Mr. Noyes Quotes in The Draughtsman's Contract (1982)

Mr. Noyes: Madam, you are disingenuous beyond words.

Mr. Noyes: Mr. Lucas was a man whose ethusiasms were divided equally between his garden and his children. Whenever his wife conceived, Mr. Lucas planted fruit trees. His wife seldom came to a successful labor, and those children she was blessed with died before weening. Mr. Lucas threatened to cut his trees down but he never did. To date there are eleven trees in his fruit garden - and he knows them all by their Christian names.

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Mr. Noyes: Mr. Chandos was a man who spent more time with his gardener than his wife. They discussed plum trees - ad nauseam. He gave his family and his tennants cause to dread September, for they were regaled with plums till their guts rumbled like thunder and their backsides ached from overuse. He built the chapel at Fouvant, where the pew seats are made of plumwood, so the tennants still have cause to remember Chandos through their backsides - on account of the splinters.