Murray the Cop Quotes in The Odd Couple (1968)

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Murray the Cop Quotes:

  • Oscar Madison: I'm $800 behind in alimony. Let's raise the stakes.

    Roy: They can do it, you know.

    Oscar Madison: Do what?

    Roy: Throw you in jail.

    Oscar Madison: Never. If she can't call me up once a week to aggravate me, she's not happy.

    Murray the Cop: Aren't you worried about the kids?

    Oscar Madison: Murray, the kids are living in their grandfather's house with a swimming pool in California. Can we just play cards?

    Roy: I told you you'd get into trouble. It's because you don't know how manage anything. I should know - I'm your accountant.

    Oscar Madison: If you're my accountant, how come I need money?

    Roy: If you need money, how come you play poker?

    Oscar Madison: 'Cause I need money.

    Roy: But you always lose.

    Oscar Madison: That's why I need the money.

    Roy: Then don't play poker.

    Oscar Madison: Then don't come to my house and eat my potato chips.

    [grabs the bag of potato chips on the poker table and flings the entire contents all over the living room]

    Oscar Madison: You see, wise guy? Potato chips!

    Murray the Cop: Oh, beautiful, beautiful.

    [an argument ensues with everyone bickering all at once]

    Murray the Cop: What are you yelling about? We're playing a friendly game!

    [the bickering continues]

    Murray the Cop: All right, all right, ALL RIGHT! Calm down, calm down, take it easy. I'm a cop, you know - I can arrest the whole lousy game.

    [they all quiet down]

    Oscar Madison: My friend Murray the cop is right. Let's just play cards and please hold them up. I can't see where I marked them.

    Roy: He owes money to his wife, his government and his friends and he still won't take it seriously.

    Oscar Madison: Life goes on even for those of us who are divorced, broke and sloppy.

Browse more character quotes from The Odd Couple (1968)

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Characters on The Odd Couple (1968)