Nathan Arizona Sr. Quotes in Raising Arizona (1987)

Nathan Arizona Sr.: You want that $25,000 reward, you go ahead and claim it. What's there to talk about?

Leonard Smalls: Price. A fair price. That's not what you say it is, and it's not what I say it is... It's what the market will bear. Now there's people - and I know 'em - who'll pay a lot more than $25,000 for a healthy baby. Why, I myself fetched $30,000 on the black market. And that was in 1954 dollars.

Nathan Arizona Sr.: If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass a- hoppin'. Look, it is exactly 8:45 in the PM. I'll be down at that store in exactly 12 hours to kick me some butt. Or my name ain't Nathan Arizona!

Policeman in Arizona house: What did the pyjamas look like?

Nathan Arizona Sr.: I don't know - they were jammies! They had Yodas 'n' shit on 'em!

FBI Agent: Sir, we discovered you were born Nathan Huffheins.

Nathan Arizona Sr.: Yeah, I changed my name. What of it?

FBI Agent: Can you give us an indication why?

Nathan Arizona Sr.: Would you shop at a store called Unpainted Huffheins?

H.I.: I think the wife and me are splitting up. Her point is that were both kind of selfish and unrealistic, so we're not really good for each other.

Nathan Arizona Sr.: Well, ma'am, I don't know much, but I do know human beings. You brought back my boy, so you must have your good points, too. I sure hate to think of Florence leaving me. I do love her so. You can go out the way you came in. Oh, and before you do another foolish thing like busting up, I suggest you sleep on it. At least for one night.

Nathan Arizona Sr.: Eight hundred leaf-tables and no chairs? You can't sell leaf-tables and no chairs. Chairs, you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got dick!

Nathan Arizona Sr.: Dammit, are you boys gonna chase down your leads or are you gonna sit drinkin' coffee in the one house in the state where I know my boy ain't at?

Nathan Arizona Sr.: You know what I think? I think you're an evil man. I think this is a shakedown. It's nothing but a Goddamn screw-job. I think you took Nathan Jr.

[reaches for telephone]

Nathan Arizona Sr.: And you, my fine friend, are the one who's gonna get his butt kicked.

[Turns around, then turns back to find Smalls had gone]

Nathan Arizona Sr.: All right, boy, I guess you got a reward coming. Twenty-five thousand dollars. Or, if you need home furnishings, I can give you a line of credit at any of my stores. In fact, that's the way I'd rather handle it. Tax reasons.

Ed McDonnough: We don't want no reward. We didn't bring him back for money.

Nathan Arizona Sr.: We can work it that way, too!

Policeman: Do you have any disgruntled employees?

Nathan Arizona Sr.: Hell, they're all disgruntled. I ain't running no damn daisy farm. My motto is "Do it my way or watch your butt!"

Policeman: Well, do you think any of them could've done it?

Nathan Arizona Sr.: Oh, don't make me laugh. Without my say-so they wouldn't piss with their pants on fire.

Nathan Arizona Sr.: I got the cops and the Federal BI out there lookin' for my boy...

Leonard Smalls: Cops won't find your boy. A cop couldn't find his butt if it had a bell on it.

Nathan Arizona Sr.: If you're looking for furniture or a shitbox, out there is the sales floor.

Leonard Smalls: I'm not a customer. I'm a manhunter. But I do hunt babies on occasion. I heard tell you got one you can't put your hand to.

Nathan Arizona Sr.: How do you know about that?

Leonard Smalls: That's my job. I'm a tracker. Some say part hound dog.

Nathan Arizona Sr.: That's your forte, ain't it? Chasing down crooks and Commies and shit. That's your whole God-damn raison d'etre, ain't it?

Reporter: Mr. Arizona, do you have any messages for the kidnappers?

Nathan Arizona Sr.: Yeah: Watch your butts.