Minion Quotes in Despicable Me 3 (2017)

[from trailer]

Minion: [looks at a statue of a Gru relative and laughs; to another Minion] Hey, sesct Gru gon boobs!

Megamind: [answering a cell phone] Ollo?

Minion: Uh, it's "hello", sir.

Megamind: Oh... Hello?

[to Minion]

Megamind: Like that?

Minion: [gives him a thumbs-up]

[a solar-powered laser starts to activate]

Minion: [at a monitor] Death ray readying!

Megamind: Let's see if Metro Man can withstand the full concentrated power of the sun! FIRE!

[nothing happens]

Megamind: [to Minion] Fire!

Minion: [at monitor] Still warming up, sir.

Megamind: Come again?

Minion: Warming up.

Megamind: Warming up? The sun is WARMING UP?

Minion: Just a little more and...

Megamind: MINION!

Minion: [wounded] I can't see... it's cold and dark, and warm and light...

Megamind: It's me, Minion. I'm right here.

Minion: We've had a lot of adventures together, you and I...

Megamind: We have.

Minion: I mean... most of them ended in horrible failure... but we won today, didn't we, sir?

Megamind: Yes, Minion. We did it, thanks to you.

Minion: Code... we're the good guys now.

Megamind: Code: I guess we are.

Minion: Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm going! I think this is it! I'm going far away...!

[Megamind picks up his friend's body... and drops it in the fountain]

Megamind: What a drama queen!

Minion: You know, I'm feeling much better now! Guess I just needed a swim...

Megamind: [to Roxanne] He had you going, didn't he? Classic Minion.

Megamind: [to Minion] Don't give me that face. He reels you in with that little face! Look at that face!

Megamind: You can scream all you wish, Miss Ritchi! I'm afraid no one can hear you!

[Roxanne just gives him an exasperated look]

Megamind: Uh, why isn't she screaming?

Minion: Miss Ritchi, if you don't mind...

Megamind: Like this!

[does a fake scream]

Megamind: Well, that's a poor lady scream...

[the brainbot in his lap bites his hand, and he lets out a high-pitched scream]

Megamind: AAAAAHHH!

Roxanne Ritchi: [smirking] That's a little better.

Minion: You seem in a very good mood today, sir.

Megamind: Huh? Oh, yes... Minion, how long is this going to take?

Minion: Just a few alterations, and I will be done with your most terrifying cape yet! I'm calling it... The Black Mambaaaaaaaaaa...!

Megamind: How do I look, Minion? Do I look bad?

Minion: Disgustingly horrifying, sir!

Megamind: You ALWAYS know what to say!

[capturing a terrified Hal]

Megamind: Use the spray!

[Minion uses a can of chloroform spray, but it doesn't work, so he checks the can]

Minion: All out, sir.

Megamind: Well, use the forget-me stick!

Minion: Oh, right!

[hits Hal in head with a club]

Megamind: [talking to a Drinking Bird toy] I know. Funny. Always thirsty, never satisfied. I understand you, little well dressed bird. Purposeless, emptiness. It's a vacuum, isn't it? It's... What's your vacuum like?

Minion: [bursts in with the Venus de Milo statue] I'm going off the rails on a crazy train, sir!

Megamind: Hey, not now, Minion! I'm in a heated, existential discussion with this dead-eyed, plastic desk toy.

Minion: My sole purpose in life is to look after you!

Megamind: Well, I don't need you to look after me!

Minion: What are you... what are you saying? You don't need me?

Megamind: Let me make it clear. Code: I don't need you.

Minion: You know what? You know what? Code: I'll just pack my thing and go!

Megamind: Code: Fine!

Minion: Code: Fine back! Good luck on your date!

Megamind: I will!

Minion: That doesn't even make any sense!

Megamind: I know!

Megamind: [clutching his forehead] My spider bite is acting up!

Roxanne Ritchi: Your plan is failing. Just admit it.

Minion: Yeah, good luck with THAT one!

Megamind: [to Minion] Whose side are you on?

Roxanne Ritchi: The losing side.

Minion: Thank you!

Megamind: [happily] We're gonna die!

Minion: [laughing then stops] Wait, what?

Roxanne Ritchi: [looking around Megamind's lair] Is there some kind of nerdy supervillain website where you get Tesla coils and blinky dials?

Minion: Actually, most of it comes from an outlet store in...

Megamind: Don't answer that!

Minion: [whispering] Romania.

Megamind: NO! She's using her nosy reporter skills on your weak-willed mind to find out all our secrets! Such tricks... won't work... on ME.

Roxanne Ritchi: [sarcastic] Please talk slower.

Megamind: Temptress!

Hal: Who are you?

Megamind: I sent you to this planet to teach you about honor, justice, and nobility. I am your father.

Hal: So... you're like my space dad?

Megamind: ...Yeah. I'm like your space dad.

Hal: [to Minion] And you are... what?

Minion: I'm your space stepmom! I've had some work done recently.

[looking at a charred caped skeleton]

Minion: You did it, sir.

Megamind: I did it...

[cheers]

Megamind: I did it!

Mayor: [shocked] He did it!

Warden: [shocked] He did it!

[from trailer]

Megamind: Quick, disguise.

[Megamind activates a hologram, while Minion puts on an apron and wig]

Minion: What?

Megamind: You look fantastic.

[from trailer]

Minion: Well, this is a strange turn of events...

[Megamind extracts Metro Man's DNA]

Minion: Sir, I think this is a bad idea...

Megamind: Yes, a very wickedly bad idea for the greater good of bad!

Minion: But I'm saying it's the kind of bad that... Okay, you might think is good from your bad perception, but from a good perception... It's just plain bad.

Megamind: Oh, you don't know what's good for bad!

Minion: This is about Miss Ritchi, isn't it? You're going on a date with her!

Megamind: [laughs] No, my main man! Get out of town!

Minion: Oh, this is bad... This is bad! You've fallen in love with her!

Megamind: You are forgetting your place, Minion. Now give me the keys!

Minion: What happens when Roxanne finds out who you really are?

Megamind: She'll never find out! That's the point of lying!

Minion: [sniffs suspiciously] Are you wearing Jean Paul Gaultier's "Pour Homme"?

Megamind: It's just my natural musk!

Minion: I may not know much, but I do know this: The bad guy doesn't get the girl!

Megamind: Well, maybe I don't WANT to be the bad guy anymore!

[Minion screams in horror]

Megamind: ...You heard me!

Minion: [whispers] Who are you?

Megamind: Warden, you have to let me out! You have to let me go! Titan has to be stopped!

Warden: Sorry, Megamind, you still have eight-five life sentences to live through. It'll give you plenty of time to think about what you've done.

Megamind: You want me to say it? I'll say it! Here it is, from the deepest, blackest pit of my heart: I'M SORRY!

Warden: ...Not buying it.

Megamind: [sighs] I don't blame you. I've terrorized the city countless times. I've created a hero who's turned out to be a villain. I treated my best friend, Minion, like dirt. But I beg you, don't let Roxanne, don't let this city pay for my wrongdoings.

Minion: [removing the Warder disguise] Apology accepted.

Megamind: [wounded] I'm sorry... I did the best I could...

Roxanne Ritchi: I'm so proud of you.

[Megamind touches his watch, who is actually Minion in disguise]

Roxanne Ritchi: Minion?

Minion: Surprise!

[chuckles nervously]

Minion: He's the real hero!

[points at Megamind disguised as Metro Man]

[from trailer]

Minion: So what's the plan, sir?

Megamind: I have no idea!

Megamind: Who is this man infused with god-like powers?

Minion: Well sir, his name is Hal Stewart. He's 28 years old, no criminal records... Actually, no records at all. Apparently this man hasn't accomplished anything.

Megamind: Not yet, Minion. Not yet!

Megamind: Hal Shtuart! Destiny has summoned you to heroics! Hal Shtuart? Am... Am I saying it right, Minion?

Minion: It's "Stewart", sir.

Hal: Is this a robbery? Because the lady across the hall has way better stuff!

[Metro Man suddenly collapses with exhaustion in the observatory]

Megamind: What trickery is this?

Metro Man: You mad genius!... Your dark gift has finally paid off!

Megamind: It-it has?

Metro Man: These walls... they're obviously lined... with copper!

Megamind: Yeah, so?

Minion: Sir!

[points to the monitor, which shows the death-ray is about to start up]

Metro Man: Copper... drains my powers!

Megamind: Your weakness is copper? Y-you're kidding right?

Minion: Create a hero? Why would you do that?

Megamind: So I'll have someone to fight! Minion, I'm a villain without a hero, a yin with no yang, a bullfighter with no bull to fight - in other words, I have no purpose!

[Minion discovers Bernard in the washing machine]

Minion: [calling] Sir, you really need to clean out your pockets more often!

Bernard: This has been the worst day of my entire life!

Minion: Ahahaha, no worries!

[hits Bernard with the forget-me stick]

Minion: Who wants churros?

Minion: [to Megamind] Why do you always blame me?

Minion: Nothing can stop Ruber's plan to take over Camelot.

Lady Juliana: You don't know my daughter.