Ms. Jones Quotes in Nick of Time (1995)

[Mr. Smith and Ms. Jones look out for the perfect couple to kidnap]

Ms. Jones: [Ms. Jones comments on some rollerbladers] Oh, man, I hate rollerbladers. Skateboarders I don't mind, even though they dress like fuckin' idiots. But when I see some pinhead on rollerblades, it really gives me the urge to want to grease the front of my car with them.

[Ms. Jones points out to Mr. Smith an old couple to kidnap]

Ms. Jones: [Ms. Jones points to an arguing couple] That one... right there?

Mr. Smith: No. Hates his wife.

[Ms. Jones points out to Mr. Smith a few more different couples to kidnap]

Ms. Jones: What about them... right there?

Mr. Smith: Too old.

Ms. Jones: Oh. Them?

Mr. Smith: You ever had an idea, it would die of malnutrition. Leave it to me. I know people. It's my job... People person.

[Mr. Smith sees Mr. Watson and his little girl as the perfect pair to kidnap]

Mr. Smith: [in a low voice] Perfect.

Ms. Jones: Perfect.

[Ms. Jones carries Lynn out of the train station as she steals a coloring book on the way out]

Lynn Watson: You stole that.

Ms. Jones: No, I didn't. I confiscated it. There's a difference.

Lynn Watson: No there's not.

[Mr. Watson and his little girl sit in the van with Mr. Smith and Ms. Jones]

Lynn Watson: I want my daddy!

Ms. Jones: Well, your daddy's right there.

Gene Watson: [Mr. Watson from the passenger seat] Daddy's right here, honey. Daddy's here.

Ms. Jones: We're your daddy's friends.

Mr. Smith: [Mr. Smith from the driver seat] That's right. Policeman's your friend. Isn't that right, daddy? Daddy?

Gene Watson: That's right, honey. The police are our friends.

[Mr. Smith tells Mr. Watson the deadline he has to kill the woman in the picture]

Mr. Smith: It's now 12:16. If the woman in the picture's alive at 1:30, half past 1:00... I call my partner. Your daughter's dead. What happens if I don't call you?

Ms. Jones: Kill her anyways.

Mr. Smith: You hear that, Mr. Watson? Do you understand? It's the woman in the picture or your daughter.

Gene Watson: God.

Mr. Smith: God can't help you Mr. Watson, only you.

[Lynn asks Ms. Jones where her dad is leaving to]

Lynn Watson: Where's my daddy going?

Ms. Jones: Your daddy's going to help the police. He's going to be a hero.

Lynn Watson: Like Power Rangers?

Ms. Jones: [Ms. Jones pats on Lynn's head] Yeah, just like Power Rangers.

[Mr. Watson opens the door to the van and sees his daughter asleep in front of Ms. Jones]

Ms. Jones: What we have here is what they call a Mexican stand-off.

Ms. Jones: [Mr. Watson cocks his gun at Ms. Jones] Now, the thing you've got to ask yourself is, what's behind the seat?

Ms. Jones: [Mr. Watson sees Ms. Jones poke the muzzle of her gun from behind the seat] Now, a .22 will go right through it, but even a button will throw a .22 off. So, there is a good chance that it can get screwed up somewhere along the way and miss the target. What about a .38? Well, a .38 will drill pretty straight unless of course it hits metal. Then it's going to bust up into bitty little pieces. It'll keep going, but it's going to get slowed down quite a bit. How's about a .357? Well, that'll go through the seat, her, the dashboard. Shit! It'll go through the entire engine block before it even knows it hit anything. It'll end up in some pedestrian three blocks away. What do you think? Huh? What is my poison?

[Mr. Watson looks back down at his little girl and the gun poking from behind the seat]

[Lynn keeps noticing how Ms. Jones looks to check on her]

Lynn Watson: Why do you keep looking at me?

Ms. Jones: It's my job. I'm your babysitter.

Lynn Watson: I'm not a baby.

Ms. Jones: Oh, you're a big girl?

Lynn Watson: I'm not a big girl, but I'm not a baby.

[Mr. Huey startles Ms. Jones as he begins to clean her van windshield]

Ms. Jones: Hey, what-what are you doing?

Mr. Huey: [Mr. Huey sprays and wipes her windshield] I'm just giving you the gift of a clean windshield.

Ms. Jones: No, no, I don't want my windshield clean. So, just get out of here.

Mr. Huey: Oh, you just think you don't want your windshield clean.

Ms. Jones: No, I know that I don't want my windshield cleaned. So, get out of here.

Mr. Huey: Oh, come on. Don't be like that. Just think of me as the Moses of dirty windshields, leading you through the desert of dead bugs.

[Mr. Huey chuckles]

[Mr. Huey demands Ms. Jones for his $1 after cleaning her van windshield]

Mr. Huey: I've already done it. I've already done it. You have to pay me now.

Ms. Jones: I ain't paying you nothing!

Mr. Huey: Oh, come on. You want to deny me a lousy dollar. After I've sweated like a pig giving you the gift of a clean windshield?

Ms. Jones: Fucking-A!