Mr. McPhee Quotes in Night at the Museum (2006)

Mr. McPhee: [fake laughing] Let's all laugh at me, the comedy night guard. No is the answer. Sarcasm back at you, with your humor box. I wasn't laughing. I was pretending to laugh, if that's what you want, some sort of battle of humor. Do you?

Larry: No, I don't want to get into a battle of humor.

Mr. McPhee: No, you don't, because it would be a bloodbath. Nothing funny about Little Big Horn!

Mr. McPhee: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...

Mr. McPhee: Control your young!