Mr. Brown Quotes in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

Norrington: Good work, Mr. Brown. You've assisted in the capture of a dangerous fugitive.

Mr. Brown: Just doing my civic duty, sir.

Norrington: Well, I trust it you will always remember this as the day that Captain Jack Sparrow *almost* escaped. Take him away.

Bud Carmody: Jesus Christ, what was that?

Mr. Brown: What was what?

Bud Carmody: I didn't know these things went backwards.

Mr. Brown: Now you know.

Bud Carmody: What's he going to do?

Mr. Brown: You wouldn't want me to s-s-spoil the surprise, would you?

Executive on Train: Would you gentlemen mind telling me what you're doing?

Mr. Brown: Yeah, I would.

Mr. Brown: [entering a bar holding nine-year-old Christy] This is Christy Brown, my son. Genius.

Lily: Evangeline, do you love Papa?

Evangeline: Of course not! I know my place. That wouldn't be right. I mean... yes.

Lily: Papa, do you love Evangeline?

Mr. Brown: What are you saying? That- that would be totally improper. I mean a thing like that could- could never happen. I mean, obviously... yes.

Mr. Brown: Nanny McPhee! Now she can't take the donkey, so what have you done?

Nanny McPhee: I have done nothing, sir. The children have decided amongst themselves.

Mr. Brown: Decided what?

Great Aunt Adelaide: [off in distance] There you are, my dear.

Mr. Brown: Not little Chrissy.

[runs from the house]

Mr. Brown: Chrissy!

Great Aunt Adelaide: [in the carriage] Now my dear, tell me your name.

Mr. Brown: [bolts down the road] Chrissy!

Nanny McPhee: Tell me your name.

Mr. Brown: [in the forest] Chrissy!

Great Aunt Adelaide: Sit up straight, and tell me your name.

Mr. Brown: [the carriage fades in the distance] NO! Christianna!

Christianna: Papa! Papa!

[races into her father's arms and hugs him]

Mr. Brown: Oh thank...

[the other children run up to him]

Mr. Brown: all of you? Oh... Then who is?

Evangeline: [raises head for Aunt Adelaide to see] Evangeline... My name is Evangeline.

Mr. Brown: [monologue] I was confident that there was nothing they could do to upset her.

Nanny Whetstone: [charges into the mortuary screaming] THEY'VE EATEN THE BABY!

Mr. Brown: [monologue] Except that.

Mr. Brown: I must marry Quickly.

Mr. Brown: Milk?

Great Aunt Adelaide: Definitely not! Most unhealthy!

Mr. Brown: Sugar?

Great Aunt Adelaide: Six, if you please.

Mr. Brown: Six...

Mr. Brown: I can't support my own family. I never have been able to. There are so many of you. But You're all so delicious. When Aggy came along and your mother was so ill, I said to her, "I think we will have to stop now, dear," and she said... She said, "I know."

Mr. Brown: It wasn't really the baby they were eating. It was a chicken, actually.

[picks up a violin]

Mr. Brown: Simon, cricket practice.

Mr. Brown: Mr Reade...

Clemson Reade: Oh, good evening.

Clemson Reade: I've been waiting to talk with you.

Mr. Brown: Really? Anything wrong?

Mr. Brown: Yes. It's about that, er, bearded gentleman.

Clemson Reade: You mean our friendly skyscraper?

Mr. Brown: He's been trying to buy our chambermaids!

Clemson Reade: He has?

Mr. Brown: Yes. He's been offering them positions in the Khan's harem.

Clemson Reade: I hope he hasn't offended them.

Mr. Brown: Offended them? Six of the girls have already accepted.

Mr. Pink: Hey, why am I Mr. Pink?

Joe: Because you're a faggot, alright?

Mr. Pink: Why can't we pick our own colors?

Joe: No way, no way. Tried it once, it doesn't work. You get four guys all fighting over who's gonna be Mr. Black, but they don't know each other, so nobody wants to back down. No way. I pick. You're Mr. Pink. Be thankful you're not Mr. Yellow.

Mr. Brown: Yeah, but Mr. Brown, that's a little too close to Mr. Shit.

Mr. Pink: Mr. Pink sounds like Mr. Pussy. How 'bout if I'm Mr. Purple? That sounds good to me. I'll be Mr. Purple.

Joe: You're not Mr. Purple. Some guy on some other job is Mr. Purple. Your Mr. PINK.

Mr. White: Who cares what your name is?

Mr. Pink: Yeah, that's easy for your to say, you're Mr. White. You have a cool-sounding name. Alright look, if it's no big deal to be Mr. Pink, do you wanna trade?

Joe: Hey! NOBODY'S trading with ANYBODY. This ain't a goddamn, fucking city council meeting, you know? Now listen up, Mr. Pink. There's two ways you can go on this job: my way or the highway. Now what's it gonna be, Mr. Pink?

Mr. Pink: Jesus Christ, Joe, fucking forget about it. It's beneath me. I'm Mr. Pink. Let's move on.

Joe: I'll move on when I feel like it... All you guys got the goddamn message?... I'm so goddamn mad, hollering at you guys I can hardly talk. Pssh. Let's go to work.

[first lines]

Mr. Brown: Let me tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The entire song. It's a metaphor for big dicks.

Mr. Blonde: No, no. It's about a girl who is very vulnerable. She's been fucked over a few times. Then she meets some guy who's really sensitive...

Mr. Brown: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... Time out Greenbay. Tell that fucking bullshit to the tourists.

Joe: Toby... Who the fuck is Toby? Toby...

Mr. Brown: 'Like a Virgin' is not about this sensitive girl who meets a nice fella. That's what "True Blue" is about, now, granted, no argument about that.

Mr. Orange: Which one is 'True Blue'?

Nice Guy Eddie: 'True Blue' was a big ass hit for Madonna. I don't even follow this Tops In Pops shit, and I've at least heard of "True Blue".

Mr. Orange: Look, asshole, I didn't say I ain't heard of it. All I asked was how does it go? Excuse me for not being the world's biggest Madonna fan.

Mr. Blonde: Personally, I can do without her.

Mr. Blue: I like her early stuff. You know, 'Lucky Star', 'Borderline' - but once she got into her 'Papa Don't Preach' phase, I don't know, I tuned out.

Mr. Brown: Hey, you guys are making me lose my... train of thought here. I was saying something, what was it?

Joe: Oh, Toby was this Chinese girl, what was her last name?

Mr. White: What's that?

Joe: I found this old address book in a jacket I ain't worn in a coon's age. What was that name?

Mr. Brown: What the fuck was I talking about?

Mr. Pink: You said 'True Blue' was about a nice girl, a sensitive girl who meets a nice guy, and that 'Like a Virgin' was a metaphor for big dicks.

Mr. Brown: Lemme tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.

Mr. Blue: How many dicks is that?

Mr. White: A lot.

Mr. Brown: Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfucker and it's like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in the 'Great Escape', he's digging tunnels. Now, she's gettin' the serious dick action and she's feeling something she ain't felt since forever. Pain. Pain.

Joe: Chew? Toby Chew?

Mr. Brown: It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her, you know, her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat fucks her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a fuck machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, 'Like a Virgin'.

Joe: Wong?

Mr. Brown: [after Joe assigns names] Yeah, yeah, but "Mr. Brown"? That's little too close to "Mr. Shit".

Mr. Pink: Yeah, "Mr. Pink" sounds like "Mr. Pussy". Tell you what, let me be Mr. Purple. That sounds good to me. I'm Mr. Purple.

Joe: You're *not* Mr. Purple. Somebody from another job's Mr. Purple. You're Mr. Pink!

Mr. Brown: I'm blind, man. I'm fucking blind.

Mr. Orange: You're not blind, you've just got blood in your eyes.

Mr. Brown: [after Mr. Pink's tipping conversation] Jesus Christ!

Leonard Diamond: She's under arrest, Mr. Brown.

Mr. Brown: What's the charge?

Leonard Diamond: Homicide.

Mr. Brown: That's ridiculous, she wouldn't kill a fly.

Leonard Diamond: She tried to kill herself

Mr. Brown: Is that a crime?

Leonard Diamond: It happens to be against two laws: God's and Man's. I'm booking her under the second.

Mr. Brown: I'm gonna give you a break. I'm gonna fix it, so you don't hear the bullets.

[Removes a character's hearing aid]

Mr. Brown: Now, Benny, who runs the world? Do you have any idea?

Bennie Smith: Not me, Mr. Brown.

Mr. Brown: That's right, not you, but a funny thing, they're not so much different from you, but they've got something. They've got it, and they use it. I've got it;

[pointing to McClure]

Mr. Brown: he hasn't. What is it, Benny? What makes the difference...? Hate! Hate is the word, Benny! Hate the man that tries to beat you. Kill 'em, Benny! Kill 'em! Hate him till you see red, and you'll come out winning the big money, and the girls will come tumblin' after. You'll have to shut off the phone and lock the door to get a night's rest.

Mr. Brown: Diamond, the only trouble with you is, you'd like to be me. You'd like to have my organization, my influence, my fix. You can't, it's impossible. You think it's money. It's not. It's personality. You haven't got it. You're a cop. Slow. Steady. Intelligent. With a bad temper and a gun under your arm. With a big yen for a girl you can't have. First is first and second is nobody.

Mr. Brown: Joe, tell the man I'm gonna break him so fast, he won't have time to change his pants. Tell him the next time I see him, he'll be in the lobby of the hotel, crying like a baby and asking for a ten dollar loan. Tell him that. And tell him I don't break my word.

Leonard Diamond: You must have done something pretty fine to get as high as you are, Mr. Brown. I'm looking into that. I'm gonna open you up, and I'm gonna operate. I hate to think of what I'll find.

Mr. Brown: So you lost. Next time you'll win. I'll show you how. Take a look at Joe McClure here. He used to be my boss, now I'm his. What's the difference between me and him? We breathe the same air, sleep in the same hotel. He used to own it!

[yelling into McClure's sound magnifier that is in his ear]

Mr. Brown: Now it belongs to me. We eat the same steaks, drink the same bourbon. Look, same manicure,

[lifting and pointing at McClure's hand]

Mr. Brown: same cufflinks. But there's only one difference. We don't get the same girls. Why? Because women know the difference. They got instinct. First is first, and second is nobody.

Joe McClure: Mr. Brown is a very reasonable man. You don't know him.

Leonard Diamond: Oh, is he? Well I'm not. I intend to make life very difficult for your Mr. Brown.

Joe McClure: You shouldn't talk like that, Lieutenant. You're overstepping your authority.

Mr. Brown: Joe, the man has reason to hate me. His salary is $96.50 a week. The busboys in my hotel make better money than that. Don't you see, Joe? He's a righteous man.

Mr. Brown: I think Mr. Diamond needs a drink. Got any liquor?

Fante: How about some paint thinner?

Mr. Brown: No, that'll kill him. Anything else?

Fante: Hair tonic, 40% alcohol.

Mr. Brown: Fine.

Mr. Brown: Why did you do it, Joe?

Joe McClure: I told you, he pulled a gun on me.

Mr. Brown: I'm trying to run an impersonal business. Killing is very personal. Once it gets started, it's hard to stop.

Mr. Brown: Book me, Small Change.

Leonard Diamond: Alright, take him out, Sam.

Sam Hill: To the bullpen?

Leonard Diamond: No, back to the gutter.

Mr. Brown: Where'd you get that outfit?

Susan Lowell: What's wrong with it?

Mr. Brown: I like you better in white. You've got a dozen white dresses. Why don't you wear them?

Susan Lowell: White doesn't please me anymore.

Mr. Brown: A woman dresses for a man. You dress for me. Go put on something white!

Joe McClure: I guess I'm getting too old to handle a gun.

Mr. Brown: Yeah, maybe you're just getting too old, Joe.

Mr. Brown: If they take you to police headquarters, shoot yourself in the head. It'll make everything a lot simpler.

Leonard Diamond: I'll wait until I can put you on trial for murder.

Mr. Brown: Whose murder, Lieutenant?

Leonard Diamond: Mine, if necessary.

Mr. Brown: Don't push too hard.

Leonard Diamond: It's my sworn duty to push too hard.

Mr. Brown: Diamond, the only trouble with you is, you'd like to be me. You'd like to have my organization, my influence, my fix. You can't. It's impossible. You think it's money, it's not. It's personality. You haven't got it, Lieutenant, you're a cop. Slow, steady, intelligent, with a bad temper, and a gun under your arm. And with a big yen for a girl you can't have. First is first, and second is nobody.

Joe McClure: He pulled a gun on me. What did you want me to do?

Mr. Brown: With your kind of brain, there's nothing else you could do.

Mr. Brown: Don't worry about the way the world's run, lad. Enjoy it while you're young.