Murphy Bivens Quotes in Charlie Bartlett (2007)

Murphy Bivens: I'll see you in the sequel, bitch!

Murphy Bivens: How does that feel? I don't care. You know why? 'Cause that was a rhetorical question!

Murphy Bivens: Okay, maybe you're not a total tool, but guys like you and guys like me can't be friends.

Charlie Bartlett: Why is that?

Murphy Bivens: I take the train tracks home. You drive around in a limo.

Charlie Bartlett: I guess you're right. Look, I got ninety pills of Ritalin that we could sell at the dance. Maybe we're just gonna have to settle for being business partners.

Murphy Bivens: [cornering him] What's that, a briefcase?

Charlie Bartlett: Actually, I believe it's an attaché case.

Kip Crombwell: What's that thing on your jacket mean?

Charlie Bartlett: Oh, this. "cor ad cor loquitur". It's in Latin. I think the translation is "heart speaks to heart", but I may be wrong.

Murphy Bivens: So, you like a total faggot, or what?

Charlie Bartlett: Is that a rhetorical question?

Murphy Bivens: Hey, Whitney.

Whitney Drummond: Hi, Murphy.

Whitney Drummond: [as Murphy hands her a bouquet of flowers] Wow, you actually brought flowers.

Murphy Bivens: [a bit sheepishly] They're pretty lame, huh? I've never been on a real date before.

Whitney Drummond: That's okay, Murphy. I've never been on a real date before either.

Whitney Drummond: [commenting on his preppy-looking polo shirt with alligator logo] By the way, I like your shirt.

Murphy Bivens: Thanks.

Murphy Bivens: I think Dustin Lauderbach may be a...

[wiggles his hand in a suggestive manner]

Charlie Bartlett: I think you're just jealous 'cause you don't have any artistic ambitions.

Murphy Bivens: Fuck you, dude. In fifth grade, I played Linus in "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown." And I was good.

Charlie Bartlett: Really?

Murphy Bivens: Yeah.

Charlie Bartlett: Wow, I didn't know that.

Murphy Bivens: If I'm jealous - "if" - it's because only guys like Dustin Lauderbach can get girls like Whitney Drummond.

Charlie Bartlett: You wanna' hook up with Whitney Drummond?

Murphy Bivens: No. I wanna' to do it right. That's the kind of girl you go dinner and a movie with.

Charlie Bartlett: [looks a bit skeptical] I don't know, you'd have to clean up quite a bit.

Murphy Bivens: [scoffs] Not in this life.

Charlie Bartlett: So, why did you stop doing the school play?

Murphy Bivens: I kept getting my ass kicked by people like me.

Charlie Bartlett: Murph, we really have to have conversations like this more often

Murphy Bivens: Oh, bite me.