News Editor Quotes in The Great Muppet Caper (1981)

Fozzie: [pleading] We'll do better next time.

News Editor: Next time? Next time!

[pounds fist into desk]

News Editor: What makes you think there's gonna be a next time?

Kermit: Well, if there isn't it's gonna be a real short movie.

Gonzo: Stop the presses!

News Editor: Why? What happened?

Gonzo: I don't know. I just always wanted to say that.

News Editor: How could you miss a story like *that?* It was right under your noses, practically bit you on the seat of your pants! There's just no excuse!

Fozzie: I guess this would be a bad time to ask for a raise?

News Editor: A *raise?* A *RAISE?* Oh, I'll give you a raise, all right!

[Bangs his desk, sending them all flying]

News Editor: Did you read these headlines? Huh?

[reads newspaper]

News Editor: "JEWEL HEIST ON MAIN STREET!" And it's nice bold print, isn't it?

Kermit: Yes, it's very easy to read.

News Editor: Shut up now.

Kermit: [sheepish] Sorry.

News Editor: "Lady Holiday's Jewels Stolen," that's what it says in The Times. And here's The Herald, "Fashion Queen Of London Robbed." And last, but not least

[chuckles]

News Editor: here's our cute little banner story, "Identical Twins Join The Chronicle Staff." Now I ask you, which would you buy?

Fozzie: I read the one that has "Dear Abby".

News Editor: OH!

[News Editor pounds fist into desk in frustration, causing Gonzo to jump with fright up to a light fixture]