Mr. Chairman Quotes in Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)

Mr. Chairman: There is a DUCK in the middle of the picture. Remove the DUCK.

Mr. Chairman: This is unacceptable. We cannot have nine-year-olds working in sweatshops making ACME goods... when three-year-olds work for so much less...

[all the VPs reach for their buzzers. The VP of Child Labor gets to his first]

Acme VP, Child Labor: But they require naps, sir.

Mr. Chairman: Put double espresso in their sippy cups.

Mr. Chairman: Y'all Monkeys yet?

Mr. Chairman: [to Kate] I've seen the way you look at me - I know I'm hot.

Kate Houghton: Ugh!

Mr. Chairman: [Referring to the screen showing DJ's dad about to meet his demise] Here is you father tied up on the tracks, and here is the train of death right on schedule. You see Mr. Drake, if the train of death doesn't kill your father, then maybe those crates of TNT will, not to mention the two ton anvil hanging over his head, and...

Mr. Chairman: [Noticing the pendulum of doom] Oh, and look there's the pendulum of doom! What's the pendulum of doom doing there? I did not order the pendulum of doom!

Mr. Chairman: [On the intercom with Wily E. Coyote] That's overkill! Get rid of it!

Mr. Chairman: My God, man, what am I going to do with you? You've done nothing but screw up. You've walked off of mesas, been smashed by boulders, and run over by diesel trucks. And don't blame the equipment. The equipment is good. It's Acme equipment. You're a coyote. Be wily.

[Mr. Chairman decides to send the Tasmanian Devil to retrieve the Blue Monkey]

Acme VP, Never Learning: [presses buzzer] Sir, while we agree that the Tasmanian Devil is extremely vicious, if memory serves he is also incredibly stupid.

Mr. Chairman: Really? Well so are you!

[Mr. Chairman opens the cage holding the Tasmanian Devil, who heads out of shot. The sounds of a fight are heard, before the Tasmanian Devil returns to his cage. The camera pans back to VP, Never Learning, who has been reduced to just a skeleton]

Acme VP, Never Learning: [presses buzzer] I withdraw my objection.

Mr. Chairman: Chair people, I reveal to you... the whereabouts of the Blue Monkey

[laughs, then plugs the phone in the table and the map appears with Daffy in it]

Mr. Chairman: ... There's a duck in the middle of the map, remove the duck... Remove the Duck! The duck is in the mid... Duck!

[Throws the phone at the screen and breaks it]

Mr. Chairman: ... Oh... Now, we cannot let a boy, a girl, and a duck and a rabbit thwart our plans for global domination!

Damien Drake: Wanna bet?

Mr. Chairman: A Wager?

Damien Drake: $5 dollars says my son will scuttle your diabolicle plans and save the world.

Mr. Chairman: You're awfully spunky for a man in your position

[Uses the controls to make Damien slap himself in the face]

Mr. Chairman: ... How do you like that, Mr. Slap-Yourself-In-Your-Own-Face"?

[Gives the controls to the Laboratory Scientist]

Mr. Chairman: [to the Scientist] Give him a good zets every once in a while

[gives the controls to the scientist]

Mr. Chairman: .

Laboratory Scientist: My pleasure

[then continues making Damien slap himself]

Laboratory Scientist: .

Mr. Chairman: [reading Penny's message]

[clears throat]

Mr. Chairman: "To Morningside Orphanage, New York." Hmm. Most difficult to decipher. I can't make it out.

Miss Bianca: "I am... In a terrible... terrible trouble." Oh. Oh, dear. It's all watered out. "H-h-hurry! Help! Penny."

Mr. Chairman: Penny? Morningside Orphanage? Huh! Dash it all, it's not much to go on, is it?

Miss Bianca: Oh! Oh, that poor little girl.

Miss Bianca: Oh, that poor little girl. Oh, Mr. Chairman, can I please have this assignment?

Mr. Chairman: You? Miss Bianca? Why, this is unprecedented. I mean, It's not like it was in the old days, when it was a man's world. But, I guess there's a first time for everything.