Ned Land Quotes in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954)

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Ned Land Quotes:

  • Captain Nemo: Eat your pudding, Mr. Land.

    Ned Land: I ain't sure it's puddin'.

  • Ned Land: There's one thing you ought to know, Professor: Nemo's cracked. I've yet to see the day you can make a deal with a mad dog. So while you're feeding him sugar, I'll be figuring a plan to muzzle him.

  • Ned Land: [singing] Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads, a whale of a tale or two, 'bout the floppin' fish and the girls I've loved on nights like this with the moon above. A whale of a tale and it's all true, I swear by my tattoo. There was Mermaid Minnie; met her down in Madagascar. She would kiss me anytime that I would ask her. Then one evening, her flame of love blew out. Blow me down and pick me up, she swapped me for a trout!

  • Ned Land: [singing] Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads, a whale of a tale or two, 'bout the floppin' fish and the girls I've loved on nights like this with the moon above. A whale of a tale and it's all true, I swear by my tattoo. There was Typhoon Tessie; met her on the coast of Java. When we kissed, I bubbled up like molten lava. Then she gave me the scare of my young life. Blow me down and pick me up, she was the captain's wife!

  • Captain Nemo: [Noticing that Ned is eating with his knife] There's a fork on your left, Mr. Land. Or aren't you accustomed to utensils?

    Ned Land: Oh, I'm indifferent to 'em.

  • [Ned cautiously samples his "pudding"]

    Ned Land: What is it?

    Captain Nemo: It's my own recipe: sauté of unborn octopus.

  • Ned Land: [watching Nemo's bomb explode] There she blows.

  • Captain Nemo: Mr. Land, you saved my life. Why?

    Ned Land: That's a good question. Well, there's only one thing a fella can do when he's made a mistake as big as this.

    Conseil: What?

    Ned Land: Get drunk!

  • [Donning diving gear]

    Ned Land: Fine way to go huntin'. I knew there'd be a catch to this.

    Conseil: Seems you can't do anything on this boat without getting wet.

    Ned Land: Hey, I feel like I'm keepin' a fish outta work.

  • Conseil: I want to escape, too! You said you had a plan.

    Ned Land: I do have a plan. Trouble is, it won't work.

  • Conseil: All those men. They didn't even have a chance.

    Ned Land: They were sailors, same as me. Slaughtered by that monster you're trying to make friends with.

    Conseil: Ned, don't...

    Ned Land: I don't know about you, Professor, but I feel like a knife that's just stabbed a friend in the back.

  • Conseil: Cannibals! Hundreds of cannibals! Captain, Captain, scores of boats!

    Ned Land: Captain, we're under attack!

    Captain Nemo: Naturally, since you invaded their privacy, they have every right to invade ours.

  • Conseil: Don't forget the cannibals.

    Ned Land: Oh, belay the cannibals. He said that to scare us.

  • [last lines]

    Ned Land: [as Vulcania explodes] Sorry I had to wallop you, Professor. But there wasn't time to stop for souvenirs.

    Prof. Pierre Arronax: Perhaps you did mankind a service, Ned.

Browse more character quotes from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954)

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