Mr. Ryan Quotes in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

Mr. Ryan: It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."

Bill: He's dead?

Mr. Ryan: So, Bill, what you're telling me, essentially, is that Napoleon was a short dead dude.

Bill: Well, yeah.

Ted: You totally blew it, dude.

Mr. Ryan: Ted, stand up.

Ted: Stand up?

Mr. Ryan: Yes, son. Stand up.

[Ted stands]

Mr. Ryan: Now, who was Joan of Arc?

Ted: ...Noah's wife?

[laughter, then bell]

[teaching his marine studies class]

Mr. Ryan: So to answer your question, Pacific swells are usually a lot bigger than Atlantic swells. But remember: Kelly Slater is from Florida.

Mr. Ryan: So why are there palm trees in Ireland?

Pee-wee: [shouts impatiently] All I wanted was a measly sandwich! I very nicely explained that I was starving. I'm starving! PLEASE!

Mr. Ryan: [defeatedly] Sorry, ladies. I guess you'll just have to wait. You remember, no one is as important in this community as Pee-wee Herman. All you other shoppers will just have to play second fiddle to Pee-wee. I guess that's just the way things are around here. My whole purpose in life is to serve Pee-wee Herman. And everything else comes second!

[finishes Pee-wee's sandwich]

Mr. Ryan: There's your sandwich. Is there anything else I can do for you, Pee-wee?

Pee-wee: Well, I would like a pickle if it's not too much trouble.

Mr. Ryan: No! No trouble at all, Pee-wee. Sorry, Otis. Sorry, Deke.

[opens a barrel, knocking over Otis and Deke's chess board; extracts a pickle and hands it to Pee-wee]

Mr. Ryan: Game's over. Pee-wee Herman wants a pickle. Here. Here's your darned pickle. Are you happy now?

Pee-wee: Mmm-hmm.

Mr. Ryan: [Sees Pee-wee reading a magazine in his store] I hope your planning to buy that magazine, Pee-wee. This ain't no Library.

Sheriff: All right, listen up, people!

Mr. Ryan: What's up, Sheriff?

Sheriff: I got a call from Porterville there is a big storm heading this way, you folks better go home. Smiley, you start putting up the store.