Mrs. Marcus Quotes in It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963)

Sylvester Marcus: [into a phone] Mama, who's with you? Where are you talking to me... Where are you?

Mrs. Marcus: [into the phone] I'm with this truck driver at Peterson's garage in a place called Plaster City. And will you just shut up a minute so I can tell you what happened!

Sylvester Marcus: Now listen, Mommy, you listen to me close. You stay right there, because I'm coming, Mom. I'm coming to get you right now, Mom.

Mrs. Marcus: Will you SHUT UP AND LISTEN?

Sylvester Marcus: Mama, it's all right. Everything's gonna be all right, Mama. Your baby's coming to get ya. You just sit there. Sit there, relax, take it easy.

Mrs. Marcus: [On the phone and the camera's still on Sylvester] Sylvester...

Sylvester Marcus: I'm coming to get you, Mom!

Mrs. Marcus: [On the phone and the camera's still on Sylvester] ... shut up and let me talk...

Sylvester Marcus: [At the same time, while Mrs. Marcus is speaking] Everything is gonna be all right!

[Hangs up]

Lennie Pike: Well?

Mrs. Marcus: So he's coming here. And I'm not to worry about a thing, because "everything is going to be all right!"

Mrs. Marcus: [to Emmeline] Exactly like your father: a big, stupid, muscle-headed moron!

Mrs. Marcus: [holding cactus plant] Well, uh, where shall I put this?

J. Russell Finch: [double take] Oh, boy.

Mrs. Marcus: Now for the last time. Are we calling Sylvester or not?

J. Russell Finch: No! We are not! And I'll tell you why not. Because your son Sylvester is an irresponsible, unreliable, big loudmouth no good bum! Who if he isn't a crook? It's because he doesn't have the brains or ambition even to become a crook!

J. Algernon Hawthorne: I say: *Good show*!

Emmeline Finch: Oh Russell, I feel sick.

J. Russell Finch: Now take it easy honey, these things happen ya know.

Mrs. Marcus: Now what kind of an attitude is that, "these things happen"? They only happen because this whole country is just full of people, who when these things happen, they just say "these things happen," and that's why they happen! We gotta have control of what happens to us.

Mrs. Marcus: [holding a planter containing several cactus] Well, where should I put this?

J. Russell Finch: [scoffing] Oh, boy.

Man in car in desert: Trouble? Having any trouble?

Mrs. Marcus: Yes, and we don't need any help from you!

[Brief pause]

Man in car in desert: Well!

Mrs. Marcus: "No matter what you've all done today, you're really not criminals". Ha! Of all the snooty, patronizing...

[to Pike]

Mrs. Marcus: You're stepping on my foot!

Sylvester Marcus: Would you get off Mama's foot?

Second cab driver: [they're chasing Capt. Culpeper] He's heading for the border. Let's stop and call the police station.

Mrs. Marcus: You shut up! We're gonna get that money. Keep driving!

Second cab driver: That woman is something else.

Ding Bell: Ah, this is hopeless. We're gonna get noplace if we're gonna continue listening to this old bag.

Benjy Benjamin: What are you trying to do, lady? You trying to split us up so it becomes every man for himself?

Ding Bell: ...And every woman for HIMself?

Mrs. Marcus: One more funny remark from you, buster...

J. Algernon Hawthorne: Jolly nasty accident there. Jolly lucky nobody was hurt.

Mrs. Marcus: Where did you get that funny accent? Are you from Harvard or something?

J. Algernon Hawthorne: Harvard? Rather not. I'm English.

Mrs. Marcus: Sounds so foreign.

J. Algernon Hawthorne: Really?

Sylvester Marcus: [Benji and Dingy run by] Who are they?

Mrs. Marcus: I don't know.

Sylvester Marcus: From this morning?

Mrs. Marcus: Yes.

Sylvester Marcus: [Captain Culpeper goes by] Who is he?

Mrs. Marcus: I don't know.

Sylvester Marcus: [Otto Meyer runs by] Who is he?

Mrs. Marcus: I don't know.

Sylvester Marcus: Mama, how many people are mixed up in this thing?

[the two cab drivers run by]

Sylvester Marcus: Who are they? Cabbies? Mama, this thing is like a convention.

Mrs. Marcus: Sylvester!

Sylvester Marcus: Mama!

Mrs. Marcus: Why couldn't you listen? Why couldn't you shut up when I was trying to tell you to listen?

J. Algernon Hawthorne: Have a care, that chap's run absolutely amok!

Lennie Pike: All right lady, are you gonna get out or am I gonna have to throw you out?

Emmeline Finch: Oh please Mr. Pike, don't get upset.

Mrs. Marcus: He's not gonna do anything! Drive on, ya big stupid idiot!

Mrs. Marcus: [Referring to her son, Sylvester] Exactly like your father! A big stupid muscle-headed moron!

[last scene: Mrs. Marcus, with Emmeline and Monica in tow, enter the hospital where all the men are hospitalized, right after Benjy throws a banana peel on the floor]

Mrs. Marcus: Now see here, you idiots, it's all your fault, because if you hadn't...

[Mrs. Marcus slips on the banana peel and falls back-first on the floor]

Sylvester Marcus: Mama!

[all the hospitalized men, except Sylvester and Captain Culpeper, burst out laughing uproariously as Mrs. Marcus is put on a stretcher and taken away]

Mrs. Marcus: Don't you dare touch me! Get away from me! Let me go! Leave me alone...!

[Captain Culpeper joins the laughter]

Emmeline Finch: I'm only thinking of Russell's condition.

Mrs. Marcus: You mean his financial condition, because that's the only condition that he has.

J. Russell Finch: Yeah but...

Mrs. Marcus: Emmeline, do you know why your husband had a nervous breakdown? It's because he has sunk $40,000, including $15,000 of my money into a company that makes seaweed for people to eat.

J. Russell Finch: Yeah but...

Mrs. Marcus: And not only does nobody like it, but it costs over $4.00 a can.

J. Russell Finch: Yeah but...

Mrs. Marcus: Yeah but WHAT?

J. Russell Finch: Well, most people like it and I like it, and I'm working hard trying to keep the cost down.

Mrs. Marcus: Yeah you were working hard trying to keep the cost down the day that you ran out of your office and stood in the street screaming.

Emmeline Finch: Mother!

Mrs. Marcus: Oh Emmeline, shut up!

[Russell starts to speak]

Mrs. Marcus: And you too!

Mrs. Marcus: Nobody's gonna get *me* up in the air!

Mrs. Marcus: You're overlooking one little thing.

J. Russell Finch: Yeah, one little thing.

Ding Bell: What little thing?

J. Russell Finch: Yeah, what little thing?

Mrs. Marcus: We can all count, can't we? There were 8 of us there.

J. Russell Finch: She's right. There were 8 of us there.

Mrs. Marcus: We're the ones with the Imperial, and we're running last?

Lennie Pike: This is stupid. You call me a "stupid idiot?" Well, let me tell you something. You're a "stupid idiot!"

Mrs. Marcus: But he'll go all the way to Plaster City.

Lennie Pike: So he goes all the way to Plaster City. I don't know about you, but I'm turning this thing around. Now, you wanna catch him? You get out and run!