Mr. Johnson Quotes in Tiger Heart (1996)

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Mr. Johnson Quotes:

  • Mr. Johnson: What do you mean we're having the bedroom redone? We just had it redone last week.

    Cynthia: I'm having it redone... redone.

    Mr. Johnson: Should I bother to ask why?

    Cynthia: Well, I just read that Sharon Stone is having her bedroom redone in imperial blue. So... I want imperial blue.

    Eric: Keeping up with the Stoneses?

  • Ahmal James: Don't ya'll realize how much they took from us? Yo, Sketch. You know what I'm talking about, right man? Common, they stole our land, man. And our name. And our mother, man. Yo, Mr. Johnson. You know what I'm saying, right?

    Mr. Johnson: Need to get your butt a job, boy.

  • Mr. Johnson: [deleted scene] I want you to change my ASS!

  • Richard Twat: I trust you've slept well?

    Mr Johnson: We had rather a rough night actually.

    Richard Twat: Ah well, the perils of adultery.

  • Mr Johnson: I merely brushed your arm!

    Richard Twat: Well, we have already established that you're a liar, Mr Jones.

    Mr Johnson: Look, Mr Twat...

    Richard Twat: It's pronounced "Thwaite"!

    Mr Johnson: Well, It's spelled twat.

    [pointing at Richie's name on the desk]

    Mr Johnson: T-W-A-T Twat!

    Richard Twat: Could you keep your voice down please? We do have normal guests, as well.

  • Richard Twat: I trust you two both washed.

    Mr Johnson: Actually, the water was cold.

    Richard Twat: That's no reason not to wash, is it? Good grief, we are British, you know. We invented cold showers to stop people masturbating. Oh, I see, maybe that's why you are so upset about the lack of hot water.

  • Mr. Johnson: The responsibility for recording a marriage has always been up to woman. If it wasn't for her, marriage would have disappeared long since. No man is going to jeopardize his present or poison his future with a lot of little brats hollering around the house unless he's forced to. It's up to the woman to knock him down, hogtie him, and drag him in front of two witnesses immediately if not sooner. Anytime after that is too late.

  • Mr. Johnson: I don't deal with spooks. She doesn't need a lawyer, she needs a Medium.

  • Alice Johnson: How was the meeting?

    Mr. Johnson: Sobering.

    Alice Johnson: Very funny.

  • Neaera Duncan: What do you do, exactly?

    Mr. Johnson: Top secret.

Browse more character quotes from Tiger Heart (1996)

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Characters on Tiger Heart (1996)