Mr. President Quotes in Machete Kills (2013)

Machete: I'm not interested.

Mr. President: Motherfucker, I'm not asking if you're interested. I'm the President of the United fucking States, man.

Mr. President: You know Mexico. Hell, you are Mexico.

[last lines]

Mr. President: I'm President Rathcock, and I approve this message.

Mr. President: Machete, what's this I hear about you having Mendez in custody?

Machete: Things got complicated.

Mr. President: No shit! You were supposed to take him out, not give him a joyride on the Good Ship Lollypop! Damn it, I didn't recruit you for your sense of compassion. Machete kills. That's what he does! He doesn't save the bad guys! Now shoot that motherfucker!

Machete: If he dies, you die. The missile is wired to his heart.

Mr. President: Come again?

Miss San Antonio: Machete, can it be disarmed?

Machete: Only where it was made. VozTech.

Mr. President: VozTech is the biggest weapons supplier to our military! You want to bring him all the way back to the fucking manufacturer?

Machete: I need your help getting him across the border. This is a part of something big. I can feel it.

Mr. President: Last time I sent a black op team into Mexico, they got dead and I got the Oval ass-fuck.

[Mr. President is about to give a speech to the crowds of people at the raceway and the viewers watching the event from the Summer Palace]

Mr. President: My children, whom I love so dearly, it has been my duty in the long and difficult years since the World Crash of '79 to serve you as best I could. Never before in history have masses forgone all comfort, so that the spirit of genius might thrive and seek the golden key to a new time of plenty in the fertile field of minority privilege. And now, my children, the drivers are ready. The world is waiting. Once more, I give you what you want.

Mr. President: I have made the United Provinces of America the greatest power in the known universe.

Mr. President: The drivers are ready, the world is watching. Once more, I give you what you want.

Andrew Lockney: So what am I getting myself into?

Mr. President: The OSA has a sparked interest in an ancient relic located in the Montoya Wilderness, thirty minutes from here. It was said to be brought over by a Chinese immigrant in the early 1900's, and it has somewhat of a mysterious background. Just a simple retrieval mission, nothing big. I thought it'd be good for you, after, you know.

Andrew Lockney: Thanks James.

Mr. President: Hey, what are friends for?