Mr. Bruner Quotes in The Edge of Seventeen (2016)

Mr. Bruner: [reading a text sent by Nadine to a boy she has a crush on] "You're complicated, and simple, and I feel this connection between us. I feel like I already know you." This is kinda sweet, I think you're overreacting. "I just want to be with you. I want to give you... head. I want you to put your mouth on my tits. I want to feel you inside me. We can do it in the Petland stockroom."

Nadine: Say something... Oh my God, say something! Please, help me!

Mr. Bruner: You need to watch out for run-on sentences.

Mr. Bruner: Wow. I actually was writing my own suicide note just now. I have 32 fleeting minutes of happiness during lunch, which has been eaten up again and again by the same especially badly dressed student, and I finally thought I would rather have the dark nothingness.

Nadine: What the... why is that baby in your house?

Mr. Bruner: Oh shit! How the hell that thing get in here?

Nadine: Hey.

Mr. Bruner: Busy.

Nadine: I don't wanna take up a ton of your time, but I'm gonna kill myself. I just thought an adult should know.

Mr. Bruner: Look, I'm not very good at this kinda thing. But I think we both know what needs to be said right now. So, I'm just gonna come right out and say it.

[pause]

Mr. Bruner: Get out of the car.

Nadine: You know what? I'm gonna go ahead, and I'm gonna tell you the real reason I'm having my lunch with you today. You see, I don't really have any friends, at the moment, and, to be completely honest with you, I'm not interested. At all. My entire generation is a bunch of mouth breathers. They literally have a seizure if you take their phone away for a second, they can't communicate without emojis, and they actually think that the world wants to know that they are "eating a taco, exclamation point, smiley face, smiley face", like we give a fuck. I... am an old soul. I like old music, and old movies, and even old people. I have nothing in common with the people out there, and they have nothing in common with me.

Mr. Bruner: Nadine?

Nadine: Max?

Mr. Bruner: Maybe... nobody likes you.

Nadine: [pause] You're a dick.

Mr. Bruner: Life's about taking risks. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

[Nadine is sleeping at the desk in an empty classroom]

Mr. Bruner: [whispering] Nadine!

[taps at her temple with his finger]

Mr. Bruner: Nadine...

Nadine: [Sleepily, eyes closed] Hmm?

Mr. Bruner: Hey... Wake up. You had a brain operation. It worked! They've made you pleasant and agreeable.

[Nadine looks at him annoyed]

Mr. Bruner: Ah, just wishful daydreaming. The bell rang. Leave. Please.

Mr. Bruner: Are you having a problem today, Nadine?

Nadine: Several. I don't really have any friends at the moment.

[first lines]

Nadine: Look I don't wanna take up a ton of your time, but I'm gonna kill myself. I just thought someone should know. I don't really know how this works. I'm probably gonna jump off an overpass in front of a semi, so... Or U-Haul, maybe, just not a bus. I'm not gonna be a dick and make people watch, but it has to be big; it's gotta be so big that it just...

[snaps her fingers]

Nadine: Done; kills me. Lights out. 'Cause if it just maims me, and I'm like...

[imitates differently abled person]

Nadine: Well then how's that good for anyone? Then I gotta find a nurse to smother me. How am I gonna get across *smothering* if I'm...

[imitates differently abled person again]

Nadine: We don't need to get caught up in the minutia; I just thought that an adult, s- you should know.

Mr. Bruner: Wow. This is, uh... A lot to take in, Nadine; I- I wish I knew what to say. Well, I was actually drafting my own suicide note just now.