Miss Haggerd Quotes in Carry on Camping (1969)

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: Ahh matron what can I do for you?

Miss Haggerd: I'm sorry to trouble you Doctor Soaper, but I've been thinking about this camping trip for the girls who have to remain with us for the rest of the holidays.

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: What about it?

Miss Haggerd: I was wondering whether it was really such a good idea?

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: Perhaps you were forgetting Matron it was my idea.

Miss Haggerd: Oh no no, of course it is an absolutely splendid one but...

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: But what?

Miss Haggerd: Well I was wondering whether they might find it a trifle spartan them being such delicate and refined girls.

Miss Haggerd: The point I'm really trying to make is that here I can jeep full control of them, outside anything might happen.

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: You seem to be forgetting Miss Haggerd you're coming with us surely you and I can keep suitable control.

Miss Haggerd: [Romantically] Well I was thinking of the girls...

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: So was I.

Miss Haggerd: Oh. But don't you see it raises the problem of sex?

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: I wouldn't dream of bothering you in that way.

Miss Haggerd: No I meant with the girls they are likely to come in to contact with boys.

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: Oh yes. I don't think that will be a problem. It has been my experience as once young people sample the lights of country life and the wonders of nature they just can't get enough of it.

Miss Haggerd: Exactly.

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: Well I was thinking of the girls...

Miss Haggerd: So was I.

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: Exactly.

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: [on disturbing Matron in the shower] Matron, this is the *men's*!

Miss Haggerd: Go away, Doctor Soaper!

Miss Haggerd: I don't think a shower stall is the place for making advances!

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: I thought I got hold on the shower tap!

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: [after Barbara asks about fertility rights] A fine talk you must have given them on the birds and the bees.

Miss Haggerd: Well, when I started talking, I realized I had no idea what they do. What do bees do?

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: They sting!

Miss Haggerd: Don't rush me. I think you'll find it's worth waiting for.

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: So's Christmas but you won't find me stuffing your turkey!