Mr. Garrison Quotes in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
Mr. Garrison Quotes:
Mr. Garrison: ...I'm Sorry Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
Mr. Garrison: What is five times two?
[No response from the class]
Mr. Garrison: Now come on children, don't be shy, just give it your best shot.
[Clive raises his hand]
Mr. Garrison: OK, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard.
Cartman: [to Kyle] Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?
Kyle: No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!
Mr. Garrison: Kyle!
Cartman: Why the fuck not?
Mr. Garrison: Eric!
Stan: Dude, you just said "fuck" again!
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck-fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck.
Mr. Garrison: [angrily] How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
[the whole class gasps]
Mr. Garrison: [furiously] What did you say?
Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was...
[Cartman picks up a megaphone]
Cartman: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?
[Mr. Garrison is so furious that no word comes out of his mouth]
Stan: Holy shit, dude.
Mr. Garrison: I can't wait to take leave so I can get me some fucking poontang.
Mr. Garrison: All the Baldwins are dead!
Mr. Garrison: Sorry kids, I just can't trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
Cartman: [Realizing he still has Mr. Hat] Why the hell am I still holding this thing for?
[Throws him away]
Mr. Garrison: [From off screen] Mr. Hat, no!
Browse more character quotes from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
Characters on South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
- Mrs. Cartman
- Sheila Broflovski
- Dr. Doctor
- American Representative
- Canadian Representative
- Dr. Vosknocker
- Terrance, Phillip
- Ticket Taker
- Kenny McCormick
- Brian Dennehy
- Bill Gates
- Mr. Mackey
- Big Gay Al
- The Mole
- Eric Cartman
- Canadian Ambassador
- Jimbo Kearn
- Ned Gerblanski
- Billy Baldwin
- Stan Marsh
- George Burns
- Sheila Broslofski
- Voice on Radio
- Woman in Theatre
- Man in Theatre
- Man in Chorus
- Wendy Testeberger
- Sharon Marsh
- Ike Broflovski
- Winona Ryder