Mrs. Plum Quotes in One for the Money (2012)

[Grandma Mazur is waving Stephanie's gun around at the dinner table]

Mrs. Plum: Put the gun away, Ma! I don't know why I bother...

[Grandma pulls the trigger, shooting a hole in the dinner chicken]

Mrs. Plum: Now look what you did!

Mr. Plum: She belongs in a home!

Mrs. Plum: Frank!

Grandma Mazur: [proud] Shot that sucker in the gumpy!

Stephanie Plum: [v.o] The clock on the dash told me I was five minutes late, and a lifetime with my mother told me she'd think that meant I was dead.

Mrs. Plum: I thought you were dead!

Stephanie Plum: Five minutes late, Ma. What's for dinner?

Mrs. Plum: Pot roast.

Stephanie Plum: Yum.

Mrs. Plum: Dried out, but...

Stephanie Plum: [v.o] As for my dad, those five minutes were spent contemplating how to kill Grandma Mazur and where to bury the body.

Bonejangles: Hit it, boys. Hey! Give me a listen, you corpses of cheer,/Least those of you who still got an ear./I'll tell you a story make a skeleton cry/Of our own jubiliciously lovely corpse bride!

Bone Boys: Die, die, we all pass away/But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay/And you might try and hide/And you might try and pray/But we all end up the remains of the day/Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

Bonejangles: Well, our girl was a beauty known for miles around/When a mysterious stranger came into town./He was plenty good-lookin', but down on his cash./And our poor little baby, she fell hard and fast/When her daddy said no, she just couldn't cope/So our lovers came up with a plan to elope!

Bone Boys: Die, die, we all pass away/But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay/And you might try and hide/And you might try and pray/But we all end up the remains of the day/Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

Bonejangles: [after instrumental] That's right. Okay. Oh, yeah. Come on, boys, pick it up. Yeah. Like it. Okay, Chancy, take it. Yeah. Yeah! That's nice. Yeah. So they conjured up a plan to meet late at night./They told not a soul, kept the whole thing tight./Now her mother's wedding dress fit like a glove./You don't need much when you're really in love./Except for a few things, or so I'm told,/Like the family jewls and a sachel of gold./Then next to the graveyard by the old oak tree,/On a dark foggy night at a quarter to three,/She was ready to go, but where was he?

Short Dead Cook: And then?

Bonejangles: She waited.

Short Dead Cook, Mrs. Plum: And then?

Bonejangles: There in the shadows, was it her man?

Short Dead Cook, Mrs. Plum, Tall Dead Cook: And then?

Bonejangles: Her little heart beat so loud!

Short Dead Cook, Mrs. Plum, Tall Dead Cook, Paul The Head Waiter: And then?

Bonejangles: And then, baby, everything went black./Now when she opened her eyes she was dead as dust./Her jewels were missin' and her heart was bust./So she made a vow lyin' under that tree/That she'd wait for her true love to come set her free./Always waiting for someone to ask for her hand./Then out of the blue comes this groovy young man/Who vows forever to be by her side./And that's the story of our own corpse bride!

Bone Boys: Die, die, we all pass away/But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay/And you might try and hide/And you might try and pray/But we all end up the remains of the day/Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mrs. Plum: New arrival!

Mrs. Plum: [Goes over to dead Mayhew] Coming through! Coming through!

[Shakes his hand]

Mrs. Plum: My name's Plum. *Miss* Plum

Mrs. Plum: Ohhh!