Mike Hanson Quotes in Buying the Cow (2002)

Mike Hanson: You should stop drinking.

Girl in Bar: Why? I just got here.

Mike Hanson: Because you're driving me home.

[opens car door to see Mike Kissing a girl]

Tyler Carter Bellows: I thought you said you're gay.

Mike Hanson: Yeah, and your point is?

David Collins: You're the only people I've ever told.

Mike Hanson: Yeah, can you keep it that way? It makes you seem kind of creepy.

Mike Hanson: How did you figure it out?

Bar Patron: After a string of girlfriends, a couple ex-wives, and a Great Dane or two. I started thinking, "Hey, maybe it's me."