Mpudi Quotes in The Gods Must Be Crazy (1980)

Mpudi: [looking at Steyn in a suit] And why are you so beautiful?

Steyn: I'm going to the school to give her these.

Mpudi: You gonna look like that?

Steyn: Like what?

Mpudi: Like it's a funeral. You've gotta smile, man, and tell her she looks good.

Steyn: How come suddenly you're an expert on women?

Mpudi: I got seven wives. How many you got?

Steyn: So why aren't you at home with your seven wives?

Mpudi: I know how to marry them. Nobody knows how to live with them.

Steyn: So, what did you marry them for?

Mpudi: Someday I have to tell you the facts of life...

Mpudi: [Riding in the LandRover] So how did this thing get up the tree?

Steyn: She was stuck in a wait-a-bit tree, and I... do you know she has flowers on her panties?

Mpudi: So that's how this thing got up the tree.

[Xi has been thrown in jail]

Mpudi: They gave him the death sentence.

Steyn: For shooting a GOAT?

Mpudi: No. Three months in jail. Same thing, he gonna die for sure. He never seen a wall in his life, now he got walls all round him.

Mpudi: I'm teaching him how to drive, just for the hell of it. There's nothing else to do around here.

[Xi bids Steyn and Mpudi farewell]

Mpudi: He says thank you, and goodbye, and hopes you have lots of children.

Steyn: Tell him thanks, and to take this...

[holds out a wad of money]

Mpudi: He can't use that stuff.

Steyn: But I have to...

Mpudi: Bushmen don't know about money.

Steyn: [looking around] Well, what else can I give him...?

Mpudi: There's nothing here he can use. Bushmen don't need these things.

Steyn: But he's got to take the money, it's the law!

[Steyn gives Xi the money, who bids them farewell and leaves. Later on, he throws the money away]

Mpudi: He talks about an evil thing.

[after seeing the truck in the tree]

Mpudi: What the hell did you do that for?

[Xi looks through a telescope and chatters]

Mpudi: [chuckles] He wants to know, how did all those people get in there?

Steyn: No. no, they're not... they're not in there. They're...

[smiles a little]

Steyn: [to Mpudi] You explain.

[Steyn and Mpudi have finished defeating the bandits and saving Kate. Kate only sees Jack Hind, who has shown up at the last moment , picked up a gun, and taken charge]

Mpudi: How come suddenly HE's the big hero?

Mpudi: You gonna look like that forever?

Steyn: Like what?

Mpudi: Like Jack Hind is a better man than you!

Steyn: No. I'm going to talk to her.

Mpudi: Yeah! Tell her YOU were the big hero!

Steyn: [Paces back and forth, not noticing he's continually hitting his head on the lantern] No, I can't do that. But I do want to talk to her. I'll tell her, I'll say "Look, Miss Thompson. I know you think I'm an idiot, but normally I'm quite normal. It's only when I'm in the presence of a lady that I... It's really just an interesting psychological phenomenon. If a man who is susceptible to a type of para-Freudian syndrome like this encounters a nubile female, what happens?"

Mpudi: I suppose another big word happens.

Steyn: Too erudite?

Mpudi: Yeah, whatever that means.

Steyn: Okay. I'll put it more simply. I'll say, "Look, Miss Thompson... Kate, Kate... It's really only an interesting psychological phenomenon." She'll understand that bit, she's a schoolteacher. I'll say, "When there's no lady present, I can catch an insect without hurting it." If she knew me better, she'd see I'm not a stumblebum. All I need is a little practice. If I...

[gets in the Land Rover while talking]

Mpudi: Wait for me! You need some moral support!