Newt Scamander Quotes in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
Newt Scamander Quotes:
Jacob Kowalski: Newt, I don't think I'm dreaming.
Newt Scamander: What gave it away?
Jacob Kowalski: I ain't got the brains to make this up.
Newt Scamander: My philosophy is if you worry, you suffer twice.
Porpentina Goldstein: You wiped his memory, right? The No-Maj.
Newt Scamander: The what?
Porpentina Goldstein: No magic. The non-wizard!
Newt Scamander: Sorry. We call them Muggles.
Newt Scamander: We're going to recapture my creatures before they get hurt. They're currently in alien terrain surrounded by millions of the most vicious creatures on the planet; humans.
Newt Scamander: [hands Jacob a helmet] Put this on.
Jacob Kowalski: But why would I have to wear something like this?
Newt Scamander: Because your skull is susceptible to breakage under immense force.
Mary Lou: Are you a seeker, a seeker of truth?
Newt Scamander: More of a chaser.
Jacob Kowalski: Did you say school? Is there a school? A wizardry school here? In America?
Queenie: Of course - Ilvermorny! It's only the best wizard school in the whole world!
Newt Scamander: I think you'll find the best wizarding school in the world is Hogwarts!
Queenie: [Incredulous and semi-insulted] *Hogwash!*
Jacob Kowalski: I'm sure people like you, too.
Newt Scamander: No, not really. I'm annoying.
Porpentina Goldstein: [Newt Scamander opens case, hears monster sounds, and closes it] Was it opened?
Newt Scamander: Just a smidge.
Newt Scamander: Merlin's beard!
Gnarlack: So you're the guy with the case full of monsters, huh?
Newt Scamander: News travels fast.
Newt Scamander: Pickett, come and give me a smile.
[Creature sticks out his tongue at him]
Newt Scamander: [When telling Tina about a creature they are tracking down] Slight problem. He's invisible.
Newt Scamander: [to Porpentina Goldstein] I wouldn't have done it without you.
Newt Scamander: New York is considerably more interesting that I expected.
Jacob Kowalski: Tell me-has anyone ever believed you when you told them not to worry?
Newt Scamander: My philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice.
Customs Official: First trip to America?
Newt Scamander: Yes.
[the creature in his suitcase opens one of its latches]
Newt Scamander: Must get that fixed.
Customs Official: Anything edible in there?
Newt Scamander: [he presses a button on the front of his suitcase which says "Muggles Worthy"] Um, no. No.
Customs Official: [the customs officer opens up Scamander's suitcase and we see it contains his clothes] Any livestock?
Customs Official: No.
Newt Scamander: [the customs officer gives Scamander a look before handing him his passport] Welcome to New York.
Newt Scamander: [to police officers] There is no reason to panic!
Newt Scamander: And try very hard not to be predictable.
Newt Scamander: I won't let another one die.
Porpentina Goldstein: Mr. Scamander, do you know anything about the wizarding community in America?
Newt Scamander: I do know a few things, actually. I know you have rather backwards laws about relations with non-magic people. That you're not meant to befriend them, that you can't marry them, which seems mildly absurd to me.
Porpentina Goldstein: And you were just in Equatorial Guinea?
Newt Scamander: I've just completed a year in the field. I'm writing a book about magical creatures.
Porpentina Goldstein: Like-an extermination guide?
Newt Scamander: No. A guide to help people understand why we should be protecting these creatures instead of killing them.
Jacob Kowalski: [about to lose his memory] It's okay... I was never even supposed to be here, I mean Newt only kept me around because... Hey, Newt, why did you keep me around?
Newt Scamander: Because I like you, Jacob. Because you're my friend.
Porpentina Goldstein: What was that?
Newt Scamander: [about something that is obviously not a moth] A moth. A big moth.
Newt Scamander: [pointing his wand at Graves] Revelio.
Newt Scamander: You're a Legilimens?
Queenie: Mmm. Yeah. But I always have trouble with your kind. Brits. It's the accent.
Newt Scamander: The locals call it the Swooping Evil.
Porpentina Goldstein: Graves always insisted the disturbances were caused by a beast. We need to catch all your creatures so he can't keep using them as a scapegoat.
Newt Scamander: There's only one still missing. Dougal, my Demiguise.
Porpentina Goldstein: [amused] Dougal?
Newt Scamander: Slight problem is that, um, he's invisible.
Porpentina Goldstein: Invisible?
Newt Scamander: Yes. Most of the time. He does, um...
Porpentina Goldstein: How do you catch something...
Newt Scamander: With immense difficulty.
Newt Scamander: I am NOT one of Grindelwald's fanatics, Mr Graves.
Newt Scamander: You can tell me to mind my business, but I saw something in that death potion back there. I saw you hugging that Second Salem boy.
Porpentina Goldstein: His name's Credence. His mother beats him. She beats all those kids she's adopted, but she seems to hate him the most.
Newt Scamander: And she was the No-Maj you attacked?
Porpentina Goldstein: That's how I lost my job. I went for her in front of a meeting of her crazy followers. They all had to be Obliviated. It was a big scandal.
Jacob Kowalski: We have a plan, right guys?
Newt Scamander: They need our help.
Newt Scamander: [whispers to his case] Dougal, you settle down now, please. It won't be long.
Mary Lou: [about Kowalski] Hes hurt! He looks ill!
Newt Scamander: He'll be fine. Murtlap bites aren't serious.
Newt Scamander: [getting concerned] I admit that is a slightly more severe reaction than I've seen, but if it was really serious, he'd have...
Mary Lou: What?
Newt Scamander: Well, the first symptom would be flames out of his anus...
Porpentina Goldstein: [Newt prepares to wipe Jacob's memory] You can't Obliviate him. We need him as a witness.
Newt Scamander: I'm sorry, you just yelled at me the length of New York for not doing it in the first place.
Newt Scamander: [Newt has captured his Niffler by using a spell that causes it to get stuck to a "jellied" window. Newt is now pulling the Niffler off the window] One down...
[unsticks the Niffler just as the "No-Maj" police arrive]
Newt Scamander: Two to go!
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