Mr. McLeavy Quotes in Loot (1970)

Mr. Bateman: What's this?

Mr. McLeavy: It's a cold collation, sir.

Mr. Bateman: It's Monday. There's always steak and kidney pudding on Monday.

Mr. McLeavy: Mrs McLeavy *died* this morning, sir.

Mr. Bateman: Your staff problems are not *my* concern!

Mr. McLeavy: Unfortunately she was unable to make a pudding before she went.

Mr. Bateman: I hope this doesn't prove to be a permanent state of affairs.

Mr. McLeavy: Well it is for *her*, sir.

[Mrs McLeavy has just died]

Mr. McLeavy: I'm having her embalmed.

Nurse Fay McMahon: Embalmed? Oh, I'm sure she'd enjoy that. She always used to love her make-up.

Undertaker: Is this your first bereavement, Mr McLeavy?

Mr. McLeavy: Yes it is.

[the undertaker reaches into his pocket and pulls out a booklet]

Undertaker: [reciting mechanically] May I recommend this little booklet. We find it particularly helpful to newcomers to these occasions. You will find therein words of comfort from various sources: the New Testament, the Old Testament, the Talmud and the Koran. Strike out whichever is inapplicable.

Mr. McLeavy: My wife was a Protestant.

Undertaker: It takes all sorts to make a world, sir. Yesterday we buried a vegetarian.

[the hearse carrying Mrs McLeavy crashes and catches fire on the way to her burial]

Mr. McLeavy: Will some gallant soul save her from the flames. She had a mortal fear of being cremated.