Mr. Thorndyke Quotes in The Love Bug (1968)

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Mr. Thorndyke Quotes:

  • [during the big race, Thorndyke and Havershaw have switched the signs leading to Placerville and the Lost Bonanza Mine]

    Mr. Thorndyke: How true it is that the simplest ways are the best ways after all.

    Havershaw: That's what I always say, sir.

    Mr. Thorndyke: Oh, shut up.

  • Mr. Thorndyke: I salute your honesty, my dear, a quality not necessarily to be despised.

  • Mr. Thorndyke: Havershaw, I'm not a cowardly man, but I get the feeling that thing is out to get me.

    Havershaw: Now now, sir, none of that. We're not losing our nerve are we?

    Mr. Thorndyke: BLAST you, Havershaw! How dare you patronize me! I am not losing my nerve!

    Havershaw: No sir. No sir, of course not.

  • Mr. Thorndyke: Good evening.

    Tennessee Steinmetz: Sorry, the other rats are out for the evening!

  • Mr. Thorndyke: Good sir, would you say this is a compact car?... You do not answer. Well, let me tell you that you've never heard of a compact car until you see what I'm going to do with this. Mr. Douglas, I have a friend with a claw-and-hook auto-wrecking company in San Francisco, and he's going to work on your car. Maybe he'll transform it into a birdbath. Or what about a nice doormat, so I can wipe my feet on it every day. It's too bad this thing doesn't have the gumption to get up to the starting line this morning. I should have enjoyed beating it.

    [kicks Herbie again]

    Tennessee Steinmetz: [croaking, grunting] AUWWW...!

  • Mr. Thorndyke: What part of Ireland did you say your mother came from?

    Tennessee Steinmetz: Coney, Ireland.

    [laughs drunkenly]

  • [Thorndyke kicks not-yet-named "Herbie" the little white car in his shop]

    Jim Douglas: What's that for?

    Mr. Thorndyke: I beg your pardon!

    Jim Douglas: Well, why don't you let the little car alone?

    Mr. Thorndyke: Are you presuming to tell me what to do in my own establishment?

    Jim Douglas: Okay, I'm out of line. It just bugs me to see somebody abusing a decent piece of machinery.

    Mr. Thorndyke: [laughs] How fascinating. Well, now that we've had the benefit of your point of view, shall we regard our relationship as terminated?

  • Mr. Thorndyke: At a time like this, whatever kind of time it is, I always say money serves to ease the pain.

  • [Jim brings the malfunctioning Herbie back to Thorndyke. It accidentally bangs against Thorndyke's Rolls Royce and stops. Jim gets out]

    Mr. Thorndyke: Have you gone mad?

    Jim Douglas: Okay, what's the joke?

    Mr. Thorndyke: What do you mean?

    Jim Douglas: I don't know how you rigged it, but I'm sure that car is a real cut-up when a convention comes to town.

    Mr. Thorndyke: What in the name of...

    Jim Douglas: If I'd wanted a trick car, I would have bought one at a joke shop.

    Mr. Thorndyke: [as Carole joins him] Allow me to say that I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about. You come billowing up in that beastly little car, and assault my personal Rolls Royce.

    Jim Douglas: ...I brought it back! I want my money, I want the papers I signed, and then I'll get outta here, and you two clowns can... can have your little laugh.

    Carole: Mr. Douglas, if there is anything wrong with the car, would you be good enough to tell me what it is?

    Jim Douglas: Well, there's nothing essentially wrong with the car. It's just that it wants to go one way and I'd like to go the other.

    Mr. Thorndyke: Well, whatever it is, none of it is covered in our guilt-headed guarantee.

    Jim Douglas: Oh, I'm sure of that.

  • Carole: Mr. Douglas needs a car, and for a very low amount down and the usual monthly payments, the car will become his.

    Mr. Thorndyke: Very well, even though my personal inclination is to have Mr. Douglas clapped into jail and this four-wheeled contrivance dropped into the Bay!

  • [during the big race, Thorndyke's car bumps Herbie off the road and down a hill]

    Havershaw: What happened to it?

    Mr. Thorndyke: I'd say it's gone for that last big lube job up yonder.

  • Carole: Excuse me, Mr. Thorndyke, but if I sold this gentleman the car, I feel a certain responsibility.

    [to Jim]

    Carole: Do you mind if I try it?

    [Jim nods and motions her to go ahead; they go over to the VW Bug]

    Mr. Thorndyke: [shocked] Miss Bennett! Our dinner engagement!

    Carole: [getting in] I won't be a minute.

  • Mr. Thorndyke: [to Carole as he is about to enter a road race against Jim] You keep your eye on your friend in the Bug, my dear - I'm going to squash him!

  • Havershaw: [Thorndyke and Havershaw are stopping in the middle of the race to have some chilled wine] You know something about champagne, sir?

    Mr. Thorndyke: Havershaw, if you tell me that the bubbles tickle your nose, I shall probably kill you!

  • Mr. Thorndyke: Why did you try to take over the job?

    Johnny Blake: I didn't try and take it over, I took it over.

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