Mr. Pizzacoli Quotes in Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)

Mr. Pizzacoli: [on delivering pizzas] A trained dolphin could do a better job than you two!

Jesse: Yeah, but then the pizzas would get all wet.

Mr. Pizzacoli: [knocks on the door] Open up, you 2 slackers!

Jesse and Chester: [quietly] Mr. Pizzacoli!

Mr. Pizzacoli: You guys left work last night with 30 pizzas that didn't get delivered, and I want some answers!

Jesse and Chester: [notice the undelivered pizzas around the house] Uh-oh.

Mr. Pizzacoli: OPEN UP THIS DAMN DOOR!

Chester: It's open!

Jesse: OHHH!

[he hits Chester]

Jesse: Look, it's an elephant!

Mr. Pizzacoli: [turning around] What?

Jesse: It was just a mailman.

Chester: Look, a unicorn!

[Mr. Pizzacoli looks]

Mr. Pizzacoli: A unicorn?

Chester: Sorry, I guess it was just a regular horse.

Mr. Pizzacoli: Damn! Now those are some big-ass panties.

Zoltan: You gotta activate the...

Space Nerds: Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam!

Jesse: What?

Mr. Pizzacoli: They said The Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam, YOU FOOL!

Chester: Hurry, activate it, dude!

[a small panel on the Transfunctioner reads "Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam"]

Chester: I think that's it, dude.

Jesse: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Mr. Pizzacoli: I know you've been embezzelin' my pizzas, and I will catch you eventually. And when I do, I swear ta God, you will neva deliver pizzas in this town again!