Minister Quotes in Battle of Britain (1969)

Air Vice Marshal Evill: [ACM Dowding is sitting at his desk reading reports. The phone buzzes. AVM Evill picks up the phone] Yes?

[listens]

Air Vice Marshal Evill: Yes, one moment

[turns to ACM Dowding]

Air Vice Marshal Evill: The Air Minister, sir. on the scrambler.

Air Chief Marshall Sir Hugh Dowding: [picks up green scrambler phone] Yes?

Minister: Ah, Dowding. Er. Look. Our people in Washington are having trouble with the American Press. It's about today's figures. German sources there are saying that our claims are wildly exaggerated.

Air Chief Marshall Sir Hugh Dowding: [listens, but says nothing]

Minister: Hello? Are you there Dowding?

Air Chief Marshall Sir Hugh Dowding: I'm here Minister.

Minister: Well I mean, can you verify the figures?

Air Chief Marshall Sir Hugh Dowding: [clears throat] I'm not very interested in propaganda. If we're right, they'll give up. If we are wrong, they'll be in London in a week!.

[pauses then hangs up]

Hayes: Say, how'd you come by that scar on your neck? Indians? Them savages?

Minister: No, it was worse. Mormons. Praise be to God and a good rifle, he answered my prayers and not his.

Hayes: You ought to have a talk with your God about that. Figure he ought to be more careful. You being the chosen folk and all.

Minister: Wait! We're not connected at all. Why kill me?

Yuuki Gennosuke: No, we *are* connected because I'll see you in hell.

Minister: Do you?

Lone Starr: Yes

Minister: Do you?

Princess Vespa: Yes

Minister: GOOD, you're married. KISS HER!

Minister: Excuse me! I'm trying to conduct a wedding here which has nothing to do with love, so please be quiet!

Princess Vespa: I'm sorry!

King Roland: I'm sorry

Prince Valium: I'm sorry too.

Minister: Don't be sorry, be quiet!

Princess Vespa, King Roland, Prince Valium: I'm sorry!

Minister: What's your name?

Barf: Barf.

Minister: Your full name?

[Barf sucks in chest to look stronger]

Barf: Barfolomew!

Minister: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness Princess Vespa, daughter of King Roland going right past the altar, heading down the ramp and out the door!

Minister: ...to join Princess Vespa and Prince Valium in the bonds of Holy...

[sound of Eagle 5 flying over the castle]

Minister: MOLY!

Minister: You would think Jesus. I thought Jesus the first time I came across that door. It's not Jesus. It's another door. And guess what's on the other side of that door? Yeah, Jesus. He's tricky like that, Jesus.

Minister: You know, sometimes in life it seems like there's no way out. Like a sheep trapped in a maze designed by wolves.

Minister: [singing at pilot's funeral] Lord, guard and guide the men who fly through the great spaces in the sky. Be with them always in the air, in darkened storm or sunlight glare. O, hear us when we lift our prayer, for those in peril in the air. A-men.

François Marneau: Your Excellency, I have devoted my life to enhancing France's prestige as the cultural center of the world - not only for our pleasure and education, but also for the vast sums of money these treasures create.

Minister: Monsieur Marneau, exactly what was there at Erfoud?

François Marneau: A city, which has been covered by the desert sands for almost three thousand years. Where the Berber "Joan of Arc" is buried. They call her "The Angel of the Desert." And legend has it, that entombed with her is an incalculable fortune in gold and jewels, which is most certainly worth far more than what France just spent to win the war.

Minister: [Reassuring Marneau that, in spite of Major Foster's lack of cooperation, the Foreign Legion will be used to help provide military security for Marneau's intended archaeological excavation at Erfoud] We can certainly risk a few Legionnaires for France. After all, they are mostly foreigners.

Minister: You'll never what for anything in heaven, Jack. When you go through those Pearly Gates, you'll find everything there... even without asking for it.

Kintpuash, aka Captain Jack: You say this heaven nice place, huh? You like this place, heaven?

Minister: Yes, it's a beautiful place!

Kintpuash, aka Captain Jack: Then I tell you what, Preacher. You like it so much, you take my place out there.

[indicates the gallows outside his jail cell]

Kintpuash, aka Captain Jack: You go to heaven instead of me. What do you say?

Minister: Well now, I'll be ready when the great day comes.

Kintpuash, aka Captain Jack: You not ready now... me not ready, neither!

[They see Siegfried with Odille, who dresses and looks like Odette dressed in black]

Queen: Who is that mysterious lady there, dressed in black?

Minister: I've never seen her. She's lovely.

Queen: Whoever she is, I'm glad my son has finally found a young woman, He's interested in.

[to the Minister]

Queen: Have them begin the music, now.

Minister: Music, maestro!

[They began to starting the music]

[Jesse and Zee have come to the church to get married - the minister and the congregation react when he says he's Jesse James]

Jesse Woodson James: We don't want no trouble.

Minister: Trouble? Why, son, you're as welcome as rain to the flowers. Do you realize, boy, that I had a farm giving nine hundred bushels of corn... until that railroad had taken it from me? Why, I'd given up preaching... and was making an honest living off of the land, until that dad-swinged railroad swindled me out of my own home. By golly, son, do you know I had a big house... two barns... three outhouses... until that gold-danged railroad hornswoggled me!

Minister: Are not the satisfactions of being a good man among our common men great enough to sustain us anymore?

Minister: And now, Karen Bowers, an old college friend of Alex', will play one of Alex' favourite songs.

[Karen starts playing "You can't always get what you want", and the others slowly start to smile]

[Rita is standing in the church waiting for Bilko to turn up to their wedding]

Minister: My, that's a lovely dress.

Rita Robbins: Thank you, Reverend.

Minister: Is it new?

Rita Robbins: No, I wore it the last time the lying shitheel stood me up.

Minister: Ah.

[Last Lines]

Minister: Bob Wiley, would you have Lily Marvin to be your beloved wedded wife, to cherish and love till death do you part?

Bob Wiley: I do.

Minister: Lily Marvin, would you have Bob Wiley to be your beloved wedded husband, to cherish and love till death do you part?

Lily Marvin: [smiling] I do.

[Bob heaves a sigh of relief. Bob and Lily smile at one another]

Minister: If anyone wishes to express why these two shouldn't join together in matrimony... speak now, or forever hold your peace.

[the catatonic Leo jiggles his head and makes throaty sounds. No one notices, even Bob, who is looking around]

Minister: Then, By the power invested in me and the state of New York. I pronounce you, man and wife.

Dr. Leo Marvin: [suddenly stands up and shouts] NO!

Siggy: [excitedly shouts] Dad's back!

Anna Marvin: Daddy!

Lily Marvin: Leo!

Lily Marvin: [rushing over] Leo!

[the family surrounds the recovered Leo as everyone applauds]

Minister: We are gathered here today to witness the holy matrimony of two people, Richard and Lucy, who have decided to write their own vows.

Ricky: Thank you, your honor.

Minister: Why is God, who is a loving God, capable of such things? When someone is taken from us at such a young age, we often ask ourselves why.

Margaret Barnell: Bullshit.

Minister: Well, you know what they say, sometimes less is more.

Ed Reese: That irresponsible bastard! I'm going to kill him!

Minister: Please, Mr. Reese, this is a house of worship.

Ed Reese: Oh, for god's sake!

Minister: What crime did you commit?

Alex: The accidental killing of a person, sir.

Chief Guard Barnes: He brutally murdered a woman, sir, in furtherance of theft. Fourteen years, sir!

Minister: Excellent. He's enterprising, aggressive, outgoing, young, bold, vicious. He'll do.

Governor: Well, fine, we could still look at C-block...

Minister: No, no, no. That's enough. He's perfect. I want his records sent to me. This vicious young hoodlum will be transformed out of all recognition.

Alex: Thank you very much for this chance, sir.

Minister: Let's hope you make the most of it, my boy.

Prison Chaplain: Choice! The boy has not a real choice, has he? Self-interest, the fear of physical pain drove him to that grotesque act of self-abasement. The insincerity was clear to be seen. He ceases to be a wrongdoer. He ceases also to be a creature capable of moral choice.

Minister: Padre, there are subtleties! We are not concerned with motives, with the higher ethics. We are concerned only with cutting down crime and with relieving the ghastly congestion in our prisons. He will be your true Christian, ready to turn the other cheek, ready to be crucified rather than crucify, sick to the heart at the thought of killing a fly. Reclamation! Joy before the angels of God! The point is that it works.

Minister: Oh, yes. I understand you're fond of music. I have arranged a little surprise for you.

Alex: Surprise?

Minister: One that I hope that you will like. As a um... how shall we put it? As a symbol of our new understanding. An understanding between two friends.

Minister: Punishment means nothing to them, you can see that. They enjoy their so-called punishment.

Alex: You're absolutely right, sir.

Chief Guard Barnes: Shut your bleeding hole!

Minister: As I was saying, Alex, you can be instrumental in changing the public verdict. Do you understand, Alex? Have I made myself clear?

Alex: As an unmuddied lake, friend. As clear as an azure sky of deepest summer. You can rely on me, friend.

Minister: Public opinion has a way of changing.

Minister: [addressing the audience] But enough of words, actions speak louder than. Action now. Observe all.

Minister: You seem to have a whole ward to yourself, my boy.

Alex: Yes, sir, and a very lonely place it is too, sir, when I wake up in the middle of the night with my pain.

Minister: Yes... well, good to see you on the mend!

Alex: So I waited and, O my brothers, I got a lot better munching away at eggiwegs, and lomticks of toast and lovely steakiwegs and then, one day, they said I was going to have a very special visitor.

[the Minister enters]

Minister: Good evening, my boy.

Minister: There is one thing: how did you know whose telephone to tap?

Lebel: I didn't, so I tapped all of them.

Lebel: The following conversation was recorded at 6:15 this morning. The number being dialed was identified as Molitor 5901.

[plays a tape recorder for the council]

Denise: Hello.

Valmy: Yes?

Denise: Denise.

Valmy: Valmy here.

Denise: They know he's a Danish schoolteacher. They're visiting every hotel in Paris.

[Lebel switches off the recorder]

Lebel: The contact was arrested an hour ago. Unfortunately, the information came from this room.

Minister: Whose voice was that?

St. Clair: [slowly rises] I regret to have to inform you, Minister, that it was the voice of a friend of mine... she is staying with me at the moment... excuse me.

[leaves]

Minister: I feel we owe you an apology, Commissioner.

Lebel: Thank you.

Minister: Commissioner Berthier, any suggestions?

Berthier: We're in trouble on this one. Our agents inside the OAS can't pin him down, since not even the OAS knows who he is. Action Service can't destroy him; they don't know who to destroy. The gendarmes, all forty-eight thousand of them, can't pursue him; they don't know who to pursue. The police can't arrest him. How can they? They don't know who to arrest. Without a name, all other proposals are meaningless. The first task, then, is to find it. We get a name, we get a passport and a face. And with a face, we get an arrest. But to find his name, and to do it in secret, is a job of pure detective work.

Minister: Commissioner, who is the best detective on the force?

Berthier: The best detective is my own deputy commissioner, Claude Lebel.

Minister: [to Lebel] Remember, Commissioner, you have full powers in this investigation, and the resources of every department represented here are entirely at your disposal. My instructions are simply: no publicity, and do not fail.

[On the eve of Liberation Day]

Minister: We can't find him. He's vanished, just disappeared off the face of the earth. I don't think we really ever had any idea what kind of a man you've been pursuing for the last two weeks.

Lebel: What about tomorrow?

Minister: The President rekindles the Eternal Flame at ten. High Mass is at eleven. There's only one public ceremony in the afternoon, at four o'clock: he will present Liberation medals to veterans of the Resistance.

Lebel: What about crowd control?

Minister: Crowds will be kept back from the ceremony further than ever before. Steel barriers go up several hours before each ceremony. Every house inside the barrier ring is searched from top to bottom, including the sewers. The police will be issued with special lapel badges at the last moment, in case he tries to masquerade as a security man. There'll be marksmen inside Notre Dame, even among the congregation. The priests celebrating Mass will be searched for concealed weapons. We'll have firemen and marksmen on every rooftop along the procession route. Dumont has drafted a number of specially tall officers to hedge around the President without him noticing.

Minister: The President must be told.

Lebel: Excuse me, but it has just occurred to me that we have forty-eight hours in which to find this Jackal

[There is a chorus of "What?" and "How do you know?" from the committee members]

Lebel: Am I right in assuming that the President has no engagements outside the Elysee Palace today, tomorrow and Saturday ?

Minister: None.

Lebel: And what is Sunday, August the twenty-fifth?

Minister: [Slaps forehead] Of course! Liberation Day!

Lebel: That's what he's been waiting for.

Minister: We must have been blind.

Lebel: It's obvious that the Jackal has been tipped off all along, and yet he's decided to go ahead, regardless. He's simply challenged the whole lot of us.

Minister: Are you really suggesting that there's a leak from inside this room?

Lebel: I can't say. But we think that the Jackal is now in Paris with a new name and a new face, probably masquerading as a Danish schoolteacher.

Minister: [Last Lines] I beg your pardon, but aren't you Guy Haines?

[Guy and Anne get up and walk away without saying a word to the man]

Minister: I thought Lacon had made it clear to you: keep your nose bloody well out of Witchcraft's business!

George Smiley: It's Lacon's advice I'm following.

[to Lacon]

George Smiley: You told me to follow in Control's footsteps.

Minister: I wouldn't consider that sound advice, given the mess Control left us with. It has taken Alleline - and if I may say so, myself - this long to get us back in the game.

George Smiley: The man Alleline and the others meet is called Polyakov. You believe his role is to bring information from Witchcraft to you. His real role is to receive information from the mole, to take back to Karla.

Minister: [laughing incredulously] That... that's not possible.

George Smiley: Made possible, by you, in the house which you persuaded the Treasury to pay for.

Minister: Witchcraft's intelligence is genuine! It's been gold!

George Smiley: It's just enough glitter amongst the chickenfeed. Control didn't believe in miracles, and he didn't believe in Witchcraft. But you were lazy, and you were greedy, and so you hounded him out of the Circus and you let Karla in. You've opened negotiations to exchange intelligence with the Americans...

[Realizing the implications of what Smiley is saying, the Minister starts to tremble]

George Smiley: What they tell the Circus, they'll be telling the Kremlin. Witchcraft's information, the "gold" Karla let you have, it wasn't to lure you. It was to lure the Americans. Now... do you want to take credit for that?

Hank Grotowski: Let's get this over quick.

Minister: is there a passage you'd like me to read?

Hank Grotowski: No, all I wanna hear is dirt hit that box.

Sentry: Do you want the padre?

Harry Morant: No, thank you. I'm a pagan.

Sentry: And you?

Peter Handcock: What's a pagan?

Harry Morant: Well... it's somebody who doesn't believe there's a divine being dispensing justice to mankind.

Peter Handcock: I'm a pagan, too.

Harry Morant: There is an epitaph I'd like: Matthew 10:36. Well, Peter... this is what comes of 'empire building.'

Major Thomas: Matthew 10:36?

Minister: "And a man's foes shall be they of his own household."

Minister: You cannot live in isolation from the human race, you know.

Minister: Profane! Sacrilege!

Minister: You cannot be our organist. In conscience, I must ask you to resign.

[the guys propose to the Pastor to bring girls to the wedding]

Albert: It's so we're different people when these girls around. Even Sefa behaves when Leilani is with him, that's why he never takes her anywhere. Sione's like a little brother to us.

Michael: Especially me, sir.

Stanley: They're related.

Albert: And this is the last wedding we'd want to ruin.

Michael: Right, Sione?

[Sione shrugs]

Minister: Not just dates, not some girl foolish enough to say yes to a night out and free food. You must bring girlfriends.

Albert: Girlfriends?

Stanley: But Your Majesty, Albert hasn't had a girlfriend in 30 years!

Albert: Good one, Stanley.

Minister: Someone to whom you've made a commitment.

Michael: Commitment?

Minister: Commitment? Girlfriend? Other words you don't understand, huh?... You must find someone who sees the good in you. Bring her to my church on the day of Sione's wedding. Turn up alone, and Eugene will be more than happy to toss you into the street!

[At Sione's house, the Pastor calls in Sefa and the gang]

Minister: We have a problem. As a shepherd of the Lord charged with watching over our little community, I have officiated at many happy occasions. Celebrations of love, togetherness, peace and harmony... and there are weddings you four have attended. Shall we watch some?

[starts putting in videotapes]

Minister: Tavita's wedding...

[Footage shows Tavita and his bride being given the send-off by the guests. The couple open the limousine to find Michael having sex with a bridesmaid. Michael scrambles to get out of the car and escape with Tavita chasing him]

Minister: And Albert, don't think anyone has forgotten Iakopo's wedding...

[Footage shows Albert joining the bride's siva dance. He picks up the bride, and suddenly drops her on her head]

Minister: Sefa, don't think anyone has forgotten Mose's wedding...

[Footage shows Mose and his bride are ready to cut the groom's wedding cake, when a drunk Sefa stands up and collapses on the bride's cake]

Minister: And just last night, your crowning glory. Eugene's wedding.

[Footage shows the wedding hall on fire, thanks to Stanley]

Minister: Shame and heartache, because of FOUR IMMATURE FOOLS! My flock have commanded to me, and that is why my decree, is this: at Sione's wedding, all of you are banned. Our meeting is over.

Minister: As the Ark prevailed upon the flood waters, Oh, God, so let Thy righteousness prevail in this Deluge of Blood! The Flood - - it was a Deluge of Water drowning a World of Lust! This War - it is a Deluge of Blood drowning a World of Hate! The Flood and the War - God Almighty's Parallel of the Ages.

Minister: That was the end of a world of lust and sin - - God made His covenant and the rainbow appeared in the heavens. Above the deluge of blood, and the graves of ten million men, shall not the rainbow of a new covenant appear - the covenant of peace?

Minister: Don't you understand? It is the beginning of the rainbow - - the fulfilment of the sacrifice.

Al: You mean - there will be no more war?

Minister: I mean that war is now an outlaw, and will be hunted from the face of the earth. Those ten million men have not died in vain.

Minister: Is there something you wanted?

Bannock Marshal Jared Maddox: Can't say there is, minister.

Minister: A man comes to the house of God, he comes to seek.

Bannock Marshal Jared Maddox: I'm not a believing man, minister.

Minister: Then why have you come?

Bannock Marshal Jared Maddox: A man doesn't see many churches like this in a town like Sabbath.

Minister: The shape of the house of God is unimportant.

Bannock Marshal Jared Maddox: That's not so, minister. The kind of church man builds to pray in tells you a lot about the man. Further south there are some fine old adobe churches - Mexican. They're cool and dark inside. Give a man peace. They're made for kneelin'. This one's made for standin' upright.

Minister: There is no easy comfort from God.

Minister: Why do you ask me?

Bannock Marshal Jared Maddox: I figured you'd be the one man in this town who'd find it difficult to lie to me.