Mrs. Hazeltine Quotes in Throw Momma from the Train (1987)

+1
Share
Pin
Like
Send
Share

Mrs. Hazeltine Quotes:

  • Larry: [teaching a creative-writing class] This is a real classic by Mr. Pinsky. It's entitled "One Hundred Girls I'd Like to Pork."

    Male Student #1: "Pork"?

    Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student: It's a coffee table book.

    Larry: "One Hundred Girls I'd Like To..." Hmmm. Chapter One: Kathleen Turner. Chapter Two: Cybill Shepherd. Chapter Three: Suzanne Pleshette. Chapter Four: The Girl in the Taco Commercial. Chapter Five: The Woman in 4B. Chapter Six: The Oriental Laker Girl. Chapter Seven... Mr. Pinsky, this is not literature!

    Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student: Well, you know, I would put in photographs, a brief character sketch, like a biography, and a nice dust jacket.

    Larry: Mr. Pinsky, what is this?

    Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student: It's literature. It's a fantasy. My fantasy. Like Melville, this is my great white whale.

    Mrs. Hazeltine: It's whacking material.

    Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student: Isn't that literature?

    Larry: Mr. Pinsky, how do you associate "Moby Dick" to a list of women you'd like to have sex with?

    Male Student #2: Well, I think it's very brave.

    Mrs. Hazeltine: I think he's vulgar.

    Male Student #3: That's what they said about Twain.

    Mrs. Hazeltine: That's what I'm saying about him.

    Male Student #3: I think you're vulgar.

    Mrs. Hazeltine: I think you're a no-talent little shit.

    Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student: Maybe I should change the title.

    Male Student #2: I like the title!

    Larry: [bell rings] OK, I'll see you Wednesday, class. Good work today. Remember, a writer writes, always.

    [as the students prepare to leave, voices are heard saying "Pinsky, I could do the photographs" and "Hey Pinsky, what about Vanna White?"]

  • Mrs. Hazeltine: [reading her manuscript] His guts oozed nice, like a melted malted.

  • Mrs. Hazeltine: "Dive... DIVE" yelled the captain through the thing. So the captain pressed a button, or something, and it dove. And the enemy was foiled again!

Browse more character quotes from Throw Momma from the Train (1987)

+1
Share
Pin
Like
Send
Share