Miss Marple Quotes in Murder She Said (1961)

Ackenthorpe: There is one thing I cannot tolerate, and that is impertinence.

Miss Marple: Well, we should get on admirably. Neither can I!

Ackenthorpe: Cod's as good as lobster any day, and much cheaper.

Miss Marple: Well, that depends on whether or not one has a palate unsullied by cheap opiates.

Ackenthorpe: If you mean what I think you mean, I'll have you know this cheroot cost two shillings!

Miss Marple: Yes. Quite.

Ackenthorpe: If you don't shut those windows you'll be fired.

Miss Marple: In that case I shall require four weeks' wages in lieu of notice.

Ackenthorpe: Get out of my sight, woman!

Miss Marple: With pleasure!

Alexander: You know, it isn't just that you don't look like Jayne Mansfield. You're not *my* idea of a maid, either.

Miss Marple: Well, quite honestly, I don't think *you're* everybody's idea of a boy.

Craddock: We have come to the conclusion that what you saw on the train was... uh... well, a man and a woman...

Miss Marple: Yes, as I said.

Craddock: I mean, perhaps they were honeymooners.

Miss Marple: I may be what is termed a spinster, but I do know the difference between horseplay and murder.

Craddock: Have they got any other servants?

Miss Marple: Yes they have, Inspector.

Craddock: Good Lord! You!

Miss Marple: Yes. Dotty old me.

Mr. Stringer: What a frightful looking man.

Miss Marple: What a frightful looking dog.

Miss Marple: A policeman's work is never done.

Miss Marple: I'm afraid I never can resist my own pie, Inspector. Anybody else's, of course.

Ackenthorpe: I hope it'll be a long time before I have to put up with the whole pack of them again.

Miss Marple: Not a very nice way to talk about one's family.

Ackenthorpe: Not a very nice family.

Craddock: Withholding information from the police is a very serious matter.

Miss Marple: Oh, I know, Inspector, and I'm most awfully sorry. Will you take tea?

Ackenthorpe: Well, I've decided to marry you.

Miss Marple: Well, I'm honored, of course.

Ackenthorpe: Of course you are, but come to the point.

Miss Marple: I'm afraid that cannot be.

Ackenthorpe: Why?

Miss Marple: Well, if ever I do embark on such a venture, there is someone else.

Ackenthorpe: Nonsense! I don't believe it. Who on earth would have you?

Miss Marple: [Quimper's about to inject her with poison] One more murder may be one too many.

Dr. Quimper: This won't be a murder, the death certificate I'll write up will say heart failure.

Miss Marple: I'm quite sure you mean well, Inspector, but if you imagine that I'm going to sit back and let everyone regard me as a dotty old maid, you're very much mistaken.

Miss Marple: I'm Jane from Mrs. Binster's Employment Agency - the new maid!

Mrs. Kidder: [laconically] Well, you look old enough to know better. Come in.

Miss Marple: [shaking her head in disappointment at Joan Hickson's just departing character Mrs. Kidder] The younger generation!

Miss Marple: Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead, Mr. Stringer!

Miss Marple: Are you implying that I am unhinged?

Det. Insp. Craddock: No. No, of course not!

Miss Marple: Then what are you implying, pray?

Det. Insp. Craddock: Well, just that you are temporarily not yourself.

Miss Marple: Chief Inspector, I am *always* myself!

Miss Marple: [to Craddock] Embezzlement is one thing - proof of triple murder is another. Softly, softly catches monkey in a mousetrap.

Comm. Breeze-Connington: [brandishing sword] Now I propose to execute you on the spot...

Miss Marple: [parrying] You won't find it as easy as you think. I warn you. I was Ladies National Fencing Champion in 1931.