Nate Johnson Quotes in Johnson Family Vacation (2004)

Nate Johnson: [DJ sees Nate's griddle and tries to sneakily get a piece, Nate catches him and hits his hand] oh no! don't even think about it

D.J. Johnson: Dang dad!

Nate Johnson: [takes the griddle and starts eating it] Man what would i do without my Mike Tyson Griddle, tastes so good it'll bite cha back

Nate Johnson: [Nate walks through the hotel lobby naked, and runs into a white family] Hey, Don Judy. How you guys doing? It's a fine evening. Hey, why don't you get rid of the clothes and the kids? We're all playing butt-naked uno up in 304.

Glorietta Johnson: We gon' let Mack and Nate pray, uh see which one of 'em was paying more attention in sunday school

Mack Johnson: well, well i guess since i'm the oldest i go first

Nate Johnson: fine, alright everyone uh, bow your heads and close your ears

Mack Johnson: yo eyes, err'ybody close yo eyes, Gracious God, I come to you as humbly as i know how, Praising you and giving you thanks, for bringing us together yet another year,helpin us come together to help celebrate my victory, and Nate's agony of defeat, let us eat

Nate Johnson: Father God we thank you for allowing us to come together and share with one another, Father we know that you created the birds that fly and gave the dog the voice to bark

[arrf, Nate barks]

Nate Johnson: , But you wouldn't have to create the sun if you knew that Mack was gon' be sittin over there in that bright yellow shirt lookin all sunny side up like a rootie tootie, fresh and fruity

Mack Johnson: Oh Lord, Lord, Lord, We Father God, also realize that you are the creator of earth and heaven, moon and the stars, dats how I know ain't no way you had nuttin to do with creating that tacky, gangsta lookin wheel spinning SUV, that uncle Earl had to drag outta here

Nate Johnson: [interrupting Mack] hol' hol' hold on Father, Hold up wait a minute, what about the time you put the pepto bismol in the cool aid, and errybody had diorrhoea for the summer, don't let me have to mention that to momma

Mack Johnson: [interrrupting Nate] hold' on, what about the time that you burned down all the bushes round the house, cuz you got tired of goin outside and gettin yo own switch

Nate Johnson: [interrupting Mack] AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH,FAAAAAAATHHHHERRRRRR AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAHA, need i have to remind Mack while momma standin here that uh, he the one that had Nannette Green in the backroom and was doin the nasty on momma good quilt, and thats why she couldn't get them stains off it

Glorietta Johnson: [interruptting Mack] In Jesus name, lets eat

Mack Johnson: But Momma

Glorietta Johnson: [interrupting Mack] Nah uh

Mack Johnson: But Momma look

Glorietta Johnson: Y'all jus got through praying, don't let me cuss up in here

Nate Johnson: Memba it was that lamp head I broke

Glorietta Johnson: [interrupting Mack and Nate] uhh uh ,I got all the stories now, it's great

Nate Johnson: Nikki, this better be FTD, cuz this Russian tail is old enough to be yo' grandaddy

Nikki Johnson: Not mom's big daddy

Nate Johnson: So, Where did you meet him? at so called accounting class?

Dorothy Johnson: so that's what this all about huh? me becomming a CPA?i thought we settled that argument when i moved out

Nate Johnson: oh so i'm the bad guy? because i wanted you to raise our kids

Dorothy Johnson: I can be a wife, a mother and pursue my career too, hey, my mother did it

Nate Johnson: [laughs] rite,yeah thats why the last time we saw you brother he was your sister

[starts to sing]

Nate Johnson: Young man there's a place you can go

Nate Johnson: You know son,the only reason i'm hard on you is well because one day you'll wear the pants in your own family, people will depend on you, and how can they do that if your pants are all hanging of your behind? I mean have you thought about what you gonna do if this whole rap thing dudn't work out?

D.J. Johnson: well, i was thinking about law school

[nate smiles in agreement]

D.J. Johnson: or medical school

[nate nods again in agreement]

D.J. Johnson: but then mom says she'll help me incorporate

[nate looks over at dorothy who's sleeping]

D.J. Johnson: so i was thinking about coming out with my own line of hip hop pyjamas

Nate Johnson: pyjamas?

[nate looks at him]

D.J. Johnson: you know how Puffy has Sean John and then Jigga has Rockawear

Nate Johnson: oh my days

D.J. Johnson: Dj's pjs baggy always!

[laughs to himself]

D.J. Johnson: bad!

Nate Johnson: I told your mother not stand by the microwave when she was pregnant with you!

[Dj looks puzzled]