Mr. Potato Head Quotes in Toy Story (1995)

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Mr. Potato Head Quotes:

  • [Mr. Potato Head rearranges his facial features crazily]

    Mr. Potato Head: Hey, Hamm. Look, I'm Picasso!

    Hamm: I don't get it.

    Mr. Potato Head: You uncultured swine! What're you lookin' at, ya hockey puck?

  • Sergeant: [about the second present Andy opens ] It's... it's bedsheets!

    Mr. Potato Head: Who invited that kid?

  • Mr. Potato Head: Hey, a laser! How come *you* don't have a laser, Woody?

    Woody: It's not a laser! It's a...

    [sighs in frustration]

    Woody: It's a little light bulb that blinks.

    Hamm: What's with him?

    Mr. Potato Head: Laser envy.

  • Buzz: What's going on?

    Woody: Nothing that concerns you space man, just us toys.

    Buzz: I'd better have a look anyway.

    [he looks through Lenny the binoculars]

    Buzz: Why is that soldier strapped to an explosive device?

    Woody: [moves Lenny] That's why. Sid.

    Buzz: [seeing a dog] Sure is a hairy fella...

    Woody: [re-moving the binoculars] No, no, that's Scud, you idiot. *That* is Sid.

    Buzz: [Sid is laughing maniacally] You mean that happy child?

    Mr. Potato Head: That ain't no happy child!

    Rex: He tortures toys - just for fun!

  • Woody: [Running towards Buzz in a Mocking sort of Manner] Oh Buzz! Buzz Lightyear! Thank Goodness! We've Got Trouble!

    Buzz: Trouble? Trouble where?

    Woody: Down there. A helpless toy is trapped, Buzz!

    Buzz: On it!

    [Buzz jumps over to the Side of the Desk, while Woody sneaks over to RC's Remote, waking him up, and aiming him directly at Buzz]

    Buzz: I don't see anything!

    Woody: Oh he's there, just keep looking.

    [Woody sends RC driving towards Buzz. Buzz jumps out of the way, and RC crashes into the pin-up Board in the corner, knocking all the pins down around Buzz. The board crashes down into Andy's Globe, knocking it loose, rolling towards Buzz]

    Woody: [Buzz jumps out of the globe's way, onto the Windowsill, but the Globe strikes Andy's Folding-Arm Desk Lamp. It spins over Woody, who ducks out of the way, and hits Buzz, sending him flying out the window]

    HammMr. Potato Head: [Stop their Card Game, and run over to the Window in Panic] BUZZ!

    Woody: Buzz!

    [Buzz flies into the Bushes nearby and disappears]

    Slinky Dog: [the Rest of Andy's Toys gather round] I don't see him in the driveway. I think he bounced into Sid's Yard.

    [Woody gulps and backs away from the window after what happened]

  • [Mr. Potato Head watches hopefully as Andy open birthday presents]

    Mr. Potato Head: Mrs. Potato Head, Mrs. Potato Head, Mrs. Potato Head... hey, I can dream, can't I?

  • Mr. Potato Head: Oh, really? I'm from Playskool.

    Rex: And I'm from Mattel. Well, I'm not really from Mattel, I'm actually from a smaller company that was purchased by Mattel in a leveraged buyout.

  • Mr. Potato Head: [Noticing Woody calling from Sid's house] Son of a building block!It's Woody!

    Hamm: He's in the psycho's bedroom!

    Bo Peep: Woody?

    Woody: Boy, am I glad to see you guys!

    Slinky Dog: I knew you'd come back!

    Bo Peep: What are you doing over there?

    Woody: It's a long story, I'll explain later. Here! Catch this!

    [Woody throws a String of Christmas Lights across to Andy's Window, which Slinky grabs successfully]

    Slinky Dog: I got it!

    Woody: Good going Slink! Now tie it onto something!

    Mr. Potato Head: Wait, I have a better idea! How about we don't?

    [Snatches the lights off Slinky]

    Slinky Dog: Hey!

    Bo Peep: Potato Head!

    Mr. Potato Head: Did you all take those Stupid Pills this morning? Have you forgotten what he did to Buzz?

    [the other toys shake their head]

    Mr. Potato Head: And now you wanna let him back over here?

    Woody: No, no. You got it all wrong Potato Head. Buzz is right here. He's with me.

    Woody: [Calling to Buzz] Buzz, come over here and tell the nice toy's that you're not dead!

    [Buzz sits on the floor of Sid's Room, peeling off the sticker of his wrist communicator]

    Woody: Just a sec.

    Woody: [Walks back into Sid's Room and calls over to Buzz] Buzz, will you get up here and gimme a hand?

    [Buzz throws his broken-off arm to Woody]

    Woody: Ha-ha, ha-ha. That's real funny. THIS IS SERIOUS!

  • Mr. Potato Head: [From in the Cardboard box they'd been placed in for Moving] How did I get stuck with *you* as a moving buddy?

    Rex: Everyone else was picked.

  • Slinky Dog: [after Buzz gets knocked out the window and lands into the bushes nearby] Hey guys, RC's trying to tell us something.

    Rex: What is it Boy?

    R.C. the Race Car: [RC Whirrs his wheels]

    Mr. Potato Head: He says that this is *no* accident!

    Bo Peep: What do you mean?

    Mr. Potato Head: I mean Humpty Dumpty was pushed, by Woody!

    [the toys all stare at Woody in shock]

    Woody: Wait a minute, You don't think I even meant to knock Buzz out the window, do you? Potato Head?

    Mr. Potato Head: That's Mr. Potato Head to *you* you Backstabbing murderer!

    Woody: Now, guys, it was an accident. C'mon, you-you've gotta believe me.

    Slinky Dog: We believe ya, Woody. Right, Rex?

    Rex: [Nervously] Well, I mean, uh, I don't like confrontations!

    Mr. Potato Head: Couldn't handle Buzz cutting on your playtime, could you Woody? Didn't wanna face the fact that Buzz might be Andy's *new* favourite toy. So you got rid of him. Well what if Andy starts playing with *me* more Woody, huh? You gonna knock me out the window too?

    Hamm: I don't think we should give him the chance.

  • Sergeant: [he can't see what Andy is holding up] It's a...

    Rex: It's A WHAT? WHAT IS IIIITTTTT?

    [Rex shakes the table, inadvertently knocking off the TalkBoy and causing the batteries to fall out]

    Rex: Oh, no!

    Mr. Potato Head: Oh, ya big lizard! Now we'll never know what it is!

    Hamm: Way to go, Rex!

    [moves forward]

    Woody: [as the toys struggle to put the batteries back in the TalkBoy] No, no, turn 'em around! Turn 'em around!

    Hamm: He's putting them in backward!

    [to Mr. Potato Head]

    Hamm: Hey, you're putting 'em in backwards!

    Woody: PLUS IS POSITIVE! MINUS IS NEGATIVE! Oh, let me!

    [jumps down]

    Sergeant: [downstairs, into the Baby Monitor] Red alert! Red alert! Andy is coming upstairs!

    [Woody puts the batteries back in properly and picks the Talkboy up]

    Sergeant: ...juvenile intrusion, repeat! Assume your positions now!

    Woody: ANDY'S COMING! Everybody back to your places! Hurry!

    [mayhem breaks out]

    Mr. Potato Head: [in a panic] Where's my ear? Who's seen my ear? Did you see my ear?

  • Sergeant: Molly's first present is... Mrs. Potato Head! Repeat, a Mrs. Potato Head!

    Hamm: Way to go, Ida-ho!

    Mr. Potato Head: Gee, I'd better shave!

    [pulls off his moustache]

  • Slinky Dog: Woody? Where'd you go?

    Mr. Potato Head: He's lying, Buzz ain't there.

    [Woody returns with Buzz' detached arm, hiding it slightly from the other toys]

    Woody: Oh hi Buzz. Why don't you say hello to the guys over there.

    Woody: [Intimidating Buzz' voice] Oh hi, how you doing?

    [the other toys from Andy's Room stare at Woody confused]

    Woody: You guys won't believe this, but Buzz and I are friends now.

    Woody: [Imitating Buzz] You bet. To infinity and beyond!

    Woody: Gimme five!

    [Hi fives Buzz' severed arm and chuckles without the others knowing, as they look in amazement]

    Rex: Hey look, it is Buzz!

    Slinky Dog: I knew you were right all along Woody! I never doubted you for a second.

    [to Mr. Potato Head]

    Slinky Dog: Now gimme back the lights so we can help the two over here.

  • Mr. Potato Head: Ages three and up! It's on my box! Ages three and up! I'm not supposed to be babysitting Princess Drool!

  • Sergeant: [He and the Other Green Soldiers leap out of the bucket onto Woody] There he is men! Get him!

    Mr. Potato Head: Let's string him up by his Pull String!

    [He and the other toys, apart from Slinky and Bo Peep rush on over toy Woody, and attempt to throw him out]

    Bo Peep: Will you boys stop it?

    Andy: Ok Mum, I'll be right down. I've just gotta get Buzz!

    [All the toys return to their places as Andy enters his room, looking for Buzz]

    Andy: Mum have you seen Buzz?

    Andy's Mom: He should be right in your room, where you left him?

    [Mr. Potato Head looks grimly from behind Etch, having drawn a hangman noose]

    Andy's Mom: Andy, I'm heading out the door!

    Andy: Mum, I can't find him!

    Andy's Mom: Well honey, just take some other toy. Now, come on!

    Andy: [Picks up Woody and heads to the Car] OK.

  • Woody: Has everybody picked a moving buddy?

    Hamm: Moving buddy? You can't be serious!

    Rex: I didn't know we were supposed to have one already!

    Mr. Potato Head: [holding his left arm in his right hand] Do we have to hold hands?

    [All laugh]

  • Mr. Potato Head: [as Woody tries to persuade everyone that Buzz is alright so that they may help him over] Wait just a minute here. What are you trying to pull?

    Woody: [Throwing both hands into the air, accidentally revealing Buzz' severed arm completely] Nothing!

    [the toys from Andy's Room in horror, and Rex throws up at the sight of it]

    Hamm: That is Disgusting!

    Mr. Potato Head: *Murderer*

    Woody: No, no no no. It's not what you think. I swear!

    Mr. Potato Head: Save it for the jury!

    [Throws the String of Christmas Lights out the window, which go flying back to Sid's house where Woody is pleading for mercy, and land into Sid's Yard]

    Mr. Potato Head: I hope Sid pulls your voice box out, ya creep!

    [He and the other toys start to leave]

    Woody: Don't leave! You've gotta help us please!You don't know what's it's like over here!

    Woody: [to Slinky] Slink, please! Please listen to me1 Slink, don't...

    [Slinky sadly close the blind]

    Woody: [Sadly] SLI-I-I-I-NKYYY!

  • Mr. Potato Head: [while playing Battleship] Ah, ha. B-3.

    Hamm: Miss. G-6.

    Mr. Potato Head: Aw, you sunk it!

    [Hamm chuckles]

    Mr. Potato Head: Are you peeking?

    Hamm: Hey, quit your whining and pay up.

    [Mr. Potato Head plls off one of his ears]

    Hamm: No, no, not the ear. Gimme the nose.

    Mr. Potato Head: [pulls off his nose] How 'bout 3 out of 5?

  • [from trailer]

    Buzz Lightyear: Hold on, this is no time to be hysterical!

    Hamm the Piggy Bank: This is the perfect time to be hysterical.

    Rex the Green Dinosaur: Should we be HYSTERICAL?

    Slinky Dog: No!

    Mr. Potato Head: Yes!

    Buzz Lightyear: Maybe! But not right now!

    Hamm the Piggy Bank: C'mon. Let's go see how much we're going for on eBay.

  • [Woody jumps on to a train of orphaned Troll dolls. He pulls the brake to try and stop the train before reaching the broken bridge, but they still fall into the canyon]

    Jessie: No!

    [Suddenly, Buzz Lightyear appears, lifting the train and its passengers out of the canyon]

    Buzz Lightyear: Glad I could catch the train!

    Woody: Now let's catch some criminals!

    Buzz Lightyear: To infinity and beyond!

    [Cut to the Potato Heads and the aliens in their car, counting money and laughing evily]

    Aliens: [pointing at the sky] Ooh!

    [Buzz flies above the bandits and slices their car with his laser. After the criminals tumble to the ground, Woody, Buzz, and Jessie enter]

    Woody: Reach for the sky!

    Mr. Potato Head: You can't touch me, Sheriff. I brought my attack dog with a built-in force field!

    [Mr. Potato Head calls Slinky Dog over with a whistle. Slinky bounces down from the mountains and forms the force field around the Potato Heads and aliens]

    Woody: Well, I brought my dinosaur who eats force field dogs!

    Jessie: Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!

    [the ground cracks apart, and Rex emerges. He roars at the evildoers, but then notices something]

    Rex the Green Dinosaur: Huh?

    Buzz Lightyear: [a pig-shaped spaceship suddenly appears. Its driver is Hamm, portraying Dr. Porkchop] Evil Dr. Porkchop!

    Hamm the Piggy Bank: That's *Mr.* Evil Dr. Porkchop to you.

    [Hamm teleports the Potato Heads, the aliens, and Slinky onto his ship. He also pushes a button reading, "Death by Monkeys," trapping our heroes with a flood of plastic red monkeys. As Mr. Potato Head reaches toward a button activating a destructive ray, the scene suddenly cuts to Andy's bedroom. The whole scene actually took place in Andy's imagination, as he plays with the toys and a cardboard spaceship]

    Young Andy: [as Woody] Buzz, shoot your laser at my badge!

    Young Andy: [as Buzz] Woody, no! It'll kill you!

    Young Andy: [as Woody] Just do it!

    [Andy shields Buzz's eyes and pushes the laser button. He uses his finger to trace the laser bouncing off Woody's badge, then knocks the spaceship and its evil passengers towards the ground]

  • [first lines]

    [Mr. Potato Head, portraying One-Eyed Bart, jumps out of a train while carrying money sacks]

    Mr. Potato Head: [laughs evily] Ah, ha ha ha! Money, money, money!

    [Woody lassoes a rope to grab the money from Mr. Potato Head's hands, then trips him]

    Woody: You've got a date with justice, One-Eyed Bart!

    Mr. Potato Head: Too bad, Sheriff! I'm a married man!

    [Mrs. Potato Head jumps onto the train, giving karate yells]

    Woody: One-Eyed Betty?

    [Mrs. Potato Head chases Woody across the train tops, then uses nunchucks to knock him off. As the Potato Heads look and laugh evily, Woody suddenly reappears, riding Bullseye with Jessie]

    Jessie: I think you dropped something, mister!

    Mr. Potato Head: Jessie?

    Woody: Give it up, Bart! You've reached the end of the line!

    Mr. Potato Head: I always wanted to go out with a bang!

    [Mr. Potato Head presses a button on a remote, causing dynamite to blow up the bridge]

    Jessie: Oh, no!

    Woody: The orphans!

    [cut to a group of Troll dolls riding the train]

    Mr. Potato Head: Hate to leave early, but our ride is here!

    [Three aliens drive up in a pink Barbie Corvette]

    Aliens: Ooh!

    Mr. Potato Head: It's me or the kiddies, Sheriff! Take your pick!

    [the Potato Heads jump into the convertible and drive off]

    Woody: Ride like the wind, Bullseye!

  • Rex the Green Dinosaur: Mr. Lotso, do toys here get played with every day?

    Lotso: All day long! Five days a week.

    Jessie: But what happens when the kids grow up?

    Lotso: Well now, I'll tell you.

    [Lotso walks over to a wall with class photos from past years]

    Lotso: When the kids get old, new ones come in. When they get old, new ones replace them. You'll never be outgrown, or neglected. Never abandoned or forgotten. No owners means - no heartbreak!

    Jessie: Yee-haw!

    Mrs. Potato Head: It's a miracle!

    Mr. Potato Head: And you wanted us to stay at Andy's!

    Woody: Because we're Andy's toys!

    Lotso: [walks over] So you got donated by this "Andy", huh? Well it's his loss, Sheriff. He can't hurt you no more.

    Woody: Whoa! Whoa, whoa whoa...

    Lotso: Now let's get you settled in.

  • Jessie: Woody, we were wrong to leave Andy. I - I was wrong...

    Mr. Potato Head: Jessie's right, Woody. She was wrong.

  • Mr. Potato Head: Remember all that bad stuff I said about Andy's attic? I take it all back.

    Slinky Dog: Ya darn-tootin'

    Hamm the Piggy Bank: You said it!

  • Mr. Potato Head: [to the Peas-in-a-Pod] I told you kids to stay out of my butt!

  • Mr. Potato Head: You would not believe what I have been through tonight!

  • Mr. Potato Head: [after spending the night in the daycare sandbox] It was cold and dark, nothing but sand and a couple of Lincoln Logs.

    Hamm the Piggy Bank: Eh... I don't think those were Lincoln Logs.

  • [the Aliens have just saved the toys from the incinerator]

    Mrs. Potato Head: You saved our lives!

    Mr. Potato Head: And *we* are eternally grateful!

    [hugs the aliens]

    Mr. Potato Head: My boys!

    Aliens: Daaaaaady!

  • Mr. Potato Head: But these toddlers... they don't know how to play with us!

    Rex the Green Dinosaur: They're too young!

  • Buzz Lightyear: Good work, men. Two blocks down and only nineteen more to go.

    Mr. Potato Head: What?

    RexHammSlinky Dog: Nineteen?

    Mr. Potato Head: Are we gonna do this all night? My parts are killing me.

    Buzz Lightyear: Come on, fellas. Did Woody give up when Sid had me strapped to a rocket?

    Mr. Potato HeadRexHammSlinky Dog: No.

    Buzz Lightyear: No. And did he give up when you threw him out of the back of that moving van?

    Mr. Potato Head: Oh, you had to bring *that* up!

    Buzz Lightyear: No, he didn't! We have a friend in need, and we will not rest until he's safe in Andy's room! Now, let's move out!

  • [the road leading to Al's Toy Barn on the other side has a tonne of Traffic in the way of the Toys]

    Rex: Oh well.

    Buzz Lightyear: [Holds onto Rex's tail] We'll have to cross.

    RexSlinky DogMr. Potato HeadHamm: WHAT?

    Mr. Potato Head: You're not turning me into a Mashed Potato.

    Slinky Dog: I may not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is.

    Buzz Lightyear: There has to be a safer way.

  • Rex: What happened?

    Mr. Potato Head: [in disbelief] Woody's been shelved!

  • Mr. Potato Head: Prepare to meet

    [shouts]

    Mr. Potato Head: [he accidentally sticks his extra pair of shoes on his face and runs into a wall] Mr. Angry Eyes! Argh argh!

  • Slinky Dog: [the Toys are searching for Woody down one of the aisles] We've been down this aisle already.

    Mr. Potato Head: We haven't been down this aisle, it's pink.

    Slinky Dog: Face it, we're lost.

  • Buzz Lightyear #2: Oh no, they've detected us, the walls are closing in!

    [grabs Mr. Potato head and mounts him aganist the celing of the vent]

    Buzz Lightyear #2: Quick, help me prop up Vegetable man here or we're done for!

    Mr. Potato Head: Hey! Put me down you moron!

    Rex: Look, guys, it's not the walls, it's the elevator.

    [the elevator further down the shaft arrives at the bottom]

    Buzz Lightyear #2: [Looking up, it's quite a way] Quick grab on.

    [Buzz #2 draws out a rope from his Utility Belt, tossing it to the other toys, and activates 2 Suction Magnets from the sides. He then starts climbing up at the side of the shaft]

    Hamm: Uh Buzz? Why not just take the Elevator?

    Buzz Lightyear #2: They'll be expecting that.

  • Mr. Potato Head: [From under Andy's bed sheets] I found it.

    Woody: You found my hat?

    Mr. Potato Head: Your hat? No. The missus lost her earring.

    [singsong to Mrs. Potato Head]

    Mr. Potato Head: Oh my little sweet potato!

    Mrs. Potato Head: [turning around fast] Ooh, you found it! Ohh, it's so nice to have a big, strong spud around the house.

  • [Potato Head has saved some alien toys]

    Alien toys: You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.

    Mr. Potato Head: Will you just leave me alone?

  • [Woody explains his newfound past to his old friends]

    Woody: Oh, you should have seen it. There was a record player. And a yo-yo. Buzz, I was a yo-yo!

    Mr. Potato Head: [to Hamm] WAS?

  • Mr. Potato Head: [as he and the Other Toys walk through the bushes] Can we stop? My parts are killing me.

    Buzz Lightyear: How about a quick roll call? Everybody here?

    Mr. Potato Head: Not everybody.

    Buzz Lightyear: Who's behind?

    Slinky Dog: Mine...

    [Slinky Dog's back half catches up with the group]

  • [the toys are trying to find a way to enter Al's apartment building]

    Mr. Potato Head: I say we stack ourselves up, push the intercom and pretend we're delivering a pizza.

    Hamm: How about a ham sandwich? With fries and a hotdog?

    Rex: What about me?

    Hamm: Ah, you can be the toy that comes with the meal.

  • Hamm: [the toys are climbing up an elevator shaft. Some coins fall out of Hamm's stomach opening] Uh oh. Look out below down there.

    Slinky Dog: [They hit Slinky in the face] Whoa, Pork bellies are falling.

    Mr. Potato Head: [Lands on one of Mr. Potato Head's eyes, which he manages to flick off easily] Hey, how much farther Buzz?

    Buzz Lightyear #2: Half way, there.

  • [Woody goes to the yard sale with the help of Buster, Andy's dog, to rescue Wheezy]

    Mr. Potato Head: Where is he going? He's nuts!

    Slinky Dog: His arm ain't that bad.

    Rex: [yells] Don't do it, Woody! We love yooooou!

  • Hamm: All right, let's review this one more time. At precisely 8:32-ish, Exhibit A, Woody, was kidnapped.

    [Etch-A-Sketch draws Woody]

    Hamm: Exhibit B, a composide sketch of the kidnapper.

    [Etch-A-Sketch draws Al with a long beard]

    Bo Peep: He didn't have a beard like that.

    Hamm: Fine. Uh, Etch, give him a shave.

    [Etch-A-Sketch redraws Al without a beard]

    Slinky Dog: The kidnapper was bigger than that.

    Hamm: Oh, picky, picky, picky.

    Mr. Potato Head: Oh, let's just go straight to Exhibit F! The kidnapper's vehicle.

    [Refers to their toy reconstruction of the driveway]

    Mr. Potato Head: Now the vehicle fled the scene in this direction.

    [pushes a toy car to the left]

    Hamm: Oh, your parts are in backwards! It went the other way!

    [pushes the toy car right]

    Hamm: Hey, put a cork in it!

    [Rex walks through, destroying their model]

    Rex: Hey, how do you spell F-B-I?

    Mr. Potato Head: My crime scene!

    Hamm: Hey, watch where you're going, Godspilla!

    Rex: I didn't know this was a crime scene!

  • Buzz Lightyear: Woody you're in Danger here, we need to leave now.

    Rex: Al's selling you to a Toy Museum, in Japan.

    Woody: I know! It's okay, Buzz. I actually wanna go.

    Mr. Potato Head: [Shocked] What? Are you crazy?

    Woody: Look, the thing is, I'm this rare "Sheriff Woody" doll, and these guys, are my - round-up gang.

    Buzz Lightyear: Woody, what are you talking about?

    Woody: What am I talking about? "Woody's Round-Up"! Oh, it's this great old T.V. show, and I was the star.

    [turns on T.V. and "Woody's Round-Up" video starts playing]

    Woody: See, look, that's me!

    Hamm: This is weirdin' me out.

  • Buzz Lightyear #2: [Rex having pushed the Other Toys down due to slipping, causes Buzz #2's weight to give in] What was I thinking? My Anti-gravity servos

    [Presses the button on his Utility Belt, lighting it up, unaware that he's just a toy]

    Buzz Lightyear #2: Hang tight everyone, I'm going to let go of the wall.

    [the other toys all look up at him shocked]

    Slinky Dog: Huh?

    Rex: What?

    Mr. Potato Head: He wouldn't!

    Buzz Lightyear #2: One!

    Hamm: He would.

    Hamm: Two!

    Slinky DogRexMr. Potato HeadHamm: DON'T DO IT, BUZZ!

    Buzz Lightyear #2: Three!

    [he lets go of the wall and they all land on the elevator, which is coming up the shaft]

    Buzz Lightyear #2: To infinity and beyond! Approaching destination. Reengaging gravity.

    [Turns off Belt]

    Buzz Lightyear #2: [gets off the elevator into the vent] Area secure.

    Slinky DogRexMr. Potato HeadHamm: [all moaning]

    Buzz Lightyear #2: It's OK troops, the antigravity sickness will wear off momentarily. Now, let's move!

    Mr. Potato Head: Remind me to glue his helmet shut when we get back.

  • Rex: [as Al drives off] How are we gonna get him now?

    Mr. Potato Head: Pizza, anyone?

    [camera pans to reveal the Pizza Planet delivery truck]

  • [Buzz is trying to figure out the vehicle's owner that stole Woody, by trying to see what the License Plate means, as well as the Plastic Feathers that fell out of the boot]

    Mr. Potato Head: What are you doing Buzz?

    Buzz Lightyear: ?

  • Hamm: Excuse me, ladies, but could any of you tell us where we might the Al of Al's Toy Barn?

    Tour guide Barbie: I can help!

    [slides down the slide and into the toy car]

    Tour guide Barbie: I'm Tour Guide Barbie! Please keep your hands, arms, and accessories in the car, and no flash photography. Thank you.

    Mr. Potato Head: I'm a married spud, I'm a married spud...

    Hamm: [Hopping into the front seat of the car] Then make way for the single fellas.

  • [Al arrives back at his penthouse, but leaves his bag with the Toys in the car]

    Rex: He didn't take the bag!

    Buzz Lightyear #2: No time to lose!

    [Buzz #2 struggles to open the locked door handle, and watches Al head to the Elevator]

    Buzz Lightyear #2: He's Ascending in a Verticle Transporter.

    [Jumps back onto the Car Seat and opens up his wings, hanging onto Rex and Mr. Potato Head, not knowing that he's just a toy]

    Buzz Lightyear #2: Alright everyone, Hang on! We're gonna blast to the roof!

    Rex: Uh, Buzz?

    Buzz Lightyear #2: To Infinity, and Beyond!

    [Nothing happens, Buzz #2 remains standing firm]

    Mr. Potato Head: What are you, insane?

    [Runs over to the Car Lock, with Rex giving him a boost]

    Mr. Potato Head: Stand still Godzilla.

    [Strains to lift the lock with his weak arms]

    Buzz Lightyear #2: [Confused, but still doesn't know the truth] I don't understand. Somehow my Fuel cells have gone dry...

    [Leans against the Electric Window Switch, which successfully pops open the lock that Mr. Potato Head is still struggling to pull open]

    Mr. Potato Head: Aaaah!

    [Mr. Potato Head having had his arms pulled off in the process bounces backwards and lands upside in the Cup Holder]

  • [Buzz #2 straps Buzz into an Empty Box]

    Buzz Lightyear: Listen to me, listen to me, you're not really a Space Ranger, you're a Toy.

    Buzz Lightyear: [Muffled from inside the box] We're all toys, can you hear me?

    Buzz Lightyear #2: Well, that should hold you until the Court-Martial!

    Buzz Lightyear: [as he's being placed onto a shelf, straining] Do you have any idea what you're doing? Let me go.

    Tour guide Barbie: [Arriving in the Toy Car with the Other Toys] And this is the Buzz Lightyear aisle. Back in 1995, short-sighted retailers did not order enough dolls to meet demand.

    Hamm: Hey Buzz!

    Buzz Lightyear #2: [Turns around, pointing his "laser" at the Toys] Halt! Who goes there?

    [the car stops]

    Mr. Potato Head: Quit clowning around and get in the car.

    Rex: Buzz! I know how to Defeat Zurg!

    Buzz Lightyear #2: [Stops pointing his "laser"] You do?

    Rex: C'mon. I'll tell you on the way.

    Buzz Lightyear: [From inside the Cardboard Box] No, no, guys! You've got the Wrong Buzz! You've got the Wrong Buzz!

    Hamm: [Noticing Buzz #2's Utility Belt] Say, where'd you get the cool belt Buzz?

    Buzz Lightyear #2: Well, Slotted Pig, they're standard issue.

    [the Other Toys drive off, leaving "Their Buzz" behind, struggling inside the Cardboard Box on the shelf, as the Camera zooms out]

  • [the toys are now in a Pet Carrier, placed onto the Conveyor Belt at the Airport]

    Alien toys: The Mystic Portal. Ooh!

    Buzz Lightyear: Once we go through, we just need to find that case.

    [They pass through into an Area with Multiple Conveyor Belts and Multiple Suitcases]

    Mr. Potato Head: [Gasps, as his Extra Pair of Shoes and Angry Eyes fall out of his Compartment]

    [the toys then slide down at a fast rate, and tumble out of the Pet Carrier they've been in onto the Conveyor Belt below]

    Slinky Dog: [Spotting a Green Suitcase in the Distance in front of them] There's the case.

    Hamm: [Spotting Another Green Suitcase on the Conveyor Belt below them] No there's the case.

    Buzz Lightyear: You guys take that one, we'll take this one.

    [Buzz and Slinky go after the Suitcase spotted in the Distance, whilst Hamm, Rex, Mr. Potato Head, and the Alien Toys go after the Suitcase underneath them]

  • [Whilst the toys search the Woody on Al's Office, unaware that he's not really there and in Al's Apartment, Al enters talking on the phone and walking over to the Fax Machine]

    Slinky Dog: [Whispering] It's him.

    Hamm: The Chicken Man.

    Buzz Lightyear #2: Funny, he doesn't look like poultry.

    Slinky Dog: That's the Kidnapper alright.

    Buzz Lightyear #2: Kidnapper, an Agent of Zurg if I ever saw one.

    Al McWiggin: [Putting a photo of Woody through the Fax Machine] And the Piece de Resistance. I promise the Collection will be the Crown Jewel of your Museum.

    [the photo pops out the Fax Machine through the other side, landing on the floor where the toys hid]

    Slinky Dog: It's Woody

    Al McWiggin: Now that I have your attention, imagine we added another Zero to the price, huh? What?

    Al McWiggin: [Overjoyed] Yes? Yes! You've got yourself a deal! I'll be on the next flight to Japan!

    Mr. Potato Head: [Shocked] He's selling Woody to a Toy Museum.

    Rex: In *Japan*.

    [the toys all jump into Al's Bag]

    Buzz Lightyear #2: Into the Poultry Man's Cargo Unit. He'll lead us to Zurg. Move, move, move!

    [Rex's tail hangs out of the bag, Al picks it up and laughs]

    Al McWiggin: [Cheering to himself] I'm gonna be rich! Rich! Rich!

  • [the Toys have successfully made it across the road wearing Rubber Cones, but have caused a number of Car Crashes]

    Mr. Potato Head: [Throwing the Cone off him] Well that went well.

    [the Large Rolling Cyllinder that almost crushed him continues rolling forward, and knocks down a Lampost]

    Buzz Lightyear: Good work Gentleman. We're getting much closer to Woody

    [as Buzz and the other toys head off to Al's Toy Barn, the camera pans over at Al's Apartment across the road, Woody's Real Whereabouts]

Browse more character quotes from Toy Story (1995)

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