Molly Mahoney Quotes in Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007)

Mr. Edward Magorium: [to Molly, about dying] When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words.

[pause, walks over to Molly]

Mr. Edward Magorium: I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."

Molly Mahoney: [starting to sob] I love you.

Mr. Edward Magorium: I love you, too.

[picks Molly up, sighs heavily]

Mr. Edward Magorium: Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.

Mr. Edward Magorium: 37 seconds.

Molly Mahoney: Great. Well done. Now we wait.

Mr. Edward Magorium: No. We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds, well used, is a lifetime.

Molly Mahoney: Are you dying?

Mr. Edward Magorium: Light bulbs die, my sweet. I will depart.

Molly Mahoney: i knew it. As soon as I saw that suit.

Henry Weston: Knew what?

Molly Mahoney: You're a 'just' guy.

Henry Weston: What's a 'just' guy?

Molly Mahoney: A guy just like you. Same hair, same suit, same shoes, walks around, no matter what, you think it's all just a store, it's just a bench, it's just a tree. It's just what it is, nothing more!

Henry Weston: Alright but, but this

[looks over his shoulder]

Henry Weston: is just a store.

Molly Mahoney: I'm sure to you... it is.

Mr. Edward Magorium: I've hired an accountant.

Molly Mahoney: A what?

Mr. Edward Magorium: An accountant. According to the word, it must be a cross between a counter and a mutant and that may be precisely what we need.

Molly Mahoney: He's 242 years old and...

Mr. Edward Magorium: I am not 242! I'm 243! You were at my birthday party. You brought me balloons.

Molly Mahoney: [after they have set all the clocks forward in a shop to strike noon at the same time] Now we wait.

Mr. Edward Magorium: No. We Breathe. We Pulse. We Regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. Thirty-seven seconds, well used, is a lifetime.

Molly Mahoney: Mr. Magorian, I asked the big book for a lollipop and I got a lemur!

Mr. Edward Magorium: A lemur? We don't even carry lemurs! I'm not even sure I know what a lemur is! Wait, is that that small primate-looking thing?

Molly Mahoney: I'm stuck!

Mr. Edward Magorium: Oh, to my floor?

Molly Mahoney: No, sir.

Mr. Edward Magorium: Then what?

Molly Mahoney: Like a person. You remember when I was a little girl and I could play Rahmaninov's Second Piano Concerto and everyone was talking about my potential?

Mr. Edward Magorium: Mhm.

Molly Mahoney: Well, I am 23 now and everyone's still talking about my potential but if you ask em to play the song I know best... I'll still play Rachmaninov's Second.

Mr. Edward Magorium: May I suggest you stun the world with Molly Mahoney's First?

Mr. Edward Magorium: Hey, pants!

Molly Mahoney: What about them?

Mr. Edward Magorium: Nothing, just

[dances]

Mr. Edward Magorium: pants!

Molly Mahoney: [dances] Me too!

[from trailer]

Henry Weston: When you say magical, do you mean special?

Molly Mahoney: Magical.

Henry Weston: What about... really really cool?

Molly Mahoney: MAGICAL!

Molly Mahoney: So, did you get any friends at camp?

Eric Applebaum, the Hat Collector: Yeah... um... Jeff.

Molly Mahoney: Is Jeff real?

Eric Applebaum, the Hat Collector: Yeah... sure.

Molly Mahoney: Is he an animal?

Eric Applebaum, the Hat Collector: He was a squirrel.

Mr. Edward Magorium: Why are you lying?

Molly Mahoney: I have to.

Mr. Edward Magorium: But your pants will catch on fire...

Molly Mahoney: You're here?

Henry Weston: Apparently.

Molly Mahoney: But not actually?

[from trailer]

[holds out her hand to a full shopping bag]

Molly Mahoney: Come on, get out of there!

[a blue ball flies out of the bag and into her hand]

Molly Mahoney: Bouncy balls. Always tryin' to escape.

Eric Applebaum, the Hat Collector: My hat's stuck.

Molly Mahoney: Ha... looks like you're gonna need a ladder.

Eric Applebaum, the Hat Collector: Naah. I just need to jump higher.

Molly Mahoney: Eric... that's seven feet, at least.

Eric Applebaum, the Hat Collector: Seven feet? Really?

Molly Mahoney: At least.

Eric Applebaum, the Hat Collector: You think I should get a running start?

Molly Mahoney: Sir...

Mr. Edward Magorium: Don't you agree, Mahoney?

Molly Mahoney: Um, not exactly, sir.

Mr. Edward Magorium: Perfect!

Molly Mahoney: Mutant, When you look at me, what do you see?

Henry Weston: Really pretty eyes?

[Chuckles]

Molly Mahoney: [laughs] No... I mean... like, do you see a sparkle?

Henry Weston: You mean now, like a glitter... on your face?

Molly Mahoney: No, like a sparkle.

Henry Weston: What kind of sparkle?

Molly Mahoney: Like, something reflective of something bigger that's trying to get out. You know what? Never mind.

Henry Weston: It might not be so much of a sparkle... maybe a twinkle?

Molly Mahoney: Forget it.

Henry Weston: A glint?

Molly Mahoney: It's ok.

Henry Weston: Ah... you've got that thing that you do with your hands...

Molly Mahoney: That's a quirk.

Henry Weston: A quirk's not a sparkle?

Molly Mahoney: uh uh.

Henry Weston: Oh...

Molly Mahoney: Yeah...

[walks away]

Pat Mahoney: He was pretty swell in the moonlight last night.

Molly Mahoney: So is the Taj Mahal, but I wouldn't wanna marry it.

Molly Mahoney: Keep your toes crossed.

Molly Mahoney: Well, we can't spend the whole day admiring each other.

Eddie Kerns: Say, that's right. We gotta get down to the casino. Buddy Bartell is waiting for us right now.

Molly Mahoney: He is? Oh, can't we go to the beauty parlor and get sand blasted or something? I got half of Nebraska down my neck.

Eddie Kerns: Aw, come on, you look beautiful.

Molly Mahoney: Here I'm thinkin' you're all grown up and you're actin' like a kid again. Come on, buck up.

Molly Mahoney: Let's go! You all wanna be Fred Astaire and Eleanor Powell someday, don't you?

Kids Tap Class: Yes, Miss Mahoney!

Molly Mahoney: Will I live to see it? Pick 'em up! You shouldn't be tired at your age.

Molly Mahoney: Well, kids. Gee, the routines look swell. You'll walk away with the show!

Eddie Kerns: Oh, they'll be alright after you brush up some of the rough spots for us. Maybe you can give us a couple of good hot breaks?

Molly Mahoney: Not on your life! I'm saving my routines for television!

Eddie Kerns: [laughter] Oh, television! Goodness!

Pat Mahoney: [Showing off her nails] Look, how do you like 'em? Its that new shade of Campbell Red all those glamour girls are wearing.

Molly Mahoney: Swell. Slip into this. Maybe it'll look better on you than it did on the ironing board.

Molly Mahoney: Now, don't you worry, baby. With what you got, nobody'll even see the dress.

Molly Mahoney: I guess you've been doin' all right for yourself since you got out of show business with that column and all those newspapers and everything.

Jed Marlowe: Aw, I've got those chumps fooled. I'm still a hoofer at heart.

Molly Mahoney: So am I. I used to dream I'd have this town at my feet. Now I'd settle for a good chiropodist.

Jed Marlowe: Tell me, aren't you Miss These, Them and Those, yet?

Molly Mahoney: You mean, Eddie? No, not yet, but we're engaged and that's as good as bein' married.

Jed Marlowe: As good? It's a darn sight better.

Jed Marlowe: Molly, you're in a swell spot here to keep your eyes and ears open to see what's going on. And that's what I breed on. How'd you like to make yourself a little extra dough?

Molly Mahoney: Sure. I think so.

Jed Marlowe: Swell. Now, here's your first job. Find out who that sweet little dish is that has Chat Chatsworth hanging on the ropes. You know her?

Molly Mahoney: [Sees it's Pat] No, Jed. That's a new one on me.

Molly Mahoney: Say, what is this bird Chatsworth like, anyway?

Jed Marlowe: He's a wild cuckoo. He flits from limb to limb and every season he picks himself a new mate. After he's feathered their nest with linoleum, he flies away and picks himself another. Five, so far.

Molly Mahoney: Five wives?

Jed Marlowe: From penthouse to flop house in one easy lesson.

Pat Mahoney: Aren't you coming?

Molly Mahoney: Later, I've got to finish dunking this lingerie.

Molly Mahoney: Don't worry, Pat. You're not going to be in the way. Besides, Eddie's just as crazy about you as I am.

Jed Marlowe: You got any mud for me?

Molly Mahoney: No, not yet, Jed, I - I been kinda busy.

Jed Marlowe: Did you get the low down on that pigeon Chatsworth's running around with?

Molly Mahoney: No, I haven't.

Jed Marlowe: They tell me she's a little Romanian dancer by the name of -Mahoney.

Molly Mahoney: Now, listen, kid. You can't go for that. In a month you'd be one of his ex-wives. He's a regular Henry the Eighth!

Molly Mahoney: [to Pat] Bye baby, be happy.

[to Eddie]

Molly Mahoney: And you better see that she is too - you big ham-o-la.

Jed Marlowe: Molly, you can still change your mind.

Molly Mahoney: Not me. I'm gonna be back in Nebraska in time for the corn and lima bean festival. And, who knows, maybe this year I'll be elected Queen of the Succotash!