. I have a very bad feeling about it. But she keeps asking me, keeps asking me, keeps asking me, finally I said OK 'cause I'm sick of hearing it. Now, we're picking the guy up at the train station...

Nice Guy Eddie: Wait a minute. You go to the train station to pick up the buyer with the weed on you?

Mr. Orange: The guy needed it right away. Don't ask me why. Anyway, we're get to the station and we're waiting for the guy. I'm carrying the weed in one of those little carry-on bags. I got to take a piss. So I tell the connection I'll be right back, I'm going to the boys' room. So I walk in the mens' room, and who's standing there? Four Los Angeles county sheriffs and a German shepherd.

Nice Guy Eddie: They're waiting for you?

Mr. Orange: No, they're just a bunch of cops hanging out in the men's room, talking. When I walked through the door, they all stopped what they were talking about and they looked at me.

Mr. White: [laughs] That's hard, man. That's a fucking hard situation.

Mr. Orange: German shepherd starts barking. He's barking at me. I mean, it's obvious. He's barking at me. Every nerve-ending, all my senses, blood in my veins, everything I have is screaming, "Take off, man! Just bail, just get the fuck out of there!" Panic hits me like a bucket of water. First there's the shock of it... -BAM!... -right in the face. I'm standing there drenched in panic. All these sheriffs looking at me, and they know, man. They can smell it. Sure as that fucking dog can, they can smell it on me.

Nice Guy Eddie: Let me say this out loud, 'cause I wanna get it straight in my head. You're saying that Mr. Blonde was gonna kill you, then when we got back, he was going kill us, take the satchel of diamonds, and scram. I'm right about that, right? That's correct? That's your story?

Mr. Orange: I swear on my mother's eternal soul that's what happened.

Nice Guy Eddie: The man you just killed was just released from prison. He got caught at a company warehouse full of hot items. He could've fuckin' walked. All he had to do was say my dad's name, but he didn't; he kept his fucking mouth shut. And did his fuckin' time, and he did it like a man. He did four years for us. So, Mr. Orange, you're tellin' me this very good friend of mine, who did four years for my father, who in four years never made a deal, no matter what they dangled in front of him, you're telling me that now, that now this man is free, and we're making good on our commitment to him, he's just gonna decide, out of the fucking blue, to rip us off? Why don't you tell me what really happened?

Joe: [walks in] What the hell for? It'd just be more bullshit.

Mr. White: You can't leave this guy with them.

Nice Guy Eddie: Why not?

Mr. White: Because he's a fucking psycho. And if you think Joe's pissed off, that ain't nothing compared to how pissed off I am at him, for putting me in the same room as that bastard!

Mr. Blonde: See what I've been putting up with, Eddie? I fucking walked in here, I told these guys about staying put. Mr. White whips out his gun, he's sticking it in my face, calling me a motherfucker, saying he's gonna blow me away and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Nice Guy Eddie: If you fucking beat this prick long enough, he'll tell you he started the goddamn Chicago fire, now that don't necessarily make it fucking so!

Nice Guy Eddie: Daddy, did you see that?

Joe: What?

Nice Guy Eddie: Guy got me on the ground, he tried to fuck me.

Mr. Blonde: You wish.

Nice Guy Eddie: You sick bastard, Vic. You tried to fuck me in my father's office. Look, Vic. Whatever you wanna do in the privacy of your own home, go to it. But don't try to fuck me. I mean, I don't think of you that way. I like you a lot, buddy, but I don't think of you that way.

Mr. Blonde: Listen, if I was a butt cowboy, I wouldn't even throw you to the posse.

Nice Guy Eddie: No you wouldn't, you'd keep me for yourself. You know, four years fuckin' punks up the ass, you appreciate a piece of prime rib when you see it.

Mr. Pink: We were set up. The cops were waiting for us.

Nice Guy Eddie: What? Nobody set anybody up.

Mr. Pink: The cops were there waiting for us!

Nice Guy Eddie: Bull shit!

Mr. Pink: Hey, fuck you, man! You weren't there... we were! And I'm tellin' ya, the cops had that store staked out.

Nice Guy Eddie: Okay, Mr. Fucking Detective! You're so fucking smart. Who did it? Who set us up?

Mr. Pink: What the fuck do ya think we've been askin' each other?

Nice Guy Eddie: And what are your answers? Was it me? You think I set you up?

Mr. Pink: I don't know, but somebody did!

Nice Guy Eddie: Nobody did! You assholes turn the jewelry store into a wild west show, and you wonder why the cops show up?

[Joe pulls out his gun and aims it at Mr. Orange; in response, Mr. White pulls out his gun and aims it Joe; Eddie pulls out his gun and aims it at Mr. White]

Nice Guy Eddie: Have you lost your fuckin' mind?

Mr. White: Joe, you're making a terrible mistake. I'm not gonna let you make it.

Mr. Pink: Come on, guys! Nobody wants this! We're supposed to be fucking professionals!

Nice Guy Eddie: Larry, look. It's been quite a long time. A lot of jobs. There's no need for this, man. Lets just put our guns down, and lets settle this with a fuckin' conversation.

Mr. White: [ignores Eddie, his gaze is fixed on Joe] Joe, if you kill that man, you die next. I repeat: If you kill that man, you die next.

Nice Guy Eddie: Larry, we have been friends, and you respect my dad, and I respect you, but I will put fucking bullets right through your heart. You put that fuckin' gun down, now.

Mr. White: Goddamn you, Joe. Don't make me do this.

Nice Guy Eddie: [angrily] LARRY, STOP POINTING THAT FUCKIN' GUN AT MY DAD!

[Joe shoots Mr. Orange; Mr. White shoots and kills Joe; Eddie shoots Mr. White; Mr. White quickly shoots and kills Eddie, then collapses near Mr. Orange, both of them are injured but still alive]

Nice Guy Eddie: [on the phone as he drives to the warehouse] All I know is what Vic told me. He said the place turned into a fucking bullet festival. He took a cop as hostage, just to get the fuck outta there.

[pause]

Nice Guy Eddie: Do I sound like I'm joking? He's fuckin' driving around with a cop in his trunk!

Mr. Blonde: Listen, I appreciate what, you guys are doin' for me, but I was wonderin' when I can come back and, you know, do some real work.

Joe: Well, that's hard to say, It's kind of a strange time now. Things are a little...

Nice Guy Eddie: They're a little fucked-up is what they are. Listen we got a big meetin' goin' down in Vegas right now.

Joe: Just let Eddie for now set you up in Long Beach, get you some cash, Get this Scagnetti fuck off your back, and then we can start talkin' okay? Huh?

Nice Guy Eddie: Listen daddy, I got an idea. Now just, hear me out. Now, I know you don't like usin' the boys on jobs like these, but Vic has been nothin' but good luck for us. The guy's a fuckin' rabbits foot for cryin' out loud. I'd like to have him in. You know he's reliable and you damn well know trust him.

Joe: [pause] How would you feel about pulling off a job with about five other guys?

Mr. Blonde: I'd feel great about it.

Nice Guy Eddie: Ain't that a sad sight, Daddy, the man walks in the prison a white man, walks out talkin' like a fuckin' nigger. You know what, I think it's all that black semen been pumped up your ass so far, now it's backed into your fuckin brain, and it's coming out your mouth!

Mr. Pink: Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've been here a long fucking time and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled *six* times.

Mr. Blonde: Six times. Well, what if she's too fucking busy?

Mr. Pink: The words "too fucking busy" shouldn't be in a waitress's vocabulary.

Nice Guy Eddie: Excuse me, Mr. Pink, but I think the last fucking thing you need is another cup of coffee.

Nice Guy Eddie: The chick got tired of him beatin' her so one night she walks in the guys bedroom and super glues his dick to his belly. Ambulance came and had to cut the prick loose.

Mr. White: Was he all pissed off?

Nice Guy Eddie: How would you feel if every time you had to take a piss you had to do a fuckin' hand stand?

Nice Guy Eddie: You guys should've never taken him out of the trunk.

Mr. Pink: We've been trying to find out about the setup.

Nice Guy Eddie: There is no fucking setup! Now, here's the news! Blondie, you stay here, take care of these two. White and pink, come with me, 'cause if Joe sees all these cars outside, he'll be as mad at me as he is at you!

Nice Guy Eddie: What happened to Mr. Brown and Mr. Blue?

Mr. Pink: Brown's dead. We don't know what happened to Blue.

Nice Guy Eddie: Mr. Brown's dead? Are you sure?

Mr. White: I'm sure. I was there. He took one in the head.

Nice Guy Eddie: Nobody's got a clue what happened to Mr. Blue?

Mr. Blonde: Either he's alive or he's dead. Or the cops got him or they don't.

Mr. Pink: What was the name of the chick who played Christie Love?

Nice Guy Eddie: Pam Grier.

Mr. Orange: No it wasn't Pam Grier. Pam Grier was the other one. Pam Grier did the film. Christie Love was like Pam Grier TV Show without Pam Grier.

Mr. Pink: So who was Christie Love?

Mr. Orange: How the fuck should I know?

Mr. Pink: Great. Now I'm totally fucking tortured.

Nice Guy Eddie: Yeah I'm sorry, I should have picked you up myself. This whole week has been fucked up, I've had my head up my ass the whole time.

Mr. Blonde: You know, that's funny, 'cause that's what me and your dad were just talkin' about.

Nice Guy Eddie: That I should have picked you up?

Mr. Blonde: No, that you got your head up your ass. I mean I walked in here and Joe's like, "Vic, thank god you're back. My son Eddie's a fuck-up. I mean I love the guy, but he's just flushin' everything down the toilet. He's ruining me." I mean that's what you said, right Joe? I'm not makin' this up.

Joe: I'm sorry you had to hear it like this Eddie. Vic asked me how business was, and you can't lie to a man who's done time for you.

Nice Guy Eddie: That's very true.

[he and Vic get into a wrestling contest]

Nice Guy Eddie: Alright, Mr. Fucking Compassion! I will call somebody!

Mr. White: Who?

Nice Guy Eddie: A fucking snakecharmer! What do you think? I'll call a doctor!

Nice Guy Eddie: I don't know who did what! I don't know who's got the loot. I don't know if anybody's got the loot. I don't know who's dead, who's alive, who's caught, who's not.

Off-Screen Police Officers: [From Trailer] Freeze! Put the gun down!

Joe: Here your name's. Mr. White, Mr. Blonde and Mr. Pink.

Mr. Pink: Why am I Mr. Pink?

Mr. White: Who cares what your name is.

Mr. Pink: Easy for you to say your Mr. White you got a cool sounding name.

Joe: Let's go to work.

Mr. Orange: [the men walk out as White and Orange discuss there bank plan] What happens if the Manager doesn't give you the diamonds?

Mr. White: Cut one of his fingers off the little one.

Mr. Blonde: If they haven't done what I told them not to do, they'd still be alive!

Mr. Pink: [White punches Pink to the floor] Your acting like a first year thief, i'm acting like a Professional!

Mr. White: [White in bathroom speaking to Pink] A guy like can put you in for ten years worth.

Mr. Orange: [to Sheriffs] BAM!

Mr. White: [Discussing Blonde's situation in the bank] BAM!

Mr. Blonde: [Mr. Pink shoot's at the cops] Bam, Bam, Bam, Bam!

Nice Guy Eddie: [White, Orange, Pink and Eddie in the car discussing their favorite TV series from the 70's] Your under arrest sugar!

Mr. Blonde: [after White takes Joe's book] Hey Joe, want me to shoot this guy?

Mr. White: [about Mr. Blonde] You can't leave these guys here with him.

Nice Guy Eddie: Why not?

Mr. White: 'Cause he's a fucking psycho. And if you think Joe's pissed off, that ain't nothing compared to how pissed off I am at him for putting me in the same room as that bastard!

Mr. Blonde: You see what I've been putting up with, Eddie? I fucking walked in here, told these guys about staying put; Mr. White whips out his gun, he's sticking it in my face, calling me a motherfucker, saying he's gonna blow me away, and blah blah blah blah blah.

Mr. White: He's the reason the joint turned into a shooting spree.

[to Mr. Pink]

Mr. White: What are you, a fucking silent partner? Tell him!

Mr. Pink: He went crazy in the store, but him seems all right now.