Mitch Henessey Quotes in The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)


Mitch Henessey Quotes:

  • Mitch Henessey: What I'm saying is, back when we first met, you were all like "Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins." Now, you go into a bar, ten minutes later, sailors come runnin' out. What up with that?

  • Mitch Henessey: I'm always frank and earnest with women. Uh, in New York I'm Frank, and Chicago I'm Ernest.

  • Charlie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

    Mitch Henessey: I hope not, 'cause I'm thinking how much my balls hurt.

  • Charlie: Goddamn it. You're early. So Perkins wants me dead, huh? What's the rush? Why don't you just go away and come back at midnight? Shoo.

    Alley Agent: Hey, honey, this is a real big fucking gun.

    Mitch Henessey: This ain't no ham on rye pal.

    Charlie: What the hell are you doing?

    Mitch Henessey: Saving your life. I would have been here sooner, but I was thinkin' up that 'ham on rye' line.

  • Mitch Henessey: [singing] Putting the keys in my left pocket. Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. Gun in the right-hand side.

    Samantha Caine: It makes a bulge, people can see.

    Mitch Henessey: Ya want me to stick it in my pants and shoot my damn dick off?

    Samantha Caine: Now you're a sharpshooter?

  • Mitch Henessey: How did you find us?

    Nathan: There may be many reasons not to kill you, but among them is not that you'll be missed by NASA. I found the address in your coat. Here. Between the address of a topless bar, and the picture of what looks like a man's penis.

    Mitch Henessey: That's a duck, not a dick.

  • Charlie: Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons?

    Mitch Henessey: I took lessons.

  • Mitch Henessey: You foxy bitch.

  • Samantha: It's like I'm in goddamn prison. Do you know how that feels?

    Mitch Henessey: "YEAH. YEAH, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT'S LIKE. FOUR YEARS inside, Marion, Illinois. A REAL shithole. AND I'M NOT GOING BACK."

  • Mitch Henessey: I never did one thing right in my life, you know that? Not one. That takes skill.

  • Samantha Caine: What, are you a Mormon?

    Mitch Henessey: Yes, I'm a Mormon. That's why I just smoked a pack of Newport and drank three vodka tonics.

  • Mitch Henessey: ...everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of "u" and "umption".

  • Mitch Henessey: We jumped out of a building.

    Nathan: Yes, it was very exciting. Tomorrow we go to the zoo.

    Charlie: You're Waldman.

    Nathan: No, I'm the Hill Brothers bean buyer. Who else would I be? Hang on. If you want me to talk in front of him, you may be asked... to kill him later. It works for me. Your call.

  • Mitch Henessey: Don't give me attitude, sir.

  • Mitch Henessey: Question. You keep saying "I this", "I that". Like well


    Mitch Henessey: it's like you don't need me anymore.

    Charlie: [looks at Mitch] Good point.

    [opens passenger side door]

    Mitch Henessey: Hey, hey

    [Charlie kicks him out of the car]

    Mitch Henessey: HEY!

    [Mitch rolls a couple times and ends up on the sidewalk]

Browse more character quotes from The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)