Morticia Quotes in The Addams Family (1991)


Morticia Quotes:

  • Morticia: Gomez.

    Gomez: Querida?

    Morticia: Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again!

  • Morticia: Children, what are you doing?

    Wednesday: I'm going to electrocute him.

    Morticia: But we're late for the charity auction.

    Wednesday: But, Mother...

    Morticia: I said no.

    Pugsley: Pleeaaaase?

    Morticia: Oh, all right.

  • Gomez: How long has it been since we've waltzed?

    Morticia: Oh, Gomez... hours.

  • Morticia: And our credo: "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc." We gladly feast on those who would subdue us. Not just pretty words.

  • Morticia: When we first met years ago, it was an evening much like this. Magic in the air. A boy.

    Gomez: A girl.

    Morticia: An open grave. It was my first funeral.

    Gomez: You were so beautiful. Pale and mysterious. No one even looked at the corpse.

  • [Looking for something in a wardrobe]

    Morticia: "Uncle Niknak's winter wardrobe." "Uncle Niknak's summer wardrobe." "Uncle Niknak."

  • Morticia: Have you spoken to her parents?

    Susan Firkins, Wednesday's Teacher: Well, Wednesday brought in this picture: Calpurnia Addams.

    Morticia: Wednesday's great-aunt Calpurnia. She was burned as a witch in 1706. They said she danced naked in the town square and enslaved the minister.

    Susan Firkins, Wednesday's Teacher: Really?

    Morticia: Oh, yes. But don't worry. We've told Wednesday college first.

  • Morticia: Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job.

  • Wednesday: May I have the salt?

    Morticia: What do we say?

    Wednesday: [sternly] Now.

  • Gomez: To live without you, only that would be torture.

    Morticia: A day alone, only that would be death.

  • Judge: [at the auction] This magnificent piece is encrusted with rubies and fifteen emerald chips. It was donated by Morticia and Gomez... Addams. Remember, this year, over half our proceeds will benefit the elderly and the mentally disabled.

    [Gomez and Morticia look fondly at Grandmama]

    Judge: I'll open the bidding at five thousand dollars.

    Gomez: Five - , hah! Not good enough. Twenty thousand!

    Margaret: [frantic] What are they *doing*?

    Judge: I have twenty.

    Gomez: Twenty-five!

    [to Morticia]

    Gomez: Cara mia?

    Judge: Twenty-five.

    Morticia: Thirty.

    [to Gomez]

    Morticia: Mon sauvage.

    Gomez: [voice cracks] Thirty-five!

    [to Morticia]

    Gomez: Eres divina.

    Morticia: Mm, fifty!

    Judge: I have fifty thousand dollars.

    Morticia: [to Gomez] Your turn, my ecstasy.

    Judge: Fifty thousand going once, fifty thousand going twice. Sold to Morticia Addams for fifty... thousand... dollars.

    [looks disgusted as Gomez and Morticia do something obscene]

  • Morticia: Margaret?

    Margaret: Hmm?

    Morticia: About the séance tonight, I wish you'd come. It's Gomez I'm terribly worried about. He won't eat, he can't sleep, he keeps coughing up blood.

    Margaret: He coughs up blood?

    Morticia: Well, not like he used to...

  • Gomez: Look at her. I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.

    Gomez: [Morticia wakes up] Unhappy, darling?

    Morticia: Oh, yes. Yes completely.

    [Gomez sits]

    Morticia: Gomez... Sun. Il me perce comme un poignard.

    Gomez: Oh, Tish. That's French.

    Morticia: Oui.

    Gomez: Cara mia.

    [kisses Morticia's hand]

    Gomez: En garde, Monsieur Soleil!

    Morticia: Gomez...

    Gomez: Querida?

    Morticia: Last night, you were unhinged. You were like some desperate howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again.

  • [performing abridged "Hamlet" in school play; sword fighting]

    Wednesday: How all occasions do inform against me and spur my dull revenge. O, from this time forth, my thoughts be bloody or nothing worth. If I must strike you dead, I will.

    Pugsley: [slashes Wednesday's left wrist; blood sprays out] A hit! A very palpable hit!

    [Wednesday cuts of Pugsley's arm, Pugsley slashes her throat; there is lots of blood spraying everywhere, getting the front rows]

    Wednesday: O, Proud Death. What feast is toward in thine eternal cell?

    [drops both swords and falls to her knees]

    Wednesday: Sweet Oblivion, open your arms!

    [choking and gasping for breath, collapses, and dies]

    Wednesday: [the audience sits aghast in stunned silence, covered with blood while the Addams give a standing ovation]

    Gomez: Bravo!

    Morticia: Bravo!

    Gomez: Bravo! Bravo!

  • Margaret: You are too precious for words, why I could just... eat you alive!

    Morticia: Oh no, Margaret! Too young!

  • [as they examine a rare and valuable heirloom Morticia is about to donate to charity]

    Grandmama: Let's keep it!

    Morticia: Hush, mama! It's for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.

  • Gomez: [as he helps Morticia out of a trap] Leather straps, red-hot pokers!

    Morticia: Later, my dearest.

  • Morticia: [to Thing] Thing, you're a handful.

  • [to Gomez, watching Pugsley sleep]

    Morticia: It's so sweet. He looks just like a little entrée.

  • Gomez: Cara mia.

    Morticia: Mon sauvage.

  • Morticia: [to Tully, as he is torturing her] You've done this before.

  • Gomez: Cara mia.

    Morticia: Mon cher.

  • Gomez: Is it painful?

    Morticia: Extremely.

  • Gomez: Cara mia, is it true?

    Morticia: Oui, mon amour.

  • Gomez: [Playing with the train set, ranting about Fester's finger-trap] How do you take it off? That's absurd! That finger trap was a party favor at his tenth birthday!

    Morticia: [In the room below, Morticia is reading a bedtime story to Wednesday and Pugsley. She looks up at the noise] Oh, no.

    Pugsley: Father's playing with his trains.

    Gomez: He wore that finger-trap for two years! Mother had to teach him to eat with his feet! And the combination! AND the password! And my cigar! And he slept so well!

    [Thing bangs his fist as Gomez speeds up the trains]

    Pugsley: He's using the diesel!

    Wednesday: [Looking horrified, as the train approaches a bridge] The covered bridge!

    Morticia: [Horrified, as the train runs through a ravine] Dead Man's Curve!

    [Grandmama looks up exasperatedly then continues read Gray's Anatomy. Lurch looks up as he darns his socks. A man on the train looks up as Gomez laughs maniacally]

    Wednesday: It's all about Uncle Fester, isn't it?

    Morticia: [Looks up as Fester passes through a pipe. Her eyes narrow]

    [as the trains approach each other]

    Gomez: Spirits above me... Give me a sign! Shall I be joyous? Or shall I be damned?

    [Trains collide and explode in front of Gomez's face]

  • Morticia: Gomez, why don't we go for a drive? The whole family.

    Gomez: A drive? And miss Gilligan?

  • Morticia: Why don't you speak to Fester, darling? He's right outside the door.

    Gomez: I would speak with Fester if that *were* Fester. But that is *not*! That is an *impostor*! An *impostor*!

  • Morticia: [to Thing] There it is. Just what we've been searching for. Thank you, Thing.

  • Morticia: [to Wednesday and Pugsley at the séance] Children, we're starting. Put down that antenna.

  • Uncle Fester: What is this?

    Morticia: Mama's spécialité de la maison.

    Gomez: Oh, Tish.

    Grandmama: [to Fester] Start with the eyes.

  • Morticia: [to Pugsley and Wednesday] Dead Man's Curve.

  • Morticia: [to Flora and Fauna] Flora, Fauna, how can I compete? You're twice the woman I am.

  • Grandmama: Aah! Aaaaaaah!

    Morticia: Mama?

    Grandmama: [lifting something from her cooking pot] Who put this in here?

    Grandmama: [Pugsley and Fester laugh] That's for company.

    Gomez: Little rascals.

  • Morticia: Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.

    Ellen: Boys?

    Wednesday: Homicide.

  • Morticia: [confronting Debbie in her house] You have gone too far. You have married Fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But Debbie...

    Debbie Jellinsky: What?

    Morticia: ...pastels?

  • Morticia: [to Debbie] You have enslaved him. You have placed Fester under some strange sexual spell. I respect that. But please, may we see him?

  • [about Pubert]

    Gomez: He has my father's eyes.

    Morticia: Gomez, take those out of his mouth.

  • Morticia: [to Gomez] I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.

  • Debbie Jellinsky: I don't wanna hurt anybody. I don't enjoy hurting anybody. I don't like guns, or bombs, or electric chairs. But sometimes people just won't listen. And so, I have to use persuasion. And slides.

    [Showing slide pictures]

    Debbie Jellinsky: My parents, Sharon and Dave. Generous, doting, or *were they*? All I ever wanted was a Ballerina Barbie. In her pretty pink tutu. My birthday.

    [the slide shows her as a child, smiling and opening a gift]

    Debbie Jellinsky: I was 10, and do you know what they got me? *Malibu* Barbie.

    Morticia: Malibu Barbie.

    Gomez: The nightmare.

    Morticia: The nerve.

    Debbie Jellinsky: [flicks to the next slide of her throwing a bared-teeth temper tantrum] That's not what I wanted! That's not who I was. I was a *ballerina*, graceful, delicate! They had to go.

    [the next slide shot shows a burning house]

  • Gomez: [shouting] I demand justice! Someone has married my brother!

    Desk sergeant: [sarcastically] No!

    Gomez: She took him to Hawaii!

    Desk sergeant: [cynically] Get outta here!

    Gomez: They have moved into a large, expensive home, where they make love *constantly*!

    Desk sergeant: I hate when that happens.

    Gomez: Arrest her at once, without delay!

    Desk sergeant: Who?

    Gomez: Debbie. My brother's wife, the temptress of Waikiki!

    Desk sergeant: Who are you? What are you? Who moved the rock?

    Gomez: Officer, you must issue a subpoena. I believe they own...

    Morticia: Gomez, NO!

    Gomez: [shouting] A Buick!

  • [at the police station after asking to arrest Debbie]

    Gomez: [shouting] Has the planet gone mad? My brother, passion's hostage. I seek justice - denied! I shall not submit! I shall conquer! I shall rise! My name is Gomez Addams, and I have seen evil!

    [Grandma waves Pubert in the air]

    Gomez: I have seen horror!

    [Lurch waves]

    Gomez: I have seen the unholy maggots which feast in the dark recesses of the human soul!

    Morticia: They're at camp.

    Gomez: I have seen all this, officer. But until today, I had never seen... *you*!

    Desk sergeant: Hook him, book him, cook him. *Now*!

  • Wednesday: Death! Death to the enemies of the people of the Republic.

    [Pugsley releases the guillotine and chops a watermelon in half]

    Wednesday: Hurrah! Justice is served. Bring forward the evil one.

    [Pugsley brings over Pubert, who is in a white dress and bonnet]

    Wednesday: [to Pubert] You have betrayed the people of France. You are evil incarnate. How do you plead?

    Pugsley: [holds up Pubert, speaks in "baby voice"] Guilty!

    Wednesday: Guilty! By her own admission! The sentence is death. Executioner, place her on the block.

    [Pugsley lays Pubert down in the guillotine]

    Wednesday: 1... 2...

    Morticia: [from downstairs] Children, what are you doing?

    WednesdayPugsley: Playing!

    Wednesday: ...3!

    [She releases the guillotine. Pubert catches the blade in his fingers]

    Wednesday: Woe to the Republic.

  • [Morticia is reading "The Cat in the Hat" to Pubert, who has golden curls and rosy cheeks]

    Morticia: Are you enjoying this?


    Morticia: To think, a child of mine!

    [turns the page]

    Morticia: "I know it is wet, and the sun is not sunny. But we can have lots of good fun... that is funny."

    [flipping to the last page]

    Morticia: Oh, no. He lives.

  • Morticia: Children, this is Miss Jellinsky, our new nanny. What do we say?

    Wednesday: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

  • Morticia: Children, do you think we love the baby more than we love you?

    WednesdayPugsley: Yes.

    Morticia: Do you think that when a new baby arrives, one of the other children has to die?

    WednesdayPugsley: Yes.

    Grandma: Well, that's just not true.

    [sighs wistfully]

    Grandma: Not anymore.

  • Gomez: Cara mia.

    Morticia: Mon cher.

  • Delivery Room Doctor: [to Morticia] Push, Mrs. Addams.

    [to the Nurse]

    Delivery Room Doctor: Forceps?

    Forceps Nurse: Forceps.

    [giving the Doctor forceps]

    Forceps Nurse: Forceps.

    Delivery Room Doctor: Would you like anesthesia?

    Morticia: No, thank you. But do ask the children.

  • [at Debbie's house]

    Morticia: Where are we?

    Grandma: It looks familiar... of course, the gates of hell.

  • Morticia: My baby is ill, and my husband is dying. Oh Mama, what shall I do?

    Grandma: Well, you have a black dress.

  • Debbie Jellinsky: These Addams men, where do you find them?

    Morticia: It has to be damp.

  • Gomez: [visibly disgusted] Fresh air. The scent of pine.

    [hands Pugsley a cigar]

    Morticia: Wednesday, look at all of the other children, their freckles, their bright little eyes, their eager, friendly smiles. Help them.

  • Debbie Jellinsky: I just can't tell, does he like me at all?

    Morticia: Of course he does. He vomited.

    Debbie Jellinsky: That's true. Does he always do that with women he likes?

    Morticia: Oh, no. Just you.

  • Gomez: At his request, I would rip out my eyes. At his command, I would crawl on my belly through hot coals and broken glass.

    Morticia: Why wait?

  • Morticia: [to Gomez] One house, three children, so many windows.

  • Morticia: [to Debbie] All the important numbers: Police, Fire Department, Morgue.

  • Grandma: Unless Fester comes back, we're talking *dimples*.

    Gomez: Not in this house!

    Grandma: He could stay this way for years! Forever! He could become... a lawyer.

    Gomez: I won't listen!

    Grandma: An orthodontist!

    Morticia: Mama! Stop!

    Grandma: President!

    Gomez: [looking up above] Please! I beg you! Take me!

    [sobs openly]

  • Morticia: [Thing hops on Debbie's shoulder] Thing, stop that.

    Gomez: He likes you.

    Debbie Jellinsky: [Debbie sucks on Thing's index finger; he shudders and falls off] I'm good with my hands.

  • Morticia: Good night, Debbie.

    Debbie Jellinsky: Good night.

    Morticia: Scream if you need anything.

  • Uncle Fester: Gomez! Morticia! Great news! Something impossible... a miracle!

    Gomez: The rash?

    Morticia: It's gone?

    Uncle Fester: I'm engaged!

    [Debbie shows them the ring]

    Morticia: That ring!

    Gomez: It was our mother's. She was buried with it.

    [Debbie holds up a shovel]

  • Delivery Room Doctor: Nurse, how close are the contractions?

    Delivery Nurse: Every fifteen seconds, doctor.

    Gomez: Are you in unbearable pain? Is it inhuman? My darling, is it torture?

    Morticia: Oui.

  • Morticia: [handing Pubert to Debbie] You've had your shots? Measles, mumps, rabies?

  • Morticia: Adieu, mon cher.

    Gomez: Adios, cara mia.

  • Morticia: So... you still desire me after all these years? The old ball and chain?

    Gomez: Forever!

    Morticia: I'll get them!

  • Morticia: Gomez.

    Gomez: Cara mia?

    Morticia: Marvelous news. I'm going to have a baby. Right now.

  • Morticia: [walking into Pubert's nursery] Oh, Gomez. It's dark, it's depressing, it's desolate.

    Gomez: It says, "Toddler".

    Morticia: It's a dream.

    Gomez: Come, cara mia.

  • Morticia: [to Gomez, after Pubert shoots a flaming arrow into the ceiling] Did you see that?

  • MorticiaGomez: [to each other] Summer camp?

  • Gomez: [opens the window to enjoy the night air, and catches Pubert as he falls from the roof] Cara mia!

    Morticia: Oh, dear.

  • Debbie Jellinsky: Hi, I'm Debbie Jellinsky from the agency.

    Morticia: The agency? But they claimed no one else was available. They suggested a Doberman.

  • Morticia: [in a philosophical sighing tone] Our whole family... together at last... three generations... above ground.

    Debbie Jellinsky: [shouting from offstage, then suddenly appearing on the scene holding a ridiculous-looking fat-bodied old-fashioned sawed-off shotgun, which she pumps dramatically to chamber a shell] IN-LAWS!


  • Grandma: [in Pubert's now lighthearted nursery] Stay back! He's very sick!

    Morticia: [Morticia and Gomez look over into his cradle to see a blond, rosy cheeked smiling baby] My baby!

    [Gomez faints]

Browse more character quotes from The Addams Family (1991)