"Mud" Quotes in Camp Nowhere (1994)

"Mud": Dad! Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I can't act stupid.

Zach: If Mud's guilty I am too.

Gaby: Me too! I'm smart enough to act stupid.

Trish: Yeah and I'm stupid too! Well... you know what I mean.

T.R. Polk: [after getting the money for Dennis' car] You're a little short.

"Mud": Well... you're a little fat.

"Mud": Who's this?

Dennis Van Welker: Winston Churchill. Jimi Hendrix of the spoken word.

"Mud": Who's Jimi Hendrix?

Dennis Van Welker: Michael Jordan of the electric guitar.

Dennis Van Welker: Don't forget your pills. 4 every hour.

"Mud": Uh Dennis? that's 1 every 4 hours.

Dennis Van Welker: No way, let me see that.

[reads bottle]

Dennis Van Welker: Oh... not the first time THAT mistake's gotten me in trouble.

Dennis Van Welker: Do you know what the first rule of the theater is, Mud?

"Mud": No...

Dennis Van Welker: [shouts] Talk loud enough for people to hear you!

"Mud": OK... so...

"Mud": [shouts] Are you gonna help me?

Dennis Van Welker: Much better... No.

Gaby: Guys can be geeks, but it's different for girls. I'm gonna wind up wearing a hairnet and serving Jell-o in the cafeteria!

"Mud": That won't happen, because a lot of girls start out... lumpy. But you'll get thinner, and then you'll start to grow... chests, and then you'll be going out with guys who hang me up by my underwear.

"Mud": I'm in hell. Shoot me.

"Mud": Gaby, when does your mom leave for the islands?

Gaby: Just as soon as she puts me on the bus to Camp Slenderella.

Trish: Again?

Gaby: Celery sticks and rice cakes... prison food!

Trish: I'll mail you a Twinkie.

"Mud": [complaining about his parents] They talk about me like... I'm unemployed or something.

"Mud": [the other kids are throwing stuff at each other] YOU'RE GONNA PUT SOMEBODY'S EYE OUT WITH THAT!

[pause]

"Mud": I'm turning into my parents!

[walks off, everybody gets out of his way]

"Mud": How could you invite her over?! She's going to find out!

Dennis Van Welker: Mud, in a couple of years, two things will happen. One, you'll grow a ridiculous mustache that looks fruit mold on your upper lip. Two, you'll suddenly understand why men invite charming, attractive women to dinner.

Trish: He tried doing Silence of the Lambs as a musical. He got fired and he left town.

"Mud": Yeah well he got fired, but I don't think he left town.

[shows Dennis' picture in the yearbook]

Trish: The cheese man at the mall?

Zach: We're not 'delinquent friends'.

Trish: Oh really? Then how come you go to military camps every summer, because you like the haircuts?

Zach: You know my Dad. 'Military camp builds character'

Gaby: [about Camp Slenderella] 'It's for your own good, Gabs'.

Trish: [about Broadway Camp] 'But Trish, all the OTHER kids are going!'

"Mud": Hey, how about this one? 'It'll be fun'.

"Mud": What's up?

Gaby: [making breakfast] Omelets.

"Mud": What's wrong with Slim Jims and Pop-Tarts?

Gaby: I don't know... I guess I just got tired of the stuff.

Mud: She is like a dream you don't want to wake up from.

Mud: There are fierce powers at work in the world, boys. Good, evil, poor luck, best luck. As men, we've got to take advantage where we can.

Mud: I like you two boys. You remind me of... me.

Mud: Tom's had lives you'd never even know about. Grew up up north,went to Yale. For a long time he was a paid assassin for the CIA. Flew to Cuba in '63. He's killed more people than y'all probably ever met.

Mud: What'd you say, boy? It's a hell of a thing, ain't it?

Ellis: What's that?

Mud: Boat up on a tree. Hell of a thing.