Mordecai Mendoza Quotes in Carry on Columbus (1992)

Christopher Columbus: [a slave presents the Chief and Columbus with cigars] What do you make of it?

Mordecai Mendoza: Some kind of vegetable? Looks like old dried cabbage.

[Columbus takes a bite]

Mordecai Mendoza: What does it taste like?

Christopher Columbus: Horse shit.

Mordecai Mendoza: Is it cooked?

Christopher Columbus: If it is they should shoot the cook.

[the slave lights the Chief's cigar]

Christopher Columbus: Well I'll be damned! Look at that. They cook it while you're eating it.

Mordecai Mendoza: So try it cooked.

[the slave lights Columbus' cigar. He has a puff]

Mordecai Mendoza: What's it taste like now?

Christopher Columbus: Still tastes like horse shit.