Mitch Evers Quotes in The Parent Trap (1961)
Mitch Evers Quotes:
Mitch Evers: [entering the dining room to see an empty table] Hey, uh, what happened to dinner?
Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper': Oh, dinner's being served on the patio tonight.
Mitch Evers: Oh, whose idea is that?
Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper': It's none of my nevermind. I don't say a word.
Mitch Evers: [turning to leave; deadpan] I know, you never say a word to anyone.
Mitch Evers: Ah Maggie, you're so beautiful.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: [to brush it off] Ah...
Mitch Evers: No I mean it! I know I don't say things like you want to hear, but I've been thinking a lot about you, and us, and the way things used to be... this might sound funny to you but you know what I've missed most of all?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Mitch?
Mitch Evers: What?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: You've got stew all over you.
Mitch Evers: I don't care.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Go and wash it off.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: What do you miss?
Mitch Evers: Well, I don't care if it does sound silly; I miss those wet stockings you used to have hanging around the bathroom, and I miss my razor being dull because you used it to shave your legs with. And I miss the hairpins mixed up with the fish hooks in my tackle box... it's no fun having a clothes closet all to myself. And it's no fun swearing because you're not around to make believe you're shocked by it. Well, nothing's any good without you Maggie, I miss a lot of things... I guess I just miss you!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Why did you take so long to tell me?
Mitch Evers: I don't know... Well because, cause I guess I was hoping that you'd come back sometime. Maggie, I've been the prize chump of the world. We've both been. We're going to grow into a couple of old lonely people if we don't do something about it.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: I know.
Mitch Evers: You don't want that, do you?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: No Mitch.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh Mitch, it's been so long... so very long.
Mitch Evers: Don't cry. Listen, you can slug me in the eye anytime you want.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Ok!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh darn!
Mitch Evers: What's the matter?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Well, I've got a wet dishcloth on and I put some knots in it. Open it for me!
Mitch Evers: Maggie, as long as everybody's apologizing, I think maybe I better do mine too. I mean about the other night, well, I didn't mean for it to sound like uh... I guess I'm not very good with the compliments what growing up out here with the cows...
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh now, don't give me that old "growing up with the cows routine"! You handed me that years ago!
Mitch Evers: I did not!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: You certainly did!
Mitch Evers: Well it worked didn't it? You liked it!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Don't you take that tone with me Mitch. I lambed you once!
[she tries to make a childish fist but it gets wrapped under her robe sleeve, so she pulls the sleeve down]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Now stand back.
Mitch Evers: Oh Maggie, come on...
[he tries to grab her arm from behind but she elbows him instead and instinctively punches him in the eye]
Mitch Evers: Ow!
[covers his eye]
Mitch Evers: Why do you have to get so physical?
[mopes over to the couch and lies down]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh, stop being such a big baby. Let me take a look at it.
[tries to look at his eye but he childishly won't let her]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: You're acting worst than the twins.
Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper': You didn't know what a good thing you had when you had it.
Mitch Evers: Huh?
Mitch Evers: Would you mind putting on something decent?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: I'm dressed perfectly decent.
Mitch Evers: Yeah, running around in my bathrobe. The priest could come in here any minute, it looks like we just...
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Like we what?
Mitch Evers: Just go upstairs and put on some clothes!
Mitch Evers: Hey, Maggie, you look pretty good. What did you do to yourself?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: *Do* to myself?
Mitch Evers: [after Vicky slaps one of the twins] Hey, wait a minute, there's no call for that. They didn't do anything to you!
Vicky Robinson: You'll never know what they did to me, you big GOON! Now get me outta this stinkin' fresh air!
Sharon McKendrick: [after telling her he's going to marry Vicky] Don't you see, Dad, it's all relative. Compared to her, you're an old man.
Mitch Evers: I am not an old man!
Mitch Evers: That's the last time I'm going to take a woman to the mountains; that's all I've got to say.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh, ah... Where is, um... um, what's her name?
Mitch Evers: Vicki?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Yeah, yeah. Vicki.
Mitch Evers: Yeah, yeah... Well... she took off like a pelican and she's probably at Park Avenue and 57th Street by now, and good luck to her.
Hecky: What's eatin' you?
Mitch Evers: [Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Margaret is arriving from Boston] You ever have a feelin' that something bad is about to happen, like a storm brewin'?
Hecky: [quizzically looking up at the sky] No.
Mitch Evers: Never mind; let's go.
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