Mr. Collins Quotes in An American Werewolf in London (1981)

Mr. Collins: These dumb ass kids. They never appreciate what you do for them.

Mr. Collins: You were keeping her sick.

Mr. Collins: It's been many years since I had such an exemplary vegetable.

Mr. Bennet: How happy for you, Mr. Collins, to possess a talent for flattering with such... delicacy.

Elizabeth Bennet: Do these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?

Mr. Collins: They arise chiefly from what is passing of the time. And though I do sometimes amuse myself with arranging such little elegant compliments, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible.

Elizabeth Bennet: Oh, believe me, no one would suspect your manners to be rehearsed.

Mr. Collins: Charlotte, come here.

Charlotte Lucas: Has the pig escaped again?

[looks out window]

Charlotte Lucas: Oh. It's Lady Catherine.

Mr. Collins: ...which are only to be obtained through intercourse...

[pause, thunder]

Mr. Collins: Forgive me... through the intercourse of friendship or civility.

Mr. Collins: Mrs. Bennet I was hoping, if it would not trouble you, that I might solicit a private audience with Miss Elizabeth in the course of the morning.

Mrs. Bennet: Oh, yes. Certainly. Lizzy will be very happy indeed. Everyone, out. Mr. Collins would like a private audience with your sister.

Elizabeth Bennet: No, no, wait, please. I beg you. Mr. Collins can have nothing to say to me that anybody need not hear.

Mrs. Bennet: No nonsense, Lizzy. I desire you will stay where you are. Everyone else to the drawing room. Mr. Bennet?

Mr. Bennet: But...

Mrs. Bennet: Now.

Mr. Collins: Mr. Collins at your service.

Mr. Collins: Do not make yourself uneasy, my dear cousin, about your apparel.

Charlotte Lucas: Just put on whatever you bought that's best.

Mr. Collins: Lady Catherine has never been averse to the truly humble.

Mr. Collins: [regarding Lady Catherine] My small rectory abuts her estate.

Elizabeth Bennet: Sir, I am honored by your proposal, but I regret that I must decline it.

Mr. Collins: I know ladies don't seek to seem too eager...

Elizabeth Bennet: Mr Collins, I am perfectly serious. You could not make me happy. And I'm the last woman in the world who could make you happy.

Mr. Collins: I flatter myself that your refusal is merely a natural delicacy. Besides, despite manifold attractions, it is by no means certain another offer of marriage will ever be made to you. I must conclude that you simply seek to increase my love by suspense, according to the usual practice of elegant females.

Elizabeth Bennet: I am not the sort of female to torment a respectable man. Please understand me, I cannot accept you.