Myrtle Quotes in Diary of a Mad Black Woman (2005)

Myrtle: You know I know this man put a hurtin' on you baby, but you've got to forgive him. No matter what he done, you've got to forgive him - not for him, but for you.

Helen: Forgive him for me?

Myrtle: When some body hurts you they take power over you, if you don't forgive them then they keeps the power. Forgive him baby and after you forgive him, forgive youreself.

Joe: I've got Viagra.

Myrtle: Oh yeah? Well I've got mace.

Myrtle: "Peace be still." That's what he said.

Madea: Well, peace always comes with still...

[takes out gun]

Madea: 'cause I keeps me a piece o' steel.

Myrtle: You've got to stand on your own two feet.

Helen: I don't think I'm strong enough.

Myrtle: Of course you are, you've got the strength God gave all women to survive. You just have to tap into it.

Madea: I remember this dude made me so mad, I didn't even know how mad I was until I went to his funeral.

Helen: Why were you so mad at him?

Madea: Because he hit me. Yes he hit me... and I didn't even know how mad I was until I saw him in his casket, he's 8 feet under.

Myrtle: 6 feet, that's how they bury people, Madea, 6 feet under.

Madea: That's what I'm trying to say, I thought I was over what he did to me until I saw him at the funeral, I was so mad I BEAT HIM DOWN 2 more feet.

Myrtle: [the dog's wearing Madea's house arrest ankle bracelet] What's that thing on the dog?

Helen: A flea and tick thing, Mama.

Myrtle: It don't look like no flea and tick thing. Madea. What's this thing on the dog?

Myrtle: I found out a long time ago that God can take care of me far better than you can.

Madea: God takes too long sometimes for me, I got to get got then.

Myrtle: Family reunions are about uniting the family, bringing together the young and old. Singing and dancing and thanking God, giving him the glory. Thanking him for getting us over. As we marched up the road this afternoon, what we saw were young men gambling, fighting, cussing. Women with no clothes on gyrating all over on this land. Do you see this shack. The man and woman we were born here gave birth to this generation. They were slaves. They worked this ground, but they bought it from the widow of the slave owner and that's the kind of blood we have running though our veins. That's the stock we are made of. What happened to us. What happened to us. Who are you. Do you know who you are. What happened to the pride and the dignity and the love and respect that we had for one another. Where did it go. And how, How do we get it back. I'ma tell you. Young Black men, take your place. We need you. Your sons and daughters need you. Did you understand what I just said. You were sold off and had no choice, yes but now it's time to stay. Take your place. Now. Starting now. Starting now. Young black women, you are more than your thighs and your hips. You are beautiful, strong, powerful. I want more from you. Take your place. I want every single one of you, young man, young woman, turn to the next person standing alongside of you. Grab them and hug them and tell them that you love 'em. Tell them, 'If you need anything, come to me.' 'If you need somebody to talk to, come to me.' 'I'll give you the shoulder, I'll give you the hug. I'll feed you, I'll clothe you if you need it. That's how you start from this moment. When you leave this reunion today, you take that with you.

Rebecca Winstead: We'd really get further in our act if he wouldn't talk so much.

Myrtle: Is he in the act with you?

Rebecca Winstead: I'm the act. He's my manager.

Myrtle: I bet you would make a better manager than your father.

Rebecca Winstead: Uncle Harry isn't my father. He's my stepfather. I've been taking care of him ever since my mother died.

Myrtle: Why, you poor child.

Rebecca Winstead: I'm not a poor child. I'm very self-reliant. My mother taught me to always be that way.

Myrtle: I'll be seein' ya around. Don't do anything while I'm gone that you couldn't do on a bicycle.

Myrtle: Gee, I hope this don't get Harry Delano in dutch.

Happy: It'll kill his old woman if she finds out he's mixed up in the booze racket!

Myrtle: He's a no good egg anyway.

Happy: You're right, baby.

Myrtle: Well, so long, honey, I'm leavin'.

Happy: I thought we might go down and get... a bowl of chop suey.

Myrtle: Can't make it tonight, honey.

Happy: No? Why all the glad rags?

Myrtle: I've got a sick girl friend, promised I'd drop over.

Happy: Oh, all that for a sick girl friend? Don't give me that bull. You're goin' to the jazz joint with that Harry Delano.

Myrtle: Happy!

Happy: I'm wise. I was tipped off you were with him the night before last when you said you had a headache.

Myrtle: Now, sugar, you don't think I'd fall for Harry Delano?

Happy: No! You'd fall for anybody that'd spend jack on ya.

Myrtle: Well, he ain't got no jack. He ain't even workin'.

Happy: He ain't workin'; but, he's peddlin' booze.

Myrtle: How was Mitch's party last night?

George: Great! Say, was that some party. A real high class affair. I never saw so many drunken dames in all of my life.

Myrtle: Did you do yourself any good?

George: Not me, baby. When a dame falls for me, I want to know what she's falling about.

Myrtle: Not a bad idea.

Myrtle: You're a swell prune, you are! Stood me up last night, didn't ya? I parked outside that dump last night until I thought my feet had grown to the sidewalk.

Harry Delano: You wouldn't want to see me take a rap, would ya? I'll make it right with you, Myrtle, I'll give you anything you want! Anything up to a grand.

Myrtle: You've never seen that much money.

Harry Delano: Well, why not? I'm makin' plenty of dough in the booze racket, ain't i?

Mrs. Delano: That mug in there had it comin' to him!

Myrtle: Oh, you cold hearted old buzzard, let me tell you something.

Detective Sikes: Were you on the sand with Harry?

Happy: Think of your reputation!

Myrtle: You think of it. You do more worryin' about it than I do.