Mrs. Montenegro Quotes in The Cheap Detective (1978)

Lou Peckinpaugh: This signature's been tampered with. Your name isn't Denise Manderley, is it?

Mrs. Montenegro: No. It's Wanda Coleman.

Lou Peckinpaugh: Then why does your driver's license say Gilda Dabney?

Mrs. Montenegro: I believe my life is in danger; that's why I've taken so many precautions. My real name is... Chloe Lamar.

Lou Peckinpaugh: Well, thank you, Miss Lamar. I appreciate your honesty. Now can you tell me why you let yourself in with this passkey to search my office? What is it that you were looking for?

Mrs. Montenegro: Uh, to be perfectly frank, your bathroom.

Lou Peckinpaugh: I don't have any.

Mrs. Montenegro: Yes! I found that out a little too late...

Lou Peckinpaugh: All right, can we stop playing games now? It isn't Manderley, or Coleman, or Dabney, or even Lamar, is it? The initials on this handkerchief are A.P. - what does A.P. stand for?

Mrs. Montenegro: Alma Chalmers.

Lou Peckinpaugh: Chalmers begins with a C! This is a P!

Mrs. Montenegro: Palmers. Alma Palmers.

Lou Peckinpaugh: You give me the runaround one more time and I'm going to slap you around this office. I don't care what your name is any more. Just make one up, so I know what to call you!

Mrs. Montenegro: Vivian Purcell.

Lou Peckinpaugh: That's better.

Mrs. Montenegro: Carmen Montenegro. That's my last one, I promise!

Lou Peckinpaugh: Miss De Vega, I presume.

Mrs. Montenegro: Mr. Peckinpaugh, you look startled.

Lou Peckinpaugh: Oh, no, it's just that, uh, you look like... fourteen other dames that was here the other night.

Mrs. Montenegro: Yes, I know. They were my sister.

Lou Peckinpaugh: Well, that explains the resemblance.

Mrs. Montenegro: Not to me - she was adopted!

Lou Peckinpaugh: Yeah? Well, so am I, but... I don't look like your sister either.

Lou Peckinpaugh: You mean you married your own father?

Mrs. Montenegro: It's not like you think. It was a simple wedding, done very tastefully.

Lou Peckinpaugh: I'm sure it was. If you could just give me his name...

Mrs. Montenegro: Vladimir Tserijemiwtz.

Lou Peckinpaugh: Vladimir Tserijemiwtz. How do you spell that?

Mrs. Montenegro: I'm not sure. Well, we were never that close.

Lou Peckinpaugh: Don't call me for three days, and when you do, use your real name. By the way, what is it?

Mrs. Montenegro: Mary Jones. I swear it, Lou.

Lou Peckinpaugh: Well, change it. It sounds phony.

Lou Peckinpaugh: [answering phone] Yeah?

Mrs. Montenegro: Mr. Peckinpaugh, I think I have some information regarding the untimely death of your late, deceased, murdered partner.

Lou Peckinpaugh: Who is this?

Mrs. Montenegro: As the Chinese say, never mind. We must be careful; I'm being watched. Can we meet in your office in fifteen minutes?

Lou Peckinpaugh: All right. What time is it now?

Mrs. Montenegro: I'd rather not tell you that until I know I can trust you.

[hangs up]