Mr. Pizzacoli Quotes in Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)


Mr. Pizzacoli Quotes:

  • Mr. Pizzacoli: [on delivering pizzas] A trained dolphin could do a better job than you two!

    Jesse: Yeah, but then the pizzas would get all wet.

  • Mr. Pizzacoli: [knocks on the door] Open up, you 2 slackers!

    Jesse and Chester: [quietly] Mr. Pizzacoli!

    Mr. Pizzacoli: You guys left work last night with 30 pizzas that didn't get delivered, and I want some answers!

    Jesse and Chester: [notice the undelivered pizzas around the house] Uh-oh.

    Mr. Pizzacoli: OPEN UP THIS DAMN DOOR!

    Chester: It's open!

    Jesse: OHHH!

    [he hits Chester]

  • Jesse: Look, it's an elephant!

    Mr. Pizzacoli: [turning around] What?

    Jesse: It was just a mailman.

  • Chester: Look, a unicorn!

    [Mr. Pizzacoli looks]

    Mr. Pizzacoli: A unicorn?

    Chester: Sorry, I guess it was just a regular horse.

  • Mr. Pizzacoli: Damn! Now those are some big-ass panties.

  • Zoltan: You gotta activate the...

    Space Nerds: Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam!

    Jesse: What?

    Mr. Pizzacoli: They said The Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam, YOU FOOL!

    Chester: Hurry, activate it, dude!

    [a small panel on the Transfunctioner reads "Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam"]

    Chester: I think that's it, dude.

    Jesse: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

  • Mr. Pizzacoli: I know you've been embezzelin' my pizzas, and I will catch you eventually. And when I do, I swear ta God, you will neva deliver pizzas in this town again!

Browse more character quotes from Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)