Mr. Cobra Bubbles Quotes in Lilo & Stitch (2002)

Lilo: Hey! Three days ago, I bought Stitch at the shelter. I paid two dollars for him. See this stamp? I own him. If you take him, you're stealing.

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Aliens are all about rules.

Grand Councilwoman: You look familiar.

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: CIA. Roswell. 1973.

Grand Councilwoman: Ah, yes. You had hair then.

Nani: Lilo! There you are, honey face! This is Mr..."Bubbles".

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Nice to meet you.

Lilo: Your knuckles say "cobra"..."Cobra Bubbles"... you don't *look* like a social worker.

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: I'm a special classification.

Lilo: Did you ever kill anyone?

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: We're getting off the subject. Let's talk about you. Are you... happy?

Lilo: I'm adjusted.

[Repeats what Nani is signing to her behind Bubbles' back]

Lilo: I eat all four food groups, and look both ways before crossing the street... and take long naps...

[Nani pumps her fist in triumph]

Lilo: and get disciplined?

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Disciplined?

Lilo: Yeah! She disciplines me real good.

[Nani holds out here hand in "stop" gesture]

Lilo: Sometimes five times a day! With bricks!

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Bricks?

Lilo: Uh huh... in a pillow case...

Nani: Okay, that's enough sugar for you! Why don't you run along now, you little cutie. The other social workers just thought she was a scream. Thirsty?

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Let me illuminate to you the precarious situation in which you have found yourself. I am the one they call when things go wrong, and things have indeed gone wrong.

Nani: CIA?

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Former. Saved the planet once. Convinced an alien race mosquitoes were an endangered species.

Grand Councilwoman: Take note of this. This creature is hereby sentenced to life in exile, a sentence that shall be henceforth served out here, on Earth. And as caretaker of the alien lifeform Stitch, this family is hereby under the protection of the United Intergalactic Federation. We'll be checking in now and then.

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: I was afraid you were going to say that. This won't be easy to explain back at headquarters.

Grand Councilwoman: I know what you mean.

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Heard you lost your job.

Nani: Well... I just quit that job, because the hours are just not conducive to raising a child...

[Stitch hits Cobra in the face with a ball]

Nani: Hey!

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: What is that?

Lilo: That's my puppy.

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Really?

[Adjusts neck]

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Thus far you have been adrift in the sheltered harbor of my patience, but I cannot tolerate you being jobless. Do I make myself clear?

Nani: Perfectly.

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: And next time I see that dog, I want him to be a model citizen. Capisce?

Lilo: Uh... yes?

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: New job. Model citizen.

[Puts on sunglasses; one of the lenses pops off]

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Good day.

[meeting the social worker after damaging his car]

Nani: Hi... uh... you must be, the, uh...

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: The "stupidhead."

Nani: Oh. Ohhhh! Oh, you know, I'm *really* sorry about that, and if I had known who you were, of course I never would've... I can pay for that.

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: It's a rental. Are you the guardian in question?

Nani: Yes. I'm Nani, nice to meet you Mr...

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Bubbles.

Nani: Mr. Bubbles? That's a strange...

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Yes, I know. Are you going to invite me in, Nani?

Lilo: [as Cobra holds her, she explains the explosion] One of them had a giant eye in the middle of his face.

Nani: [runs to take Lilo] Oh, Lilo.

[Cobra places Lilo in the car and closes the door]

Nani: Please don't do this.

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: You know I have no choice.

Nani: No! You're not taking her! I'm the only one who understands her! You take that away, she won't stand a chance!

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: You're making this harder than it needs to be.

Nani: But you don't know what you're doing! She needs me!

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: [points to the exploded house] IS THIS WHAT SHE NEEDS? It seems clear to me that you need her a lot more than she needs you.