Monkey Quotes in Kung Fu Panda (2008)

Tigress: One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu.

Crane: Yeah, or could at least touch his toes.

Monkey: Or even see his toes.

Tigress: [seeing Po bounce down the palace steps] If he's smart, he won't come back up those steps.

Monkey: But, he will.

Viper: He's not gonna quit, is he?

Mantis: He's not gonna quit bouncing, I'll tell you that.

Po: [dazed] What are you pointing at? Oh! Okay. Sorry, I just wanted to see who the Dragon Warrior was.

Oogway: How interesting.

Tigress: Master, are you pointing at... me?

Oogway: Him.

Po: Who?

[Moves around, Oogway's finger follows him]

Oogway: You.

Po: What?

Oogway: [Raising Po's arm with his stick] The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior!

Po: What?

Tigress, Crane, Monkey, Mantis, Viper: What?

Shifu: WHAT?

Mr. Ping: WHAT?

Monkey: [after the Furious Five bowed to Po in his dream] We should hang out.

Po: Agreed.

Tai Lung: Where's the Dragon Warrior?

Tigress: How do you know you're not looking at her?

Tai Lung: [laughs] You think I'm a fool? I know you're not the Dragon Warrior. None of you! I heard how he fell from the sky on a ball of fire. That he's a warrior unlike anything the world has ever seen!

Monkey: Po?

Tai Lung: So that is his name. Po. At last, a worthy opponent. Our battle will be legendary!

[after his defeat by Tai Lung, Master Monkey hits Po]

Monkey: He's too fast... Sorry, Po!

[Monkey sees George being taken away]

Monkey: Ooh ooh eee eee aah aah!

Mercenary: Oh, see the monkey.

Po: The peacock was there the last time I saw my parents! He knows what happened! Where I came from! Who I am.

[pause]

Po: Look, I'm going. I have to know. The hardcore can't understand.

[Tigress lunges at Po]

Viper: Tigress, no!

[Tigress hugs Po; Crane's jaw drops]

Tigress: The hardcore DO understand. But I can't watch my friend be killed.

[pulls away]

Tigress: [to the rest] We're going.

Crane: Uh, maybe you can't watch *me* be killed?

Tigress: Stop being a wimp.

Monkey: ...And, she's back.

Monkey: At the first sign of trouble, I'll give you a signal. Ka-Ka! Kee-Kee!

Po: You mean like Crane does?

Monkey: Yeah.

Crane: Excuse me? When have I ever make that noise?

[after Po is apparently killed by Shen's cannon and the Five are captured]

Monkey: We cannot give up hope. Po would want us to remain strong. Hardcore! Right, Tigress?

[Tigress is silent in grief]

Monkey: [On seeing a poor person being mistreated by a wolf over cooking rice] Po, do something.

Po: How am I suppose to help her cook rice without getting caught?... Wait, I have a better idea!

Monkey: Hey, you want some blow?

John Hatcher: Yeah, I want some blow. Put your hands where I can see 'em or I'm gonna blow your head off.

Mrs. Taylor: to Monkey: Where the fuck are you going?

Monkey: Sunday School.

Mrs. Taylor: You little fucker, you be back by twelve!

Billy: Bye Mrs Taylor!

Mrs. Taylor: Fuck off!

Billy: to Monkey: Nice woman your mother.

Beetle: Stealth is my middle name.

Monkey: You don't even have a first name.

Monkey: Your magic is growing stronger. You need to learn control. But when we grow stronger the world grows more dangerous.

Kubo: Don't you ever say anything encouraging?

Monkey: I encourage you not to die.

Kubo: [Mockingly] I encourage you not to die.

Monkey: He looked into my eyes and uttered four simple words. These words changed everything... You are my quest.

Kubo: Why does grandfather hate me?

Monkey: Oh, Kubo. He doesn't hate you. He wants to make you just like him. Blind to humanity as I once was. Only then can you take your place beside him as part of his family. Cold and hard and perfect.

Monkey: [to Kubo] Don't mess with the Monkey!

Monkey: [regarding Hanzo] In recognizing his compassion, I recognized my own.

Monkey: You have questions, I can tell.

Kubo: Who...

Monkey: You get three.

Kubo: I think I have more.

Monkey: Three. But first you're gonna eat.

Kubo: Why only three?

Monkey: Okay, that was your first question.

Kubo: What?

Beetle: I have a feeling this is my destiny.

Monkey: No, it isn't! We can't trust anything you say, because *you* can't trust anything you say.

Kubo: [of Beetle] Monkey! I think he's in trouble! We should help him!

Monkey: Kubo, your aunts are still out there! I'm sorry, but we have to head for shore!

[Kubo jumps in the water, leaving monkey distraught]

Monkey: Kubo!

[runs across the leafy galleon and jumps off to dive in for Kubo, but a mechanical hand attached to a chain grabs her by the leg and pulls her back onto the deck. She looks up above her as one of the sisters gently floats down towards the boat holding the chain in her hand]

The Sisters: Oh, how precious. I come here to fish, and all I reel in is a wretched ape. it is a shame that this filthy creature is all that's left of my sister's magic.

Monkey: This filthy creature will tear you APART!

[runs to the sister with a sword in her hands, jumps up and strikes at the sister who blocks the attack with a sword of her own]

Monkey: A rolling bear gathers no hair!

[Baloo's monkey disguise in the ancient ruins has failed, exposing him]

Monkey: It's Baloo the bear!

Second Monkey: Yeah, that's him! How'd that square get in there?