Mrs. Bennet Quotes in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)
Mrs. Bennet Quotes:
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Mrs. Bennet: [trying to be complimentary] Lady, may I take a moment to compliment you on your pantaloons. Your eyepatch. Fashion or function?
Lady Catherine de Bourgh: Function.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mr. Bennet: [cunningly] An unhappy alternative is before you. Your mother will never speak to you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins. And I will never speak to you again if you do.
Mrs. Bennet: [realizing, outraged] Who will maintain you when your father is dead? No one, Elizabeth Bennet! You shall become a poor and pathetic spinster!
Elizabeth Bennet: [near tears] Anything! Anything is to be preferred or endured rather than marrying without affection!
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Parson Collins: Is there absolutely no negotiation over Jane?
Mrs. Bennet: The early bird catches the worm, Mr. Collins.
Parson Collins: Indeed.
Mr. Bennet: Be mindful of your talent for the delicate compliments, sir.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: Do not worry, Mr. Collins, she shall be brought to reason.
Parson Collins: Oh good!
Elizabeth Bennet: No.
Parson Collins: Oh no.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: I consider dancing to be the first refinement of polished society. Don't you agree, Mr. Darcy?
Mr. Darcy: No, every savage can dance. Why, I imagine that even zombies can do it to some degree of success.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
[ordered to order Lizzie to accept Mr. Collins's proposal]
Mr. Bennet: Your mother insists on you marrying Mr. Collins...
Mrs. Bennet: Yes! Or I'll never see her again!
Mr. Bennet: Well, Lizzy, from this day henceforth it seems you must be a stranger to one of your parents...
Mrs. Bennet: Who will maintain you when your father's gone?
Mr. Bennet: Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins... and I will never see you again if you do.
Mrs. Bennet: Mr. Bennet!
Elizabeth Bennet: Thank you, Papa.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mr. Bennet: Well, if Jane does die, it will be a comfort to know she was in pursuit of Mr. Bingley.
Mrs. Bennet: People do not *die* of colds.
Elizabeth Bennet: Though she may well perish with the shame of having such a mother.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: But she doesn't like him. I thought she didn't like him.
Jane Bennet: So did I, so did we all. We must have been wrong.
Mrs. Bennet: Wouldn't be the first time, will it?
Jane Bennet: No, nor the last I dare say.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: Now she'll have to stay the night. Exactly as I predicted.
Mr. Bennet: Good grief, woman. Your skills in the art of matchmaking are positively occult.
[Mrs. Bennet giggles]
Elizabeth Bennet: Though I don't think, Mama, you can reasonably take credit for making it rain.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, my goodness. Everybody behave naturally.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Elizabeth Bennet: [On Marriage] Is that really all you think about?
Mrs. Bennet: When you have five daughters, Lizzie, tell me what else will occupy your thoughts, and then perhaps you will understand.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mr. Collins: Mrs. Bennet I was hoping, if it would not trouble you, that I might solicit a private audience with Miss Elizabeth in the course of the morning.
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, yes. Certainly. Lizzy will be very happy indeed. Everyone, out. Mr. Collins would like a private audience with your sister.
Elizabeth Bennet: No, no, wait, please. I beg you. Mr. Collins can have nothing to say to me that anybody need not hear.
Mrs. Bennet: No nonsense, Lizzy. I desire you will stay where you are. Everyone else to the drawing room. Mr. Bennet?
Mr. Bennet: But...
Mrs. Bennet: Now.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Kitty Bennet: Papa!
Mrs. Bennet: Is he amiable?
Mary Bennet: Who?
Kitty Bennet: Is he handsome?
Mary Bennet: Who?
Lydia Bennet: He's sure to be handsome.
Elizabeth Bennet: For five thousand a year, it would not matter if he's got warts and a leer.
Mary Bennet: Who's got warts?
Mr. Bennet: I'll give my heartiest consent to his marrying whichever of the girls he chooses.
Lydia Bennet: So will he come to the ball tomorrow, Papa?
Mr. Bennet: I believe so.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mr. Bingley: Your friend, Miss Lucas, is a most amusing young woman.
Elizabeth Bennet: Oh, yes, I adore her!
Mrs. Bennet: It is a pity she's not more handsome.
Elizabeth Bennet: Mama!
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, but Lizzie would never admit that she's plain. Of course, it's my Jane that's considered the beauty of the county.
Jane Bennet: No, Mama, please...
Mrs. Bennet: When she was only fifteen there was a gentleman that was so much in love with her that I was sure he would make her an offer. However, he did write her some very pretty verses.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: Do you not want to know who has taken it?
Mr. Bennet: As you wish to tell me, my dear, I doubt I have any choice in the matter.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: ...and then he danced the third with Miss Lucas.
Mr. Bennet: We were all there, dear.
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, poor thing. It is a shame she's not more handsome. There's a spinster in the making and no mistake. The fourth with a Miss King, of little standing... and the fifth again with Jane.
Mr. Bennet: If he'd had any compassion for me, he would have sprained his ankle in the first set.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: Mr. Bennet, you must introduce him to the girls! Immediately!
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Lydia Bennet: Oh, Mama! You will never, ever, ever believe what we're about to tell you!
Mrs. Bennet: Well tell me quickly, my love!
Lydia Bennet, Kitty Bennet: [in unison] The regiment are coming!
Mrs. Bennet: Officers!
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, Mr. Bennet, the way you carry on, anyone would think our girls look forward to a grand inheritance. When you die, Mr. Bennet, which may in fact be very soon, our girls will be left without a roof to their head nor a penny to their name.
Elizabeth Bennet: Oh, Mama, please. It's ten in the morning.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
[from trailer]
Mrs. Bennet: Is he amiable?
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: You must visit him at once.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: Netherfield Park is let at last. Have you heard who has taken it?
Mr. Bennet: I have.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
[first lines]
Elizabeth Bennet: [to frolicking sisters] Lydia! Kitty!
Mrs. Bennet: My dear Mr Bennet, have you heard? Netherfield Park is let at last. Do you not want to know who has taken it?
Mr. Bennet: As you wish to tell me, my dear, I doubt I have any choice in the matter.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mr. Bennet: How can that possibly affect them?
Mrs. Bennet: Oh Mr. Bennet, how can you be so tiresome? You know he must marry one of them!
Mr. Bennet: Ah, so that is his desire in settling here.
Mrs. Bennet: You must go and visit him at once!
Mr. Bennet: Good heavens. People.
Mrs. Bennet: For we may not visit if you do not, as you well know, Mr. Bennet!
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mr. Bennet: There's no need. I already have.
Mrs. Bennet: Have? Oh Mr Bennet! How can you tease me so? Have you no compassion for my poor nerves?
Mr. Bennet: Oh you mistake me, my dear. I have the highest respect for them. They've been my constant companions these twenty years.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Sir William Lucas: Mr. Bingley, my eldest daughter you know. Mrs. Bennet, Miss Jane Bennet, Elizabeth, and Miss Mary Bennet.
Mrs. Bennet: It is a pleasure. I have two others, but they are already dancing.
Mr. Bingley: I'm delighted to make your acquaintance.
Sir William Lucas: And may I introduce Mr. Darcy of Pemberley and Derbyshire.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: Jane is a splendid dancer, is she not?
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: Look at them! Five of them without dowries. What's to become of them?
Mr. Bennet: Yes, what's to become of the wretched creatures? Perhaps we should have drowned some of them at birth.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Lydia Bennet: Has anybody heard how Jane is this morning?
Mrs. Bennet: Eh, Mr. Bingley sent a note over by his groom. She's much better. Such a happy idea of mine sending her off in the rain.
Mr. Bennet: Yes, but to Jane must go all the credit for having caught the cold, my dear.
-- Mrs. Bennet -
Mrs. Bennet: Mary, try to sparkle a little.
[Mary grins horribly]
Mrs. Bennet: Just a little!
-- Mrs. Bennet
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