Mr. Darcy Quotes in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)

Mr. Bingley: [while at the ball] Darcy, you must dance.

Mr. Darcy: [referring to Jane Bennett] You're dancing with the only handsome girl here.

Mr. Bingley: [referring to Elizabeth Bennett] One of her sisters is also very pretty dare I say. Very agreeable.

Mr. Darcy: [looks over at Elizabeth] Well, she's tolerable. But...

Mr. Bingley: Tolerable?

Mr. Darcy: Yes, tolerable. But not handsome enough tempt me. Nor any other man here apparently.

Elizabeth Bennet: Mr. Darcy, you look as though you are fully mended.

Mr. Darcy: I am. Thank you... If it wasn't for you I'd of surely perished. You have saved me in more ways than one. What you said to me on Hingham Bridge.

Elizabeth Bennet: You heard me?

Mr. Darcy: I did. It gave me hope.

Elizabeth Bennet: For what?

Mr. Darcy: That your feelings towards me may have changed? However one word from you now will silence me on the subject forever. You are the love of my life Elizabeth Bennet. So I ask you now... half in anguish... half in hope... Will you do me the great great honor, of taking me for your husband?

Elizabeth Bennet: [happily] Yes!

Mr. Darcy: [in his letter to Elizabeth] Dear Miss Elizabeth Bennet, I'm not writing to renew the sentiments that were so disgusting to you. But to address the two offenses you accuse me of. I did not intentionally wound your sister. It was a most unfortunate consequence of protecting my dearest friend. Mr. Bingley's feelings for Miss Bennet were beyond any I had ever witnessed in him, or indeed even thought him capable. The evening of the dance at Netherfield, after overhearing your mother coldly stating her intention of having all her daughters marry favorably, I persuaded Bingley of the unfitness of the match. If I have wounded Miss Bennet's feelings it was unknowingly done. As to your other accusation of having injured Mr. Wickham, no sooner had my father made clear his intention to leave Mr. Wickham a handsome sum than Mr. Darcy was mysteriously infected by the plague. It was left to me, his son, to provide a merciful ending.

[beheads the zombie Mr. Darcy, Sr]

Mr. Darcy: Still I gave Wickham the inheritance my father left. Wickham squandered it, whereupon he demanded more and more money. Until I eventually refused. Thereafter he severed all ties with me. Last summer he began a relationship with my 15-year-old sister and convinced her to elope. Mr. Wickham's prime target was her inheritance of 30,000 pounds. But revenging himself on me was a strong additional inducement. Fortunately I was able to persuade my sister of Mr. Wickham's ulterior motives before it was too late.

[walks away with his sister by his side]

Mr. Darcy: I hope this helps explain and perhaps mitigate my behavior in your eyes. Of all weapons in the world, I now know love to be the most dangerous. For I have suffered a mortal wound. When did I fall so deeply under your spell, Miss Bennet? I cannot fix the hour or the spot or the look or the words which lay the foundation. I was in the middle before I knew I began. But a proud fool I was. I have faced the harsh truth: that I can never hope to win your love in this life. And so I sought solace in combat.

[scene flashes to night and London on fire with soldiers fighting zombies]

Mr. Darcy: I write to you from the siege of London. There is now a cunningly designed zombie attack. I sense a dark hand is at work. They are guiding the enemy, Miss Bennet. By taking London they've increased their ranks a hundredfold. Now we endeavor to keep them trapped within the great wall. This isn't the random act of some mindless horde. They struck the palace and both houses. They cut off our head before we could cut off theirs. If we should fail to contain them and they breach Hingham Bridge, It'll be as if a great dam has broken and they'll reach out for us swiftly, and in overwhelming numbers. Dear Miss Bennet. I implore you to be ready.

Mr. Darcy: Miss Bennet, although I know many consider you to be decidedly inferior as a matter of your birth, family and circumstances, my feelings will not be repressed. In vain, I struggled. I've come to feel for you a most ardent admiration and regard which has overcome my better judgment.

[takes a knee]

Mr. Darcy: So now I ask you most fervently to end my turmoil and consent to be my wife.

Elizabeth Bennet: [in slight shock] If I could feel gratitude I would now thank you. But I cannot. I never desired your good opinion. And you've certainly bestowed it most unwillingly.

Mr. Darcy: [to Bingley] Carelessness when dealing with a zombie infection can lead to your abrupt demise.

Elizabeth Bennet: [suddenly at his side] Arrogance can lead to yours.

Mr. Darcy: [irate] Your defect, Ms. Bennet, besides eavesdropping... is to willfully misunderstand people.

Elizabeth Bennet: And yours is to be unjustly prejudiced against them.

George Wickham: The crown's funds are being drained.

Mr. Darcy: [incredulous] You're here to solicit money!

George Wickham: I'm here to propose a venture that would end the war forever. These new zombies can be reasoned with. With the proper funding I believe we can cultivate trust and even good will with this new iteration of the undead, who seem to posses an inherent power of the lower ranks of their kind.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [starts laughing, not believing] Zombie aristocrats?

Parson Collins: [smirking] Oh, really!

George Wickham: I prefer to think of them as souls lost in purgatory.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [considering] Hmm.

George Wickham: The common hordes look to them for leadership. It takes just one of them to realize that power and then to lead the hordes into battle.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh: The undead are like locusts!

Parson Collins: [still smirking] Locusts.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [now determined] They go forth and destroy. They have no use for leaders!

Parson Collins: Oh, uh, except one actually.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [turning] Hmm?

Parson Collins: Oh, well, um, according to the Book of Revelation the antichrist shall lead the undead, uh, on the day that shall be the last day of mankind.

Mr. Darcy: And that her arms are surprisingly muscular, yet not so much as to be unfeminine.

Mr. Darcy: [getting dressed after the inspection] How are you able to discern that the wound from my rib was from fencing?

Priest: I've been at this a long time, my son.

Mr. Darcy: [skeptical, as he walks away] I have no wound.

Mr. Darcy: A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages. She must be well-trained in the fighting styles of the Kyoto masters, and weapons and tactics of modern Europe.

Mr. Bingley: I hate to see you just standing there. You must dance.

Mr. Darcy: Oh, you know I detest it when I'm not acquainted with my partner.

Mr. Darcy: A newly infected zombie is almost impossible to detect. Until they've ingested their first human brains, at which point the transformation accelerates with every subsequent kill.

Parson Collins: Mr. Darcy, I have made the most incredible discovery. Nay, tosh, an extraordinary discovery. Sir, you are the nephew of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

Mr. Darcy: I know.

Mrs. Bennet: I consider dancing to be the first refinement of polished society. Don't you agree, Mr. Darcy?

Mr. Darcy: No, every savage can dance. Why, I imagine that even zombies can do it to some degree of success.

Mr. Darcy: Let's see how reasonable these aristocrats are after their appetites have been whet.

Mr. Darcy: I like a woman with an arse you can park a bike in and balance a pint of beer on.

Mr. Darcy: Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you... I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.

Elizabeth Bennet: I don't understand.

Mr. Darcy: I love you.

Mr. Darcy: You must know... surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.

[last lines]

[US version]

Mr. Darcy: How are you this evening, my dear?

Elizabeth Bennet: Very well... although I wish you would not call me "my dear."

Mr. Darcy: [chuckles] Why?

Elizabeth Bennet: Because it's what my father always calls my mother when he's cross about something.

Mr. Darcy: What endearments am I allowed?

Elizabeth Bennet: Well let me think..."Lizzy" for every day, "My Pearl" for Sundays, and..."Goddess Divine"... but only on *very* special occasions.

Mr. Darcy: And... what should I call you when I am cross? Mrs. Darcy...?

Elizabeth Bennet: No! No. You may only call me "Mrs. Darcy"... when you are completely, and perfectly, and incandescently happy.

Mr. Darcy: [he snickers] Then how are you this evening... Mrs. Darcy?

[kisses her on the forehead]

Mr. Darcy: Mrs. Darcy...

[kisses her on the right cheek]

Mr. Darcy: Mrs. Darcy...

[kisses her on the nose]

Mr. Darcy: Mrs. Darcy...

[kisses her on the left cheek]

Mr. Darcy: Mrs. Darcy...

[finally kisses her on the mouth]

Mr. Darcy: So this is your opinion of me. Thank you for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my honesty...

Elizabeth Bennet: *My* pride?

Mr. Darcy: ...in admitting scruples about our relationship. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?

Elizabeth Bennet: And those are the words of a gentleman. From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.

[they look at each other for a long time as though about to kiss]

Mr. Darcy: Forgive me, madam, for taking up so much of your time.

Elizabeth Bennet: And that put paid to it. I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?

Mr. Darcy: I thought that poetry was the food of love.

Elizabeth Bennet: Of a fine stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclination I'm convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead

Mr. Darcy: So what do you recommend to encourage affection?

Elizabeth Bennet: Dancing. Even if one's partner is barely tolerable.

Elizabeth Bennet: What a beautiful pianoforte.

Georgiana Darcy: My brother gave it to me. He shouldn't have.

Mr. Darcy: Yes, I should've.

Georgiana Darcy: Oh, very well then.

Mr. Darcy: Easily persuaded, is she not?

Elizabeth Bennet: Your unfortunate brother once had to put up with my playing for a whole evening.

Georgiana Darcy: But he says you play so well.

Elizabeth Bennet: Then he has perjured himself most profoundly.

Mr. Darcy: No I said, "played quite well."

Elizabeth Bennet: Oh, "quite well" is not "very well." I'm satisfied.

Elizabeth Bennet: I'm very fond of walking.

Mr. Darcy: Yes... yes I know.

Mr. Darcy: I love you. Most ardently. Please do me the honor of accepting my hand.

Elizabeth Bennet: Sir, I appreciate the struggle you have been through, and I am very sorry to have caused you pain. Believe me, it was unconsciously done.

Mr. Darcy: Is this your reply?

Elizabeth Bennet: Yes, sir.

Mr. Darcy: Are you... are you laughing at me?

Elizabeth Bennet: No.

Mr. Darcy: Are you *rejecting* me?

Elizabeth Bennet: I'm sure that the feelings which, as you've told me have hindered your regard, will help you in overcoming it.

Mr. Darcy: Might I ask why, with so little endeavor at civility, I am thus repulsed?

Elizabeth Bennet: And I might as well enquire why, with so evident a design of insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your better judgment.

Elizabeth Bennet: [as she writes to Jane, Darcy suddenly enters] Mr.Darcy.

[Darcy bows, Elizabeth stands and curtseys]

Elizabeth Bennet: Please, do be seated.

[no reponse]

Elizabeth Bennet: [silence] Mr and Mrs Collins have gone to the village.

Mr. Darcy: [nods and looks around the room] This is a charming house. I believe my aunt did a great deal to it when Mr.Collins first arrived.

Elizabeth Bennet: I believe so. She could not have bestowed her kindness on a more grateful subject.

[more silence, neither one of them know what to say]

Elizabeth Bennet: Shall I call for some tea?

Mr. Darcy: No, thank you.

[a few brief more moments of silence]

Mr. Darcy: Good day, Miss Elizabeth, it's been a pleasure.

[rushes out, passing by Charlotte]

Charlotte Lucas: [to Elizabeth] What have you done to poor Mr.Darcy?

Elizabeth Bennet: ...I have no idea.

Mr. Bingley: [overheard by Charlotte and Elizabeth] But her sister Elizabeth is very agreeable.

Mr. Darcy: Thoroughly tolerable, I dare say, but not handsome enough to tempt *me*. You'd better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles. You're wasting your time with me.

[the two men depart]

Charlotte Lucas: Count your blessings, Lizzy. If he liked you, you'd have to talk to him.

Elizabeth Bennet: Precisely. As it is I wouldn't dance with him for all of Darbyshire, let alone the miserable half.

Mr. Darcy: I... do not have the talent of conversing easily with people I have never met before.

Elizabeth Bennet: Perhaps you should take your aunt's advice and practice?

Caroline Bingley: Miss Elizabeth, let us take a turn about the room.

[Caroline takes Lizzy's arm in hers, and they walk gracefully in a circle around the room]

Caroline Bingley: It's refreshing, is it not after sitting so long in one attitude?

Elizabeth Bennet: And it is a small kind of accomplishment, I suppose.

Caroline Bingley: Will you not join us, Mr. Darcy?

Mr. Darcy: You can only have two motives, Caroline and I would interfere with either.

Caroline Bingley: What can he mean?

Elizabeth Bennet: Our surest way of disappointing him will be to ask him nothing about it.

Caroline Bingley: But Do tell us, Mr. Darcy.

Mr. Darcy: Either you are in each other's confidence and have secret affairs to discuss, or you are conscious that your figures appear to the greatest advantage by walking. If the first, I should get in your way. If the second, I can admire you much better from here.

Mr. Darcy: May I have the next dance, Miss Elizabeth?

Elizabeth Bennet: [taken aback] You may.

Mr. Darcy: Do you talk, as a rule, while dancing?

Elizabeth Bennet: No... No, I prefer to be unsociable and taciturn... Makes it all so much more enjoyable, don't you think?

[Mr. Darcy walks next to the piano]

Elizabeth Bennet: You mean to frighten me, Mr. Darcy, by coming in all your state to hear me, but I won't be alarmed even if your sister does play so well.

Mr. Darcy: I am well enough acquainted with you, Miss Elizabeth, to know that I can not alarm you, even should I wish it.

Elizabeth Bennet: Are you too proud Mr. Darcy? And would you consider pride a fault or a virtue?

Mr. Darcy: That I couldn't say.

Elizabeth Bennet: Because we're doing our best to find a fault in you.

Mr. Darcy: Maybe it's that I find it hard to forgive the follies and vices of others, or their offenses against me. My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.

Elizabeth Bennet: Oh, dear, I cannot tease you about that. What a shame, for I dearly love to laugh.

Caroline Bingley: A family trait, I think.

Mr. Bingley: [Practicing proposing, with Mr. Darcy as Jane] Miss Bennett.

Mr. Darcy: [Bows] Mr. Bingley.

Caroline Bingley: [Elizabeth enters the room, Darcy stands. Caroline is appalled] Good Lord, Miss Elizabeth. Did you walk here?

Elizabeth Bennet: I did.

[long pause]

Elizabeth Bennet: I'm so sorry. How is my sister?

Mr. Darcy: She's upstairs.

Elizabeth Bennet: [another pause; she smiles and curtseys] Thank you.

[she leaves the room]

Caroline Bingley: My goodness, did you see her hem? Six inches deep in mud. She looked positively mediaeval.

Mr. Bingley: I've never seen so many pretty girls in my life!

Mr. Darcy: You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room.

Mr. Bingley: She is the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld. But her sister Elizabeth is very agreeable.

Mr. Darcy: Thoroughly tolerable, I daresay, but not handsome enough to tempt me. You'd better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles. You're wasting your time with me.

Elizabeth Bennet: I thought you were in London.

Mr. Darcy: No... No. I'm not.

Mr. Darcy: Are you so severe on your own sex?

Elizabeth Bennet: I never saw such a woman. She would certainly be a fearsome thing to behold.

Elizabeth Bennet: Do you dance, Mr. Darcy?

Mr. Darcy: Not if I can help it.

Elizabeth Bennet: If I was uncivil, then that is some excuse. But I have other reasons, you know I have.

Mr. Darcy: What reasons?

Elizabeth Bennet: Do you think anything might tempt me to accept the hand of the man who has ruined, perhaps for ever, the happiness of a most beloved sister? Do you deny that you separated a young couple who loved each other, exposing your friend to censure of the world for caprice and my sister to derision for disappointed hopes, involving them both in misery of the acutest kind?

Mr. Darcy: I do not deny it.

Elizabeth Bennet: How could you do it?

Mr. Darcy: And are you having a pleasant trip?

Elizabeth Bennet: Yes... very pleasant.

Mr. Darcy: Tell me, do you and your sisters very often walk to Meryton?

Elizabeth Bennet: Yes, we often walk to Meryton. It's a great opportunity to meet new people. In fact, when you met us, we'd just had the pleasure of forming a new acquaintance.

Mr. Darcy: Mr Wickham's blessed with such happy manners, as may ensure his making friends. Whether he is capable of retaining them, is less certain.

Elizabeth Bennet: He's been so unfortunate as to lose your friendship. I dare say that is an irreversible event.

Mr. Darcy: It is. Why do you ask such a question?

Elizabeth Bennet: To make out your character.

Mr. Darcy: What have you discovered?

Elizabeth Bennet: Very little. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.

Mr. Darcy: I hope to afford you more clarity in the future.

Mr. Darcy: Mr. Gardiner, are you fond of fishing?

Mr. Gardiner: Oh, very much.

Mr. Darcy: Can I persuade you to accompany me down to the lake this afternoon? It's very well-stocked, and its inhabitants have been left in peace for far too long.

Mr. Gardiner: I would be delighted.

Mr. Darcy: Yes, she looks tolerable enough, but I am in no humor tonight to give consequence to the middle classes at play.

Caroline Bingley: ...and her sisters Jane and Elizabeth were seen running down Market Street in an attempt to escape their disgrace. Isn't that exquisitely funny, Mr. Darcy?

Mr. Darcy: Exquisitely. Just think how you would roar with laughter if it happened to yourself.

Mr. Darcy: I rather admired what you did this afternoon Miss Elizabeth. Your resentment of what you believe to be an injustice showed courage and loyalty. I could wish i might possess a friend who would defend me as ably as Mr. Wickham was defended today.

Mr. Bennett: At this moment it's difficult to believe that you're so proud.

Mr. Darcy: At this moment it's difficult to believe that you're so prejudiced.

Mr. Darcy: I have made the mistake of being honest with you.

Elizabeth Bennet: Honesty is a greatly overrated virtue. Silence in this case would have been more agreeable.

Mr. Darcy: You must allow me to tell you how much I admire and love you.