Newt Scamander Quotes in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)

Jacob Kowalski: Newt, I don't think I'm dreaming.

Newt Scamander: What gave it away?

Jacob Kowalski: I ain't got the brains to make this up.

Newt Scamander: My philosophy is if you worry, you suffer twice.

[from trailer]

Porpentina Goldstein: You wiped his memory, right? The No-Maj.

Newt Scamander: The what?

Porpentina Goldstein: No magic. The non-wizard!

Newt Scamander: Sorry. We call them Muggles.

Newt Scamander: We're going to recapture my creatures before they get hurt. They're currently in alien terrain surrounded by millions of the most vicious creatures on the planet; humans.

Newt Scamander: [hands Jacob a helmet] Put this on.

Jacob Kowalski: But why would I have to wear something like this?

Newt Scamander: Because your skull is susceptible to breakage under immense force.

Mary Lou: Are you a seeker, a seeker of truth?

Newt Scamander: More of a chaser.

Jacob Kowalski: Did you say school? Is there a school? A wizardry school here? In America?

Queenie: Of course - Ilvermorny! It's only the best wizard school in the whole world!

Newt Scamander: I think you'll find the best wizarding school in the world is Hogwarts!

Queenie: [Incredulous and semi-insulted] *Hogwash!*

Jacob Kowalski: I'm sure people like you, too.

Newt Scamander: No, not really. I'm annoying.

Porpentina Goldstein: [Newt Scamander opens case, hears monster sounds, and closes it] Was it opened?

Newt Scamander: Just a smidge.

Newt Scamander: Merlin's beard!

[from trailer]

Gnarlack: So you're the guy with the case full of monsters, huh?

Newt Scamander: News travels fast.

Newt Scamander: Pickett, come and give me a smile.

[Creature sticks out his tongue at him]

Newt Scamander: [When telling Tina about a creature they are tracking down] Slight problem. He's invisible.

Newt Scamander: [to Porpentina Goldstein] I wouldn't have done it without you.

Newt Scamander: New York is considerably more interesting that I expected.

Jacob Kowalski: Tell me-has anyone ever believed you when you told them not to worry?

Newt Scamander: My philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice.

Customs Official: First trip to America?

Newt Scamander: Yes.

[the creature in his suitcase opens one of its latches]

Newt Scamander: Must get that fixed.

Customs Official: Anything edible in there?

Newt Scamander: [he presses a button on the front of his suitcase which says "Muggles Worthy"] Um, no. No.

Customs Official: [the customs officer opens up Scamander's suitcase and we see it contains his clothes] Any livestock?

Customs Official: No.

Newt Scamander: [the customs officer gives Scamander a look before handing him his passport] Welcome to New York.

Newt Scamander: [to police officers] There is no reason to panic!

[monsters appear]

Newt Scamander: And try very hard not to be predictable.

Newt Scamander: I won't let another one die.

Porpentina Goldstein: Mr. Scamander, do you know anything about the wizarding community in America?

Newt Scamander: I do know a few things, actually. I know you have rather backwards laws about relations with non-magic people. That you're not meant to befriend them, that you can't marry them, which seems mildly absurd to me.

Porpentina Goldstein: And you were just in Equatorial Guinea?

Newt Scamander: I've just completed a year in the field. I'm writing a book about magical creatures.

Porpentina Goldstein: Like-an extermination guide?

Newt Scamander: No. A guide to help people understand why we should be protecting these creatures instead of killing them.

Jacob Kowalski: [about to lose his memory] It's okay... I was never even supposed to be here, I mean Newt only kept me around because... Hey, Newt, why did you keep me around?

Newt Scamander: Because I like you, Jacob. Because you're my friend.

Porpentina Goldstein: What was that?

Newt Scamander: [about something that is obviously not a moth] A moth. A big moth.

Newt Scamander: [pointing his wand at Graves] Revelio.

Newt Scamander: You're a Legilimens?

Queenie: Mmm. Yeah. But I always have trouble with your kind. Brits. It's the accent.

Newt Scamander: The locals call it the Swooping Evil.

Porpentina Goldstein: Graves always insisted the disturbances were caused by a beast. We need to catch all your creatures so he can't keep using them as a scapegoat.

Newt Scamander: There's only one still missing. Dougal, my Demiguise.

Porpentina Goldstein: [amused] Dougal?

Newt Scamander: Slight problem is that, um, he's invisible.

Porpentina Goldstein: Invisible?

Newt Scamander: Yes. Most of the time. He does, um...

Porpentina Goldstein: How do you catch something...

Newt Scamander: With immense difficulty.

Newt Scamander: I am NOT one of Grindelwald's fanatics, Mr Graves.

Newt Scamander: You can tell me to mind my business, but I saw something in that death potion back there. I saw you hugging that Second Salem boy.

Porpentina Goldstein: His name's Credence. His mother beats him. She beats all those kids she's adopted, but she seems to hate him the most.

Newt Scamander: And she was the No-Maj you attacked?

Porpentina Goldstein: That's how I lost my job. I went for her in front of a meeting of her crazy followers. They all had to be Obliviated. It was a big scandal.

Jacob Kowalski: We have a plan, right guys?

Newt Scamander: They need our help.

[first lines]

Newt Scamander: [whispers to his case] Dougal, you settle down now, please. It won't be long.

Mary Lou: [about Kowalski] Hes hurt! He looks ill!

Newt Scamander: He'll be fine. Murtlap bites aren't serious.

Newt Scamander: [getting concerned] I admit that is a slightly more severe reaction than I've seen, but if it was really serious, he'd have...

Mary Lou: What?

Newt Scamander: Well, the first symptom would be flames out of his anus...

Porpentina Goldstein: [Newt prepares to wipe Jacob's memory] You can't Obliviate him. We need him as a witness.

Newt Scamander: I'm sorry, you just yelled at me the length of New York for not doing it in the first place.

Newt Scamander: [Newt has captured his Niffler by using a spell that causes it to get stuck to a "jellied" window. Newt is now pulling the Niffler off the window] One down...

[unsticks the Niffler just as the "No-Maj" police arrive]

Newt Scamander: Two to go!