Mr. Briggs Quotes in Not Another Teen Movie (2001)

Janey: I read Sylvia Plath, I listen to Bikini Kill and I eat Tofu. I am a unique rebel.

Mitch: It sounds more like you're a lesbo.

Mr. Briggs: Hey, Mitch, now leave your sister alone.

Janey: Thank you, daddy.

Mr. Briggs: If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher, that's her decision.

Mr. Briggs: [to Janey] Good night, Pumpkin Tits.

Mr. Briggs: Hey, uhh... I might be late to pick you guys up.

Janey Briggs: Why, do you have a job interview today, Daddy?

Mr. Briggs: No honey, I-I'll probably just be way too drunk.

Janey Briggs: Oh, that's good. We don't want you drinking and driving.

Mr. Briggs: Oh, I'll be driving. I'll just be too shit-faced to remember to pick you guys up.

Janey Briggs: Okay. Bye, Daddy.

[kisses him on the cheek]

Mr. Briggs: Bye, Pumpkinhead.

Janey: Daddy, there's this boy, Jake...

Mr. Briggs: [Concerned] Oh, honey, Jake knocked you up!

Janey: [Horrified] What? No!